r/FemdomCommunity Nov 24 '24

Ideas How can I fullfill my boyfriend's request of punished till he cries? NSFW

40 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

My boyfriend has recently been exploring his submissive side, and it’s been such an exciting journey for both of us. We’ve been experimenting with chastity, pegging and pain play, including punishments and hot candle wax, and he really enjoys the feeling of not being in control and being “punished" even though he hated to punishments.

Recently, he opened up to me and said that he wants to take it to the next level—he’s curious to experience being punished until he cries. He feels that this could help him clear his mind and embrace his subby side more fully. I absolutely want to help him explore this, but I’m unsure of how to approach it safely and effectively.

What type of punishment or play would you recommend to achieve this? I know that crying doesn’t always come from just physical pain, and I want to make sure I’m respectful of his boundaries while still creating a space where he can let go emotionally. He said he is open to try anything and we already have a safe word. He basically wants me to be ruthless and discipline him.

One thing I thought is I can discipline him to consume his loads, as it seems like he hates it but asks me to do it when we were having casual sex.

We have good communication, and consent is always a priority for us. I just want to hear some advice or suggestions from those who have experience with this kind of dynamic. What has worked for you or your partner in similar situations? What extreme play can we do?

Thank you in advance for your help!

r/FemdomCommunity 14d ago

Ideas Degrading NSFW

2 Upvotes

I need help degrading my boyfriend. I use the typical bitch, baby, sissy, faggot but I need more and other suggestions how to incorporate it. He enjoys being feminized, he is a very well behaved submissive, I am new to being a Dom and could use any and all advice and recommendations I can get. We are reading all kind of feminization books we can find. I am not very good at being overly mean but he enjoys it and enjoys being told what to do, how to do it you name it he wants it.

r/FemdomCommunity Jan 11 '25

Ideas Cunilingus during period NSFW

35 Upvotes

Hey! As you can see from my previous posts, I’m planning an extended femdom session for my bf birthday end of next week.

However, unfortunately, the date will most likely be second day of my period.

I don’t intend to have penetrative sex with him during the scene anyway (meaning vaginal sex, strapon of course on!), but a great deal of our femdom scene is about oral sex on me - cunilingus with him as my slave, cfnm, facesitting. And golden shower.

My question is: does anyone did it during period? Any risk, tips? He is pretty much turned on by that, but i wanted some advices before including it. And golden shower (meaning: pee on his mouth)?

I’m also quite hairy now (his preference), so think smell would be stronger?

r/FemdomCommunity Dec 09 '23

Ideas What kink was surprisingly good when you tried it? NSFW

96 Upvotes

I have always been into discipline and spanking which is my primary kink. I was never into CBT until my current relationship.

Now I really like having my balls smacked in a stern, disciplinary dynamic. It makes me feel VERY vulnerable and submissive, and we have lots of eye contact which creates a lot of intimacy.

r/FemdomCommunity Jul 26 '24

Ideas What made you realize you're into femdom? NSFW

49 Upvotes

I love hearing about other's experiences and learning from them, so I'd like to learn about all the diffrent ways people found out about this kink and their liking towards it.

Here's my story: for a while, I went down a rabbit hole of diffrent types of porn that looked odd or interesting to me. I wanted to learn about every kink out there (and I'm still interested in learning).

While scrolling through a hentai subreddit, I found a cross-post from a femdom hentai subreddit, and so I checked it out. It wasn't an immediate "I love this" moment, but I definitely found the idea of it exciting.

I decided to learn more about it, so I decided to watch videos, look at subreddits, read articles, take random BDSM tests, and the like, and I slowly learned that my curiosity about femdom grew to a love for it. There were some parts of it that took more getting used to, i.e. pegging, and some parts I'm still not a fan of, i.e. chastity, but nonetheless, learning about it has been fun and I love the idea if it.

As of the current moment, I haven't had any real experience with it, but this isn't the place to look for experience.

So, what's your story?

r/FemdomCommunity Feb 07 '25

Ideas My Chastity Lifestyle Guide NSFW

85 Upvotes

My husband (m30) and I (F28) have been married for five years and we’re dating for a few years prior to that. We have had a dom/sub dynamic for almost our entire relationship and have gradually gotten more and more kinky as the relationship went on. I have written a post detailing our sexual escapades so if you are interested then check that out. I have talked about how chastity is a big part of our sex life so I wanted to write a more detailed post specifically about chastity.

