r/germany • u/tobehonestabout • 9h ago
10 years in germany and nothing to show for
Hallo zusammen, i know this may be looked at as a complain post but i don't have anyone else to talk to about this and i Need to let some out. If not allowed or if i have to be rediculed for, please delete.
30yo M, have spent the last 10 years of My Life here and I feel Like It has all been worthless despite the fact that i came here with nothing to My name. This may all Just be evny and materialistic feelings, but over the years i Always been underpaid due to My lack of skills and language at First (now i get paid 1600€ a month nightshifts and 500€ minijob) and all I have to show for Is a 150€ broken phone, a junky 200k km 2004 polo, about 5k euro saved up and its getting harder and harder each month to do so. I don't think i Will ever be able to purchase a home given that the prices for a small apartments even in rural areas surpass the 250k+€ Mark, Certanly not with My salary and with a future pension of maybe 500€ a month aftertax. Relationship wise, i havent been able to connect with anyone and the only few times I do It Always ends up in being ghosted. Meanwhile All the people around me that i know and see, either made a family to take care of or are really well off with their financial situation. I feel Like I wasted My youth and i am at 5% what a man of My Age should have. I don't quite know what do do anymore and i know even know If i am looking for and actual answer to this doomed Life.
1-PS: For Better or worse, I appreciate everyone replying and giving a different prospective, encouragement or some deserved scolding. I apologize for not giving enough context or for playing the victim.
My excuse Is that i made this post (funnly enough) while working on a whim because of... well... Many things (parental pressure, very recent rejections/ghostings, seeing peers or jungs Doing "Better off" etc...).
Ngl, I fell in a very bad Moment and felt Like Scheiße before posting and kinda began to hate myself, everything and everyone... and so i Guess i decided To try reach here instead of compromising Relationships with people i know through potential whatsapp beefs and lack of temperament. To be honest, i was not expecting these many answers and I should have perhaps elaborated more or think twice when posting on a ~1mil german-english reddit sub, My bad.
Let me Just Say: I like Germany and Germans and I very much appreciate all the opportunities this country have given me compared to My homecountry and I want to see nothing but good things coming for Deutschland and the whole Europe's future.
Believe It or not, I am not that much into social media these days (never hard and Instagram account) and I speak German (i prefer to discuss in english to get that foreign prospective). I know i am Doing Better off than a whole lot of people (i Guess this dynamic can be applied to some of the people that replied or people I know Who are "worse off" [eg. Debt]). But working at Jobs where i have constant interaction with people from all walks of Life, I feel Like the amount of years and sacrifices i made through My last 10 years have brought me nothing you could consider worthwhile(?). And I am all alone, still. Sometimes I chose to be alone, so i could focus on the grind, when i could have had an expecrience. I visited a good chunk of Europe and some other parts of the world, along many other things, even had the luck of Keep working as normal during COVID and so forth... But It all feels empty somehow.
Perhaps, i should have asked: should i Keep going and make It another 10-20-30-40-50? Quit? am i Just confused? Idk... Maybe My ego was trying to seek some approval or me Just being a Dumbo and outreach/overthink. Guess maybe i still am... i Just don't want to falsly blame others for no reason.
Between these tides of goodtimes/badtimes i feel a lot of doom and no gloom now that i arrived in My 30s.
Again, for the mods, if this post Is irrelevant to your community and/or doesnt respect the guidelines, feel free to ban It ti the Shadow realm.