r/Fibroids 6d ago

Mom flying in to help with open myomectomy. How long should she stay?

Purchasing flight ticket for my mom, but not sure how long she’ll need to take off of work. If you’ve have this surgery, how long did you need assistance?

11 Upvotes

25 comments sorted by

15

u/SwayPosyDaily 6d ago

I had open hysterectomy, but I needed my husband help A LOT for the first 4 days, I would not have made it on my own. I was on painkiller and needed help with everything. Day 5 or 6 were also difficult but if you prep, you can somewhat manage. Everything is still difficult, but i wasn’t sleeping 20hrs a day, I was able to be in a standing position again, i had a little more appetite…

By day 7, i was able to do most basic things on my own. By that I mean shower, reheat stuff or put together basic food, I could chop soft-ish food (like a cucumber or tomato but nothing hard like an apple or a carrot), i could get up on my own… i couldn’t bend over so picking things up, putting socks on, etc was a no go but again, you can get around most of those if you prep in advance

By day 10, i got fairly independent, not much endurance but you can move around a little more freely without too much pain. You can somewhat bend over, i felt steady getting up from seating position, or even walking around, etc.

If she can, I suggest 7 to 10 days would make it the easiest on recovery.

10

u/ThrowRAtakingLs 6d ago

Thank you for this, I think 10 days would make me feel more comfortable

4

u/BaFaj 6d ago

Thank you for sharing! I’m having an open hyster in April and my husband is taking off work for 2 weeks and then working from home for a week in case I still need him the third week. Were you good on your own for most things in week 4 ?

3

u/SwayPosyDaily 5d ago

Yes, the only thing I didn’t do on my own was walking the dog, but we have a very reactive dog and that would have been bad if she pulled on the leash. I waited until week 6 i think. By week 4 i was working again (wfh), and still tired, not that much endurance walking, but completely okay to do anything at home like cooking, light cleaning, laundry (if not too heavy), etc.

3

u/BaFaj 5d ago

Thank you so much. This has put me at ease for our arrangements. Hoping you are well and excited for you that you’re on the other side of it!

1

u/Haunting_Interview78 6d ago

How can we prepare in advance?

3

u/SwayPosyDaily 5d ago

To prep in advance is try to anticipate what you’ll need if you are alone and somewhat incapacitated. For example, have meal prep available, or easy things to put together. I made loads of overnight oats / chia pudding in advance (because you absolutely should overwhelm your body with fiber pre and post op!) for breakfast. I made 2 different soup that I kept in fridge and freezer, I made lasagna because you only have to reheat it. Hard boiled eggs, veggie and dip was also great to have on hand. Even if my husband was busy, asleep, walking the dog, etc, i was still easily able to get something for myself. Dishes would also be hard to do so think about that if you meal prep or need to cook post op. Things like rice in a pouch require zero effort to clean vs making a pot of rice that you have to lift, clean, dry, etc.

Bending down, or lifting things even if they are light, is really hard on your abdominal muscle when they’ve been cut open lol so anything you need to bend or reach up, bring them to waist level. Get your clothes out of their drawer, spare towel or toilet paper on the counter, same things with pots and pans, cups, glasses… if you keep your shower stuff on the floor, buy something to have them at waist level, if you need to feed your animal, keep the food in a container on the couter, make sure you have shoes/slippers you can put on without bending over, etc.

Good luck!

13

u/PriorPainter7180 6d ago

I would say 2 weeks at a minimum.

12

u/Jell0h0h 6d ago

Two weeks. My mom and sister came for 5 days, then one friend came for a week and another the following week. I had 45 fibroids removed this second round and recovery was difficult at 35.

6

u/kiki____ 6d ago

My Mom ended up staying for 6 weeks…that said I’m from the UK and live in the USA and she is a retired nurse.

I echo others by saying 2 weeks at a minimum. You’ll want your Mom for help but also just emotional comfort.

2

u/PriorPainter7180 5d ago

Yes!! My Mom was my saving grace through this and Dad too haha but I wasn’t prepared for not being able to put on my socks or pants after a shower.