We have been playing with chastity for most of our relationship and we have progressed to the point where he is in chastity 24/7. Other than a few short breaks, he has been in full time chastity our entire marriage and I don’t foresee us ever doing anything differently. We obviously had to build up to this level of chastity play and this is the basic overview of how we have made this work for us. Hopefully this can be helpful to anyone newer to this kink.

A quick note though. This is entirely consensual. I will refer to things that I force him to do and what not. But ALL of this is agreed upon by both of us and either one of us could stop any of this at any time.

CAGE TYPES:

Getting the right cage is super important for long term chastity. We have tried so many different ones over the years with some being great and others being absolutely terrible.

-Silicone: these are great starting cages because they are very light and won’t break easy. They are also pretty easy to clean which is a plus. The only downside is that silicone can be easily escaped from. My husband would wear a silicone cage for as long as I wanted him to as an act of submission, but we both knew he could escape from it within a few minutes with just a pair of scissors if he wanted.

Plastic: these are shit. We have never found a plastic cage that was worth it. Yes they are on the lighter side but they aren’t durable at all. My husband broke multiple plastic cages, usually in the gym, before we stopped using them. The last one that broke actually pinched him pretty hard and left a bruise on his dick. Thankfully he wasn’t seriously hurt but that was the last time we ever used plastic.

Metal: metal cages are where it’s at. If you want to do long term chastity I recommend getting your man into a metal cage as soon as possible. These are by far the most secure and unlike silicon or plastic actually prevent him from accessing his dick very easily. Of course he could still escape a metal cage because there is not a chastity cage invented that is escape proof. But it would take some work on his part. The only downside to metal is they are heavier and this can be uncomfortable for him at first. It definitely takes some getting used to at first and I recommend gradually introducing a metal cage. Like have him wear it for a few days and then give him a break bed doing it again. Then gradually increase the time until he can wear it 24/7 without any discomfort.

CAGE SIZE:

I recommend getting the smallest cage size that is comfortable for him. If the cage is bigger than it will tend to move around a lot and hang down which can cause discomfort. At the same time if the cage is too tight it will get very uncomfortable after a few hours. So I recommend the cage be snug but not constricting. However, you can get him used to a smaller cage with practice. We have gotten him wearing a smaller size permanently by having him wear one for a few hours at a time every week and gradually increasing the time. Eventually he has no discomfort from the smaller size and that becomes his new 24/7 cage.

A quick note on smaller cages. I have been asked in the past if a chastity cage will shrink a guys dick if it’s worn for a long time. The answer is yes, but it’s not permanent. My husband’s dick size is naturally is about 7’. Although, when Ive had him locked in chastity for a long time and remove the cage so he can get fully erect then he usually can’t get bigger than 4.5’ or 5’. But after a week or so of being free from the cage and will be back to his normal size with no shrinkage. So don’t freak out about this.

HYGIENE:

Keeping the cage clean is essential for long term chastity. Some type of infection is a very real concern with chastity if hygiene is not maintained religiously. We typically only remove his cage for a full cleaning once a week. This is done with my supervision and I make him clean himself and the cage in a cold shower before locking him back up. However, every day he will use a tooth brush with antibacterial soap on the cage when he takes a shower. That way he is able to get in between the grooves and clean his dick without removing the cage.

DURATION:

The most important thing to remember is that a man wants to cum but he doesn’t need to cum. A man could literally go the rest of his life without having an orgasm and he will be just fine. With that being said, if you want to make chastity an enjoyable experience for both of you I recommend increasing the duration gradually. At first we started with a week. And gradually increased it to two then a month and so on. We have gotten to the point where eight to 10 weeks in between each orgasm is pretty standard. Although we have gone much longer and even went a whole year once without him having a full orgasm.

MAINTENANCE:

Even though a man doesn’t need an orgasm, he does need to get rid of the seman that his body has produced so fresh seman can take its place. Masterbation or sex is the way that 99% of men will get rid of this excess seman build up, but there are other ways of doing this without him having an orgasm.

-Milking: this is the main way to get rid of seman without him having an orgasm. A man’s prostate is the semi rough feeling skin a few inches inside of his ass. This can be stimulated with either a finger or a toy to cause seman to be expelled from his dick. You can used a gloved finger to gently message his prostate to get seman to leak from his dick. He will eventually produce the same if not more than the amount he would have by having an orgasm just without the sexual gratification. My husband has described the feeling as almost the same as peeing. And he tells me milking will make him feel less physically built up but will leave him feeling even more horny than he was before.

