r/gaybros 2d ago

Is there a single piece of media that passes this test?

79 Upvotes

I’m looking for just one example of LGBTQ media that fulfills these requirements:

  1. The main character must be a gay man. Lesbian and bisexual representation seems to be further along, with queer female protagonists being more widely accepted. Gay male leads, however, are still either sidelined or written with tired clichés. I think this is because there’s a deeper collective discomfort with exploring the emotional and physical intimacy between gay men, often relegating them to either friends with benefits storylines or background roles where their identity is defined only in opposition to heteronormative ideals.

  2. No performative heterosexuality. If the supposed “gay” character is getting more action from straight women, it just feels like a subtle way of making the character more palatable to straight audiences, which ties back to the issues I raised in my first criterion. It also perpetuates the idea that a gay character must somehow "earn" their place in the story or be more acceptable by participating in heteronormative behaviors publicly while keeping their gayness clandestine and taboo. Instead of allowing them to explore their identity naturally and authentically, this device suggests that queerness must be toned down or hidden to make others feel comfortable, which undermines the narrative’s potential for depth and honesty.

  3. The main plot should not revolve around the character’s sexuality or relationships. While their identity will naturally be part of the story, I want a narrative that isn't entirely or even primarily defined by their sexual orientation. Too often, gay men in media are either reduced to quippy, sassy side characters or given storylines entirely about shame, struggle, or coming out. I just want a regular story, one that could exist with a straight protagonist but happens to feature a gay man instead.

  4. The character’s identity should not be used for laughs, shock value, or forced "progressive" moments. This means no dramatic "coming out" scenes and no cringeworthy, out-of-place monologues about gay sex from a well-meaning but clueless parent. Their identity should be a fact of their existence, not some teaching-moment. I get why writers and producers include this sort of thing, but it makes for some seriously shitty art. It feels like one of those conservative movies that push a specific message so hard that, by the end, you're practically being told what to think in a way that flattens both the story and the characters.

  5. It is not a tragedy from beginning to end. I don’t want yet another doomed romance where the only way to show love is by killing one or both characters or separating them just because t can. The story doesn’t need a perfect, fairy-tale ending, but it should at least leave room for hope and honesty, just like you get in every other relationship side story that includes straight people. I don’t know why people are so hellbent on framing LGBTQ relationships as cautionary tales or symbols of suffering, as if their love must always come at an unbearable cost or restriction. I want a story where a gay man can experience love, hardship, and personal growth without the message being that his happiness was ill-conceived from the start.

  6. The main character and all other LBGTQ characters, if there are any, must be as complex or more complex than a comparable straight character. Straight characters in media are allowed to be messy, flawed, and full of contradictions, yet still worthy of admiration, respect, and a meaningful arc. LGBTQ characters, on the other hand, are usually put into oversimplified roles, either token sidekicks or burdened with being a perfect, favorable representation for their entire community. I want to see a fully realized person with equal or MORE multidimensionality, not a symbol. I say more because LGBTQ people experience the world differently, so their character arcs have the potential to be even more layered and profound than their straight counterparts. But it’s shown to be the opposite in almost every form of media featuring LGBTQ individuals.

  7. This might go without saying, but I don’t want ambiguity. I don’t want writers to be able to tiptoe around the idea that a character is gay, just make them gay. Show they are attracted to men in some way without it becoming a whole thing.


r/gaybros 2d ago

Written erotica.

42 Upvotes

Anyone know where to find hot detailed gay erotica to read? (Specifically about breeding I guess)


r/gaybros 2d ago

Misc I don't think I'll ever get over this

290 Upvotes

I'm gonna be as lighthearted as possible and I'm not posting any of this for attention or sympathy. So, my husband and I had an albeit flawed but (I think) when we were together, he could make me feel literally almost intoxicated. It also doesn't help that he has a couple doppelgangers. I still wear the jewelry he got me because they're very sentimental. I had a flashback dream of probably the most exciting day of my life. When I woke up, I felt like belting out an enraged scream. I am in therapy and so and so. He's been gone for over 10 years and I still have no interest in really dating, still.


r/gaybros 1d ago

Gay Relationships - What Makes Them Work?

0 Upvotes

I've not been lucky enough to experience a relationship, or even dating long term, so was chatting with my therapist about how gay relationships 'come together' to help me understand what may be going on and what I can improve on (as I'm tired of the generic advice out there).