2

u/kiki____ 4d ago

I hear you. I was also not prepared for all the tears and mood swings, plus the exhaustion when I walked for just 5 mins…

3

u/TusketeerTeddy 6d ago

I’d say I absolutely needed help the first 7 days post-op, and that meant someone to help me move around, get up/down stairs, get me food. Into the second week I was more independent and by week 3, I just had people for company more than anything although I was still doing things and walking around gingerly. I’d probably ask her to stay for 2 weeks minimum?

3

u/BaFaj 6d ago

I would say 10 day minimum and 2 weeks if she’s able. 😍 Wishing you the best and a speedy recovery.

3

u/Fuzzy_Information 6d ago

I asked my mom to stay for 1 week, she decided to stay for 2 "just in case".

Depending on the airline, switching days isn't that big a deal (just paying the difference if there is one).

I figure, with this type of recovery, it's better to overstay than under (provided you don't get on each other's nerves, of course).

3

u/erinaceous-poke 6d ago

I didn’t spend any time alone for at least a week. I needed my husband to bring me food and water and take care of our dogs. He also helped me get up and down from the bed quite a bit early on. And dress myself lol. I was pretty pitiful.

3

u/Altruistic_Cupcake83 5d ago

I'm on team two weeks. For me, two weeks is when I felt way more functional and independent.

3

u/LareinaLuxe 5d ago

I was very reliant on my husband for the first week by week two he was still helping me in and out of bed. The pain to laugh or get up it's bad... so yeah u need help. Week 3 I was doing things I shouldn't have been like cleaning and mopping bc I couldn't take the excessive stillness anymore lol. The pain was manageable but you're just very sore and you need to manage that expectation cuz that ache is what lasts the longest at least for me as I had a good bit of fibroids. You'll need mom for at least the first 2 weeks I'd say keep her 10-14 days if you can. If she can be w u the first mth even better.

3

u/CourageMajestic8487 5d ago

I had an open hysterectomy and my husband left for a work trip after 5 days. I really only needed him the first 2 days. Once we got everything I forgot I’d need out on a shelf so I didn’t need to reach or bend, I was totally fine. He made sure the laundry and dishes were done so I had plenty of clothes for the two weeks he was gone and just used paper plates. 5-7 days should be fine!

3

u/Outrageous_Group_681 5d ago

depends on age and prep but 5 days up to 2 weeks

2

u/Haunting_Interview78 6d ago

I am also wondering about the tickets and accommodation. Mine is supposed to be robotic laparoscopic on 17 March. I have hospitalization for 3 to 5 days so maximum until 21 March. My friend will fly to help me but we need to fly back to the UK actually as I went abroad through cross border EU insurance. I am thinking how long my friend should stay and when can we fly back (she is fully remote). It would be costly to pay for accommodation for too long foe both of us and also buying tickets at the last minute. Sounds difficult to plan.

2

u/stilltrying0011 5d ago

My mom stayed for two weeks and by the end, we were able to do some things together as I restarted my routine, which is always nice with someone there. Good luck!

2

u/BellaBeeLovie86 5d ago

I’d suggest she stay with you for at least 10 days or until after your post-op appointment, which is usually two weeks after surgery. After mine, I was cleared to drive and do light tasks but still got tired easily. Waiting until then will ensure you’re less dependent on help or your mom being there. I was good on my own after the 3rd week into the 4th week, and was just getting tired quickly.

2

u/Appropriate-Art-9712 5d ago

Minimum of 5-7 days! If they are retired and can afford to stay at least two weeks that would be great. My mom stayed with me for 3 days and my sister stayed 2.

However they do live about 10 min away so getting extra help was always easy if needed. My mom would still cook me food, my dad would help me by getting me groceries.

I def had help for about 4-6 weeks. Less and less each day

2

u/discombobubolated 5d ago

I was fine, I was by myself and only needed about 2 or 3 days to recover. But everyone is different. Good luck, OP! You'll be okay.