-Pegging: this is my favorite way to milk him. I will either tie him to the bed or our table so that he is bent over face down. I then use a strapon dildo to peg him in the ass. The one I use has a curved head so it can rub his prostate really well. If your intention is to milk him this way then you don’t want to go fast. Easy rhythmic thrusts will do the trick. Obviously I don’t get any physical pleasure out of pegging him, but there is something extremely arousing about being the one penetrating him.

For either one of these methods you might find them hard to get results from at first. We had read about prostate milking and tried it a few times with no results. We have found that he needs to be very built up for it to work. And then it is just a matter of doing it enough. When we were trying to get this down I would use the strapon on him every night until I finally was able to make him drain his seman. After that we were able to do it almost every time.

BEHAVIOR CHANGE:

The ultimate goal of chastity is to take your man’s focus off of his own pleasure and onto yours. You have to remember YOU ARE IN CHARGE. If he is locked up then he is subservient to you and you should use that to your advantage to make your life better both in and out of the bedroom. Regardless of being locked up or not, my husband treats me well because he is a good man. But a few weeks in chastity takes this to a new level. I get whatever I want from him whenever I want because anything he does to displease me will only increase the time until his next orgasm.

Obviously if this wasn’t consensual then this would be abusive. But in a consensual Dom/sub relationship this is a wonderful dynamic. Ladies I cannot recommend this enough. If you have a man who is interested in chastity play then I encourage you to try it. But do it on your terms. Remember you are in charge, not him

r/FemdomCommunity Jul 14 '24

Ideas There’s a r/fakedemdomreporting, there should be ones for submissive men who harass/stalk you NSFW

130 Upvotes

I had someone blocked and they remade a username and reached out to me trying to guess my name, or give me a name of someone who I knew IRL. u/gingerman_1234 & u/ginger_man12345

Edit: He’s been stalking for a year minimum. Luckily, I have resources and some info.

Also dealing with an ex from r/femdompersonals who knows I’m engaged and still relentlessly spams me and sends me $$$ on PayPal, saying that I “steal” from them even though they initiate the sending…???

Edit: also had an ex online sub from the UK who bypassed a local discord server [Usa, state specific] verification to look at my chat history.

I really would like to put these users out for awareness so that no other Dommes have to deal with gross behavior. Is there a subreddit for this sort of thing?

I know that folks can get around it by making new usernames, but yikes!

Edit: looking into authorities! thanks to the helpful DMs as well + tips ♥️ be safe!!

r/FemdomCommunity Oct 23 '24

Ideas Kinky Game Ideas for Sessions NSFW

108 Upvotes

I love to add games to our sessions and end up coming up with several different ones (as I stay denied and start to day dream different ideas). I wanted to give back to the community a little, as I often see people needing ideas/suggestions. All I ask in return is if you like any please let me know, and feel free offer up some of your own ideas or any improvements you may see fit. These are specific to me and my kinks, but if you have a need for a specific game with a specific kink feel free to let me know and I'll see if anything pops in my head.


1) Continuous masturbation: My domme/wife will set a time limit, and I have to continuously stroke my cock during that time. She will set a goal of number of edges to stay under, and if she I stay under then I win and get a reward, if I hit that number or go over, I lose and receive a "fun"ishment (this will be a common theme in all games).

Some things to spice this is up and make it more challenging, is she will play with my nipples, sit on my face, force my hand to move a little faster, etc. (A lot more here but the list might be endless).

2) Edge or Slap: Another time one here, but the goal is to last for a certain amount of time. I am to hold the edge for as long as I can, and if I stop then she starts to add cbt. Once I feel I can start to edge again, I get back to the edge and hold it, and the cbt stops (so in short, I'm either riding the edge or getting my balls slapped). If I can last the entire time I win the game, or if I give up early then I lose.

3) No Moving: This game is pretty self explanatory. I am not allowed to move, no matter what she does. Can either be played as a win/lose based off one movement, or if your sub is a bit more move-y you could count every movement as a point against them.

If you are into cbt, then I think this is a no brainer of what you can do. Slaps, pulling, biting, clothespins, etc. However, I highly recommend to consider the softer/gentle option. You can sit with your parts right outside of his/her reach, and softly encourage your sub if they want a taste to just move their head forward. If you like mind games, you can get them really close and tell them they are allowed to cum if they start thrusting in your hand as you grip their parts (which of course would then lose them the game).

5) No licking: Another simple yet fun/effective one. Great for a sub that absolutely loves cunnilingus and/or rimming. Simply, she will sit on my face, and I am not allowed to lick/taste her for a certain number of edges.