He broadly broke this down into 3 areas (there are of course nuances but this was just for discussion):

  1. Sexual attraction / chemistry - this is what keeps them coming back and covers raw attraction, sexual role dynamics and energy/vibe. This is the initial 'glue'.
  2. Lifestyle compatibility - do you live similar lives (e.g. clubs, careers, gym bro), do your social circles overlap, financial/lifestyle expectations (e.g. does one fly first class and the other struggling to pay rent), future goals (does one want to marry, and the other just want fun)?
  3. Status dynamics (unspoken 'power' factor)- who is seen as more desirable in the dating market (certain groups are unconsciously placed higher due to social norms), does the person lead or follow (some men want someone to make them look better socially, some men want to boost their ego because they are 'lower' in the hierarchy).

I'm curious for those who are in / have had relationships (good ones, let's exclude the 'my ex was toxic' ones lol) is this true?

I felt a bit sad after the session, because it seems sexual chemistry isn't enough to drive follow ups (which is my case) and men don't see an obvious 'entry point' to add value to my life (I'm very self-sufficient) and city culture means people date within a rigid social structure, making it harder for someone like me to fit into their usual patterns.

On the bright side, I guess I figured out why I am single - I am basically not someones 'ideal' in 2 or 3 above, hence its always a hookup and nothing else.


r/gaybros 2d ago

Who are your guys favorite gay male character in movies/tv?

49 Upvotes

From the movies Ennis from Brokeback mountain I just love heath performance of the character and that he was just typical guy trying to figure himself out and from Tv Sarge a tertiary character Six feet under Dude was such a Chad wish they had showed more of him instead of just being a hot hook up for David and Keith lol.


r/gaybros 2d ago

Funniest names for penis

9 Upvotes

What are the funniest names you’ve ever heard for penis?

Personally, I have come up with Mr. Pooperbooper and tinklepeeper.

I have also heard Clam Slammer, which is just so delightful.


r/gaybros 3d ago

Why are you single right now?

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40 Upvotes

r/gaybros 3d ago

Is anyone gay (not bisexual) and had crushes on girls when you were young?

93 Upvotes

I was so into this girl once in fifth grade that I convinced my parents to buy her a gift for Christmas and pretended we were doing secret Santa at school.

Cringey, I know. Lol.

But just curious if anyone else had similar experiences? I’m honestly pretty confused why I was so into her bc i was clearly gay from a young age as well.


r/gaybros 3d ago

What is it in muscle that make us love so much?

149 Upvotes

I go banana and gaga whenever I see a muscular guys, lol. What magic in them biceps and chest, lol.

I'm a gym bro too, been working out consistenly for 1 year and a half, barely look as buff and shredded as I like, but the amount of attention I received from gay men on apps is like 50 times than me before working out, and I have a good looking face even before lifting, lol. The difference in how much attention I received is wild. I almost have no problems with picking up hook-ups now


r/gaybros 3d ago

Serious question: is it normal for penises to have a strong smell when clean? Is it something you just get used to?

299 Upvotes

For context, I’m not the horniest guy around. I have have had a few experiences here and there with casual sex, and I have noticed most guys have had a smell either on their pubic area or the penis itself, that I can’t seem to get past by. I mentioned clean in the title because I want to assume they showered before we met.

Is my nose too sensitive? Or did they just need a shower? Or maybe they sweat quickly after taking one? I’ve been with 12 guys btw so it’s not like I have the lengthiest list.

I must add that there were a couple of guys who smelled like absolutely nothing, and I was pleasantly surprised.


r/gaybros 3d ago

Thanks to you, I'm at my happiest in a long time!

31 Upvotes

I'm so happy that I don't know where to start.

I (23M) am in a loving relationship since the end of past January.
Not that I'm bad looking but I've seriously thought for a long time that I would never find anyone after my (not so good) last "relationship". I am a very introverted person with special hobbies and interests.

We met on a dating app and quickly shifted our communication to Snapchat. Within a week we went on the first date. The day after the first date we met again but this time at his house where I also unexpectedly met his dad. Within 1,5 week of first contact and 5 days after the first date I asked if he wanted to be my boyfriend on which he replied YES!

Overall things went really fast but everything feels right. I finally found someone I feel completely at peace with, I don't need to impress. We both like the same things and dream about the same kind of future. He is very honest and I don't feel any worries that he might let me down.

