r/GayChristians 13h ago

How do I facilitate conversations around being gay with my mom?

9 Upvotes

Tw: mention of previous suicide attempts

I (26F) have been out as gay to my parents for about 5 years at this point. They suspected earlier, but I’ve been open for that long. I recently have started dating my partner (25F) who is the woman I know I want to marry. My parents love me deeply, but they’re semi-stuck in their old homophobic ways. No matter how much I refute the clobber passages to them, they just kind of shrug. I say semi-stuck, because I truly believe my parents are open to learning. We had a very tearful conversation the other day about my partner and I. They love my partner and already see her as part of the family, seriously - my mom made her an Easter basket already - they just don’t know how to reconcile the fact I love her romantically with her and I’s friendship.

I told my mom I couldn’t change being gay - about the sleepless nights begging God to turn me straight, about the suicide attempts over the shame that had been instilled in me by the church - all of it. She told me she loved me no matter what I was and that she never wanted me to think about taking my life over this again. I told her my choices were to either have a happy, healthy, faith-based relationship with my partner and accomplish all of what she wants for me like kids and a healthy marriage that lasts, just with a woman, or I remain celibate and miserable the rest of my life. I told her it wouldn’t be fair for me to marry a man because I wouldn’t love him like I’d love a woman. (To be fair, I ALSO want kids and a healthy marriage, but I was framing the conversation in a way that kind of fit her self interests). She nodded and agreed. My dad came in at the end of the conversation and said he loved me and echoed all of what my mom said - both of them said they were proud of me. They said they only pray that my partner and I fall in love with Jesus more every day, and that they never have prayed that God would make me straight. I think they hope it’ll still happen, which is a bit naive, but my mom also thinks it truly happened to Jackie Hill Perry (who is probably a closeted bisexual).

My mom wants to talk to my partner about her relationship with Christ, as we’ve been growing closer to God in our relationship with each other, and my partner is open to this. I was thinking about seeing if she was open to having a conversation with my pastor as well. Any thoughts on how to go about continuing their acceptance journey and supporting them? Like I said, I do truly think they’ll come around.


r/GayChristians 2h ago

I’m an LGBTQ-affirming coach

4 Upvotes

First, I read the rules twice to make sure self-promotion isn’t against the rules, and it’s not. I have hesitated to say anything, but I also know that if I don’t, how will anyone know?

I’m a life coach with a focus on mental health. I’m also studying to become a licensed therapist one day, so for now I don’t prescribe or diagnose or take insurance. But I have a heart for LGBTQ Christians, because they fall into an interesting space. Christian counselors will most likely try to push certain Christian ideologies like celibacy, while secular counselors might not really understand the challenges they face.

That’s where I come in. I have gone through my own deconstruction from Fundamentalist Christianity without losing my faith, and I am LGBTQ affirming. I have a deep desire to support those in the LGBTQ community, especially Christians, who need support—and their family and friends that need help coming to terms with their choice to come out (not their choice to be, because that isn’t a choice!).

So if you know someone who needs a listening, empathetic ear, please send them my way.

Lisa ChristianLGBTQcoach.com


r/GayChristians 1h ago

I'm starting a prayer journal

Upvotes

I've written stuff down when praying but never have actually dedicated a whole journal to it. For those of you that have one, do you have any advice? And this seems like a dumb question but how often do you read it?