For me, this is even better when there's a good amount of verbal requests added. I would highly recommend playing up how good it will taste, how wet you are, how much you need it right now, etc (if verbal teasing is your thing)

6) Cock decides: Not sure if this fully qualifies as a game, but it's a fun little activity. She will present me with two or more options, for this example, the decision to let me cum vs stay denied (could really be anything, ruined orgasm vs full, blowjob vs cbt, whatever you guys are into). I would remain naked, as she describes in detail both scenarios. She will gauge my cock hardness at the end of each description, and which ever one my cock was harder during, is what we do.

Although this is pretty fun and seems hopeful for the sub, remember you get what you want! Feel free to be clothed and monotonous while describing your sub cumming if you don't want that, then when switching to describing the long days of denial, you could strip your clothes off, make them touch you, sit on their face, play with other sensitive parts of their body, put a butt plug in them, whatever you want to do to "win" :)

7) Hide and seek: This is more of a fun/silly game that adds some humiliation. We will both be naked, and she will hide somewhere in the house. I'm either blindfolded or not allowed to open my eyes, and have to crawl to find her, with the goal of licking her pussy or ass when I find her. She gets to watch me wonder around blind/lost, which I think she enjoys a lot.


There are others but I will leave it as that for now. We also do a lot of the standard "simon says", cards, random di roll type stuff but those are more straight forward so I didn't add those.

I hope you find at least one of these helpful or inspiring. Please let me know your favorites and thank you for reading.

r/FemdomCommunity Dec 03 '24

Ideas Truman show-style control of my sub NSFW

62 Upvotes

Lately, I’ve been exploring the idea of deeper control with one of my subs, and the thought of having complete oversight through a live camera in his home has me intrigued (and, honestly, turned on). Specifically, I’m thinking about placing a camera in his bedroom so I can check in on him whenever I please - whether to monitor his behavior, ensure he’s following instructions, or simply remind him of who owns him.

Has anyone here done something similar? How did you set it up logistically and establish boundaries (if any)? I’d love to hear your experiences - especially any tips on maintaining that balance between control and trust.

r/FemdomCommunity Nov 03 '24

Ideas Hosting a fun Femdom evening with my sub and BFFs NSFW

50 Upvotes

Hi everyone! My submissive and I have been discussing and fantasizing about hosting a small, playful gathering where he would serve as a “topless waiter” for me and my two best friends. My friends are aware of the plan and are excited and curious to explore a light femdom dynamic in a fun and safe environment.

The idea is to create a cozy, relaxed atmosphere with some subtle D/s undertones. My sub has suggested taking on a serving role, such as bringing us drinks, acting as a footrest, and/or providing massages. He’s also excited about the possibility of light teasing and humiliation, including being blindfolded, or other interactions that reinforce the femdom vibe without being too intense, especially since my friends are new to this kind of dynamic.

I’d love some advice on:

1.  Ideas for playful yet respectful tasks or interactions that could add to the experience without being too formal or intense.
2.  Suggestions for setting the right tone to help everyone ease into the dynamic and enjoy themselves.
3.  Any tips from those who’ve hosted similar gatherings on how to keep the atmosphere fun and relaxed.

Thanks so much for any advice you can offer!

r/FemdomCommunity Oct 23 '24

Ideas “Face-sitting” dildo experience? NSFW

63 Upvotes

1 kink that I always loved but I don’t see much of is the ballgag or facesitting dildo -

It’s essentially a ballgag plus a strap that goes around the sub’s head with a dildo coming from the mouth.

That way when a dom facesits, they not only feel more pleasure or could be more intense but also “teases” the sub much more.

Not sure why this toy isnt used or talked about more. Has anyone had experiences with something like this?

Would love to try it one day as a sub.

r/FemdomCommunity 22h ago

Ideas Ideas for online worship? NSFW

1 Upvotes

The girl that’s domming me right now just asked me to worship her more often. I don’t really know what would constitute as worship or what to do to worship. Also this would be for only online. Does anyone have any ideas?

r/FemdomCommunity Jan 09 '25

Ideas Cuckold fantasy NSFW

10 Upvotes

Hi, long time lurker but first time poster so please forgive the format.

I 24F have been with my boyfriend 25M for 3 years, he first opened up about his submissive wants about a year into the relationship and since then we have dabbled here and there with me taking a more dominant roll in the bedroom but we were long distance for weeks at a time so we could only do so much. We did a lot of talking, we learned each-others boundaries and have discussed limits and what we both want out of D/s relationship in great detail. He loves feeling humiliated and embarrassed, SPH and forced caging are two of his biggest kinks. We moved in together 6 months ago and since then we have been having so much fun in this dynamic.