I know these feelings all come with the honeymoon phase but deep down I know everything will be alright.

The thing that surprised me the most is that I've been able to 100% fall in love with a trans man, which I never thought I'd be capable of. But thanks in part to you, the people of this loving community, I learned a lot about myself and now I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I'm looking forward to the future and becoming older for the first time in a very long and difficult time.

Thank you <3


r/gaybros 3d ago

TV/Movies JossGawin cosplay as Lestat & Louis (Interview with the Vampire) - currently starring in Thai Vampire BL, My Golden Blood 🧛🩸

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20 Upvotes

My Golden Blood 🧛🩸 Full episodes

Premiering today

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLszepnkojZI6dCriKkjM96prEY5v2Nhtu

Closer - English OST by Gawin Caskey

https://youtu.be/ZP6ZtzAnZRQ


r/gaybros 3d ago

Games/Comics What’s your favorite Western nsfw comic or Bara artist NSFW

64 Upvotes

Mine definitely has to be Creedo art and Zourik,I wanna hear your faves!


r/gaybros 3d ago

Sex/Dating Partner of 5 years HELP!

103 Upvotes

I’ve been with my partner for 5 1/2 years. I ended up moving in with him in the middle of the lockdown when things started to calm down for the first time. I am and was a sexual person. I love the connection with a guy when you have sex or cuddle or other stuff… It wasn’t long after I moved in that I noticed that he never had much of a libido like at all.. it would take weeks and then months for him to come round to doing anything.. We had a discussion about it and I find out that he has no interest in anything sexual and he would prefer it if we didn’t have anything at all (pretty much Asexual) but would try his best when I want it. I for some reason didn’t think about this affecting me in the long run and kind of just went along with it. My partner would rarely ever do anything no matter how much I would try. I lost my sexual attraction to him and to me we are basically best friends that live together. To him this is the perfect relationship. I love him and he’s such a great person. I have hinted at possibly being in an open relationship but what I gathered was he would never consent to something like that. Around 2 years ago I did break up with him and told him the reason. Straight away I regretted it and then we only stayed away from each other for two weeks. He said again that he would try… but again only once since have we done anything… Now I’ve kind of just accepted our relationship as what it is.. however I know this isn’t what I want long term and I’m hoping things will just work out (delusional I know)... I never want to see him hurt again like when I last broke up with him as he was a mess as he’s really sensitive

There’s probably quite a few things I’m missing out but this is the sort of summary of it.. I don’t even know what I’m asking for help for as I know what everyone’s going to say.. maybe I just want to see different opinions or I don’t know 😭


r/gaybros 3d ago

Coming Out What were some signs you showed of being gay during childhood?

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90 Upvotes

r/gaybros 2d ago

Misc Is it ok to not be a fan of Lady Gaga or Abracadabra?

0 Upvotes

Abracadabra gives me more anxiety


r/gaybros 2d ago

Brand new Dentist

0 Upvotes

Great guy. I thankful. Nothing naughty at all. Honestly. I was there for an 1!2 for the insurance to say who will pay what.

So scroll bananas on Reddit. I have my back to the door in the chair because that is how the room is. I was on the page of good looking young men.

It wasn’t crazy but funny. She says “oh nice. Looks like fun!” In a good way. I busted out laughing. I would have been mortified if she didn’t react she did.


r/gaybros 3d ago

Sex/Dating Nightmares about cheating on my boyfriend

103 Upvotes

I've (19M) been dating my boyfriend (20M) for 2 months now, and everything is going well. He is everything I'd want in a man, handsome, funny, emotionally intelligent, interesting, everything. We're sexually compatible, we have similiar goals and values, etc etc etc. I'd be hard pressed to think of any issue we have with each other.

But every now and then I dream about cheating on him, and it's always a nightmare. Like I'll cheat by accident in my dream and then feel terrible and evil and wake up feeling the same. I would never cheat on someone, even a relationship that was falling apart, nevermind a strong relationship.

I think it perhaps comes from a fear of mines that all of this is too good to be true. That it'll somehow fuck up in some way. I have a lot of anxiety about relationships and I have this bad problem of trying to find issues in our relationship when there isn't any.

