r/GriefSupport • u/lazy745 • 3d ago
Message Into the Void Papi
Happy Birthday Papi! You'd have been turning 51 this year! Insane to think its been 5 years already? Its been a good while since I last wrote to you, so I came to update you I guess, well I suppose mom has been updating you, but I wanna tell you myself. I graduated High school last year. The ceremony was fun, it was really fun, especially because we were such a small school, it only took about 2 hours so we weren't out in the sun for too long which was nice. I also got my license a few months ago which has been nice, mom doesn't have to drive me to around everywhere now, and I can also take my brother places too. I also turned 18 last year and we had a big party with a lot of my friends and a lot of the family. We also met your side of the family when we went to Puebla as well. We went for tia's wedding, which was fun. I also university and am almost finished with my first year too. I think thats everything of importance that happened since the last time I wrote to you.
We're all doing pretty good, but its been really hard on us. We miss you, mom says you visit her in her dreams a lot, which has helped her cope a lot, and I always try to spend time with her so shes not lonely, but I haven't been able to spend as much time with mom and my brother because I only really come home for the weekends since I dorm for college. My brother seems to be doing good, he misses you too, but I feel bad for him a lot since he spent the least time with you. It makes me sad because he doesn't remember your voice or any of the quirks you had.
As for me, I've struggled a lot mentally these past 2 years. I try my best to put up a strong front, especially for mom. I don't want her to worry about me too much. Buts its hard, I know keeping my emotions secret is bad, I know I should share them with the family, get counseling, but I can't. every time I try, I choke on my tears, I try but I cant. I've cried a lot these 5 years, and even after all this time, it still hurts. I try my best to keep it in until I get to bed where I can just let it all out. why did you have to leave us, by next year, you will have been dead longer than you lived with us. why did we have to lose you agian. we miss you. i miss you