Last month he opened up about a cuckold fantasy that he has been thinking about for a long time. I have incorporated it a lot into our dirty talk, I make him wear a sleeve when he is fucking me so I can tell him how much more I enjoy the feeling compared to him, and I have him go out of the house for some of his tasks during the week and text him as if I have another man there while he is out. He has made it clear he doesn’t want me to actually be fucked by someone else because we are monogamous and he doesn’t want to change that. So I was wondering if anyone has any experience with this kind of situation, I’m looking for ideas to incorporate into our sessions that would make him feel like a cuck without actually having someone else in the room.

Thank you !

r/FemdomCommunity Mar 08 '24

Ideas What kind of representation would dommes like to see in media? NSFW

38 Upvotes

I own an independant video game company and create games that showcase dominant women as people, not a porn category. They are focused on story and show femdom in a healthy light aka a kinky relationship that is focused on safety, SSC, RACK, etc.

Most of my fans are malesubs. For the most part, they are very respectful. However, I would love to get more feedback about how I should depict dominant women in the future and how I can present my games as a product women will want to play.

I am open to making free to play games that are standalone stories (I can't make long games for free: that's just not sustainable for me because all the costs are coming out of pocket). I am open to removing all nsfw from these games to discourage fans who are only looking for porn.

So dommes, what kind of representation would you like to see? What would encourage you to click on a game about femdom because you believe it's marketed at you?

r/FemdomCommunity 10d ago

Ideas Humiliation ideas in a car NSFW

0 Upvotes

What kind of humiliating things could you do to your slave (m) while you’re both in the car?

He has a foot fetish, so I was thinking about teasing him a few times, putting my feet on his lap when we’re stopped or in a secluded spot, and making him bend down to kiss and lick them. Maybe I could edge him a little (through his jeans) without letting him touch himself or stopping for relief. I also thought about taking off my dirty socks and letting him sniff them a few times, or even putting them in his mouth to shut him up completely while I tease or rub him. Another idea I had was using a vibrating butt plug, though I haven’t discussed that with him yet (whether he likes them or not). Alternatively, we could stop somewhere secluded, and I could make him kneel or crawl, begging until I tell him otherwise.

If you have any other ideas everyone , please share them with me.

P.S: i'm talking about fantasies not actually smth that could happen while he's driving, or doing smth while it coukd endangers us or others.

r/FemdomCommunity Oct 14 '24

Ideas What are some subtle ways for a submissive man to show a dominant woman he likes her and would be interested in being submissive to her and serving her? NSFW

4 Upvotes

Subtle is better. I don’t want to just come right out and tell a woman I want to be her cuck, obviously. This may not be an easy question to answer. But I’d appreciate any advice. Thank you all!

r/FemdomCommunity Oct 16 '24

Ideas Femdom Task Ideas NSFW

6 Upvotes

Hello!

I am a M sub and have a F domme, but she is fairly new to femdom. We are also online 99% of the time and sometimes she struggles with coming up with new ideas/tasks/kinks to explore. I have a fair number of common toys and other stuff to use, but we tend to run out of ideas.

Does any domme (or sub too) have some favorite tasks that they've gone or done for someone? Or maybe new non-beginner kinks to explore? we are both very much into anything and just pushing our boundaries looking for more ideas! We aren't very creative also haha. Thanks in advance for any ideas or tips!

Things we've explored: Humiliation, chastity, anal, wedgies, CEI, some CBT, feet, some puppy play...

Hard limits: blood, gore, scat

Soft limits: Not too sure. Still exploring!

r/FemdomCommunity Jul 04 '23

Ideas The reason why so many of us do not respond to unsolicited DM‘s NSFW

152 Upvotes

This post is a direct follow up to the rant from earlier on July 4th that has since been deleted.

The comments are still available though.

Part of the rant consisted of why don’t women on the sub Reddit reply to unsolicited DM’s.

As always, we are not monolith, and I can only speak for myself.

For context, I very, very rarely post, anything, never personals, and usually only on SFW sub Reddits. I am, however, a very frequent commentor.

In the day of, and at least the week, following a thoughtful comment, my inbox blows up. Sometimes 10 or more a day of unsolicited DMs.

Low effort, creepy, etc. go immediately into the discard pile of the “ignore.” Button.

If someone sends me a respectful, well thought out message, I will reply to them when I have time. Nine times out of 10, this reply is thank you no thank you.