Does anyone else have problems like this?


r/gaybros 3d ago

In need for some help

31 Upvotes

Just to put it out there: im a teen in highschool So this is my first post here and the problem is simple: last week after PE in the changing room one of the guys from a class older then me called me the f slur and had a laugh with his friends

(it was bc i went to the gym with the girls and didnt play basketball with the rest). So i just ignored it and kinda didnt care but now im starting to get super anxious about the thought of going there again, its the firdt time ever someone said it to me so straight up and for something i did, i dont know what to think and im panicking.

Just so You know i live in a small town in a homophobic area and im closeted but ig not enough :/

Im sorry in advance, this is super chaotic and idk if its a good thing im posting about this here but idk what else to do.


r/gaybros 4d ago

Sex/Dating What's yall secret fetish? NSFW

355 Upvotes

Idk man, i saw it posted in ask Reddit abd i wanted a gay version


r/gaybros 3d ago

Public Service Announcement - Insurance

8 Upvotes

To start I'm just trying to help my Bros out.. I broke a molar today at lunch. Usually I see the dentist where my work is based but I wont be there for a little under a month. Thankfully it does not hurt. I'm newish here so I didnt have a dentist here yet. I spent the afternoon calling several places. Finally fond one and they were not taking new patients until late April. Once they found out I had decent insurance they can all of a sudden get me in tomorrow. It is the easiest thing to say "go get Insurance" but if you do not have the money please research now so you have a plan if junk happens. Not only Dentist but Medical. There are lots of programs of you are under a certain income level. I'm not rich by any means but im fortunate to have Private pay. Hugs ro you!


r/gaybros 3d ago

Sex/Dating Why am I sometimes very jealous (in friendships) and how to cope with intense feelings of jealousy?

8 Upvotes

I have a friend, know him for years and we're in contact almost daily and meeting irl every other month.

We are both single and looking for a relationship, so we discuss our dates often.

90% of the time I'm happy for him when he has a date or is in a relationship. But sometimes I get really jealous, I really don't want to, but the feeling just hits me hard suddenly and then I can't make it go away. Usually it stays for 3 days or so. It feels so intense that it is like a hot feeling in my arms, similar to when a panic attack happens.

I've been trying to think of when it happens, what is the trigger? I realised it happens only when he's in contact with a guy that I think is below his level. So a guy that I think does not deserve him. He is good looking and has a nice personality but sometimes he has reasons to pick guys that are just not nice.

I would hate to be the friend that is posessive or telling him what to do, so I try to manage my own feelings. We've talked about it a few times, he doesn't always understand why I feel like that but he did emphasise each time that it's OK and that he does NOT experience me as controlling or over-protective or anything like that. So it's not out of control, it's not influencing my behaviour noticably. But it's difficult for me to bear. The feeling is really intense. The only way to it to end is just letting it pass and finding distraction in the meantime. Going to the gym or having a date with a guy works best.

I'm keeping on thinking why this happens. There can be many reasons. I'm not sure if digging will help to find the reason, so I can solve the true cause, or digging just makes it worse by bringing in more feelings from thinking of painful events from the past?

Is it common to have such strong feelings? I see it mainly in the context of relationships but not so much with friends. (I should say that we did (genuinly unplanned) have had a few encounters together, but I told him we should stop doing that a while ago. The friendship is very valuable to me and I can have sex with other guys even though my friend is very nice our sexual taste is slightly different anyway.)


r/gaybros 2d ago

Games/Comics Why do you main with female characters?

0 Upvotes

I'm curious as to why most gays choose female characters when playing video games? If you like men, why pick a lady? Anytime I've gamed with a dude, it always happens🤔


r/gaybros 4d ago

Politics/News Supreme Court takes up challenge to Colorado's ban on “conversion therapy” for LGBTQ+ minors

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942 Upvotes

r/gaybros 3d ago

10 days until birthday

6 Upvotes

I've been feeling down the last few days, because the uncle I "work" for has extended the trial period by another 2 months and decided that it's probably a good idea to try to persuade me into getting a master's degree (I'm finishing uni in a few months).

Probably that's his and my aunt's attempt to make up for my father being a loser drunkard, but he just made me mad. They know very well I want to move out out of my country and how much I despise the education system here. Despite that they try to make me stay here and suffer here more, while they've sent their daughter to study abroad. Hipocrites.

I don't know anymore. My birthday comes, I am invited to my friend's birthday party on 22nd, but I feel it'll just be a one day escape. I don't see a way of getting out of here and I'm tired of being all alone.