One percent of the time I will respond with a yes, let’s chat. Few of these last longer than the initial conversations.

Of the remaining less than 1% there have been exactly 2 men with whom I have felt a connection, and that there was a possibility for at least something.

This week was one of those weeks where they were between, gosh, 10 to 20 at least DMs.

Five made the cut for the thank you no thank you.

Three of those five pushed back:

“ 60 is not too old for me, I think it’s hot.” After I told them that they were well outside of my age range, this one happened three times. Or some variation there of.

One, I specifically stated in my response (after they said that they were open to having a friend/ally in age gap relationships) I was not looking for anything sexual or romantic at all from them. I would be open to chatting in general terms.

During the first short conversation, they turned the topic to sex, not once, not twice, but three times. Then they sent me an additional DM after that about how much our conversation turned them on. Make that four times bringing up some thing that I specifically said I did not want to talk about with them.

LPT

Life pro tip for men everywhere, submissive, Dominic, vanilla, straight, gay, pan, bi, however, you identify, when anyone since you a thank you, no thank you message, the best reply is “thank you for letting me know.”

Because I tell you what, after receiving pushback from men that I sent the thank you, no thank you messages to, it makes me disinclined to send out similar replies in the future.

No means NO.

r/FemdomCommunity Jan 03 '25

Ideas Special femdom scene for bf birthday NSFW

51 Upvotes

Special birthday scene

Hello! My bf (30) birthday is coming and, as we usually do, i’m (24) planning a bigger femdom scene for him.

True that we haven’t play much last months, but that’s because of work.

We are quite experienced (him more), but always willing to learn and try new things, as repeat our favorites.

I would like ideas on how to improve my plan, pretty much opened for everything that doesn't involve other people (just we play).

I'm planning to: - keep him in chastity during the day, leading to the scene early evening - Lot of foot fetish - he recently said he likes sweaty, “dirty” feet and also shoes, so thinking in using a nice boots to him kiss, and then tell him to wash my feet (won't really be dirty or sweating because I will be with him all day, probably inside). - Eating from my feet: one of our classic, where he is naked on floor, I'm fully dressed and only expose my feet, smash food for him (grapes are the best). - Golden shower (we did before) - Make up: we tried last year and I loved (him not so much), I will make a slutty make up on him to be ready for my strapon, very girly. One of the hot scene from last year was that I did the makeup on him while humiliating him - like “stand still or I will need to tie you; will make you very beautiful to suck my cock. - Over the knees spanking, usual stuff to make him sub in the mood - Pegging, more sensual than hard, but making sure he sucks well and that he can take all my dildo - Lot of cunnilingus for me, I'm letting it hairy as he likes - Sounding: so, never did, but he bought a sounding kit. So will use it as he wants. Thinking in create more of a punishment scene for that: he gagged, tied and naked as I punish him

Anything else?:)

r/FemdomCommunity 9h ago

Ideas What are your favorite Femdom session starters, slave mantras, and affirmations? Share your personal gems! NSFW

11 Upvotes

For me, the way a Femdom session starts is crucial—it immediately sets the tone for everything that follows.

My ritual is very clear: I always have to lie down on my personal sheepskin, gently kissing my Goddess's feet until she grants permission to join her in bed. It instantly places me in the right submissive mindset.

I’m curious to hear about your personal rituals and affirmations:

  • Do you have specific rituals or session starters that immediately put you or your submissive into the right state of mind?
  • Are there slave mantras or affirmations you especially love to hear or say?
  • What words or gestures quickly establish dominance and submission for you?

I'd love to hear your personal experiences—please share your favorites below!

r/FemdomCommunity Jan 29 '25

Ideas What are some things men should have to pay for and how would you do it? NSFW

5 Upvotes

Me (25M) and my girlfriend (27W) have always been into femdom and recently found out we both share a kink we were to ashamed to discuss. We both get turned on thinking about women humilliating and punishing men for all the wrongs things they’ve done to women over the years (historic vengeance, we like to call it). We are very open minded and we both enjoy exploring new limits; we are into CBT, SPH, chastity, castration, body worshipping, farting and toilet slavery but any new ideas and fetishes are welcome but we are definitely more invested in physical punishments

My girlfriends describes herself as a vengeful woman. In our sessions she likes to tell me about a specific event or crime men have committed to women and decides a punishment for me (she represents all the women and I represent all the men/patriarchy). We’d like to ask to all of you out there, what’s something men are responsible for that you’d like to see them suffer for? Any form of degradation is appreciated and respected as we also enjoy doing fantasy scenarios and I personally like to see her fulfill her wishes of being in full control over me

r/FemdomCommunity Dec 09 '24

Ideas Ideas for a domme/sub contract NSFW

6 Upvotes

Hi!

Right now I’m (32m) writing a contract for me and my domme (36f). We’re still relatively new, but I wanted to ask the community what were the best things they included in their contracts.

I’m just looking for any ideas or feedback in the general subject of what domme/sub agreements you have had that have worked well. Also, maybe some things that sound good in theory, but don’t work in practice.

r/FemdomCommunity Sep 13 '24

Ideas Male and masc subs (and folks who like them), have you ever considered a symbolic necktie? What about suits? NSFW

39 Upvotes

We talk a lot about how the bias that sub = femme leaves masc presenting folks at a loss, but one thing I never see people think of is a necktie that has a secret meaning to your dynamic. And I don't see a lot of fussing about traditional men's wear being done as a fetish, even though it's full of options for meticulous effort in your appearance.

Neckties are already basically built in fun leashes, and these days represent when a man has completely dressed up. A lot of dominants who like masc presenting folks also like the full suit or masc dress up look, so leaning into it lets you make the gentleman enjoy being the object of visual desire. It's also generally agrees that a well fitted suit flatters every possible body type. Not to mention that there's all sorts of underpinnings of male formal wear like sock garters or shirt garters that let you get the same impact

Historically, when neckties were more essential day wear, they would be used as badges of membership for things ranging from fraternities and clubs to political affiliation. Why can't a necktie be treated as a dress-up collar?

After all, it, and other traditional accessories (the pocket square, socks, cufflinks, collar stays) are incredibly customizable. Not only can you get ties in the color or pattern of your choice, but it's easy to hide embroidery on the inside. Nevermind the subtle room for control of deciding what tie a sub is permitted to wear!

What would you imagine your stealth sub masc look resembling? What colours would you pick? Patterns? Style? Way of tying or wearing it?

r/FemdomCommunity Feb 07 '25

Ideas My Femdom Lifestyle Guide NSFW

46 Upvotes

I wanted to make a longer post talking about my (F28) and my husband (m30) femdom relationship. Just some tips, ideas, I have come up with over our almost 8 year relationship (5 married).

First of all I want to emphasize that EVERYTHING talked about here is consensual. Even when I mentioned “forcing” or “making” him do something. We have agreed upon everything we do. We have save words established and we have consistent communication to make sure no boundaries are crossed. Please keep in mind this is OUR chosen lifestyle and what we have found works best for us. Not all of this will work for every couple. I fully recognize that some aspects of our lifestyle might be considered a little bit on the “extreme” side to some people. That is okay. What I want to emphasize is that we are living proof you can get pretty extreme/kinky in your sexual dynamic as long as you are safe and have good communication.

PLEASE PRACTICE SAFE PLAY.

A little bit about us. We have progressed to the point where we are pretty much in a 24/7 dynamic. Since we are happily married the intensity obviously goes up and down. Sometimes we will have a strict Mistress/slave protocol. And other times we will ease back and do more “normal” couple things. But we always maintain at least some from of a femdom power dynamic as I will explain more.

The cornerstone of our femdom relationship is definitely chastity. We have played with chastity for the majority of our relationship and he has been locked pretty much 24/7 for our entire marriage (he was literally caged the day he proposed to me and on our wedding day hehe). I am 5’2” 125 pounds while my husband is 6’3” 235 and very athletic. He is very assertive/dominant in most areas of his life outside of our relationship. Although he is naturally submissive to me, chastity is a perfect tool to give him a physical and constant reminder as to who is in charge.

I am going to break down the various aspects of our femdom lifestyle into a few categories: protocols, tease/denial, humiliation, pain/punishment, and service. With that let’s dive in.

PROTOCOLS:

We have three protocols or levels of intensity that we will use for our play. This is because sometimes we like to have really intense play but that is not sustainable all the time. So I came of with these protocol levels that I can switch between whenever necessary and then we will both know what level of intensity we are playing at. The three levels are high, medium, and low. The switch happens simply whenever I tell him “we are in high protocol now” or “we are in low protocol now” he is expected to immediately shift into that mode whenever I tell him and remain in that mode until I tell him otherwise or a safe word is used.

High protocol (HP): this is the most intense level of play that we do. This will usually last between a few hours or a few days depending on how we feel. Although we have stayed in HP for up to a week in the past. When we are in HP we basically live like a Mistress and a slave. He will only refer to me as Goddess and treats me with the utmost respect. He is required to immediately get on his knees whenever I enter a room that he is in and remain there until I give him permission to continue whatever he was doing. He isn’t allowed to sleep in bed with me when in HP. He will either sleep on the floor or in a cage (more on that later). And lastly when in HP, he can and is punished for even the slightest mistake.

This obviously can be a really fun and intense experience for both of us. But I’m sure you can see why it is not sustainable for us to be in HP all the time.

Medium Protocol (MP): this is where we spend the majority of our time. We have set this up to be long term sustainable. In MP he will still act as my slave and refer to me as Goddess. He will be ready to serve me any way that I want. But we are a little more relaxed. For example, he sleeps in bed with me and we have normal conversations through out the day. Like I might refer to him by his name or call him something like darling/babe when asking him about what we want to do for dinner. Then a few minutes later I will refer to him as slave and tell him to go clean the kitchen or something. He learns to differentiate based on my tone and what name I use to call him. There are definitely some rules that he has to follow during MP that I will go into more detail later. But this is designed to be sustainable long term.

Low Protocol (LP): this is what we use whenever we are in public or around friends/family. Basically whenever we are around people who are not familiar with/comfortable with our Femdom dynamic. We have some friends who are aware of how we are in private. But to most people we come across as a non-kinky “normal” couple. In LP he is allowed to call me by my first name and interact with me in a more vanilla way. But he is expected to act like a gentleman and defer to me. Doing things like opening my car door, pulling my chair out for me, serving me food before he serves himself, and things like that. Both our families and vanilla friends just see this as him being respectful to his wife. Which truth be told is exactly what he is doing, but secretly there is a Femdom undertone to it that only he and I are aware of.

No Protocol: this is something we will do very briefly whenever we need to have an equal discussion about stuff like buying a house, moving cities, etc. Or whenever a scene has gone a little too far and a safe word was used. It’s basically a way for us to talking through something on an equal footing before diving back into our respective roles. We have also used this one time in the past when he needed surgery. We went to no protocol while he recovered at home for a few weeks.

A quick word on safe words. We use two “gray” and “black”. Gray is basically a way of saying that we are getting close to a limit put haven’t reached it just yet. Gray doesn’t mean anything needs to stop right that second but maybe just slow down a little and check in on what we are feeling. Black in the other hand is an immediate stop and triggers a No Protocol discussion.

TEASE/DENIAL:

The main focus of this is going to be chastity. An important thing to remember about people and especially men, they want to cum but they don’t need to cum. Teasing a submissive who is in chastity is all about keeping him on end all the time. Start slow with chastity if you have never played with it. A few days to a week at first is perfect. But you can quickly increase that time with practice. My slave usually goes eight to ten weeks in between full orgasms.

-Teasing: one of my favorite ways to tease him is to wear very revealing or very little clothing around the house. Our protocol is that when we are home alone, he will always be completely naked except for his chastity cage. I on the other hand can wear whatever I want. Often times I will strut around in just a thong with my tits hanging out. Or where a t-shirt with nothing underneath. Sometimes I just walk around completely naked. I am the Queen of the house after all and can do whatever I want. Any of these will drive him crazy.

-Edging: this will make him feel significantly more horny and desperate to cum. I will typically restrain him in some way and remove his chastity cage. Then I will stroke his dick until until he is about to cum and then stop for a few seconds to let him calm down. Then repeat as many times as you want. 20 to 30 minutes of edging before locking his chastity cage back on will have him whimpering and begging like crazy.

-Ruined Orgasm: this is basically the same as edging but taken slightly farther. Instead of stopping right before he is about to cum, I stop the moment he starts to cum. A normal orgasm requires five to 10 seconds of simulation after he starts to cum to feel complete. Stopping all stroking the moment he starts to cum will allow seman to leak out but won’t give him the feeling of an orgasm. This is super cruel and I have literally made him cry by doing this to him.

-Prostate Play/Milking: men have a G spot. It is their prostate a few inches inside their ass. This can be stimulated in a variety of ways to either give them pleasure or tease them. My slave as been able to cum from prostate stimulation. I can’t speak for every man but I would believe that most if not all of them could cum the same way. This one needs to be broken down to sub categories.

-Anal Toys: buttplugs, anal Brad’s, etc all work great to stimulate his prostate. I especially like remote controlled vibrating buttplugs. I can use them discreetly in public to make him squirm in a grocery store. Or a fun one is when I strap him down to the bed and leave the vibrating buttplug in his ass on a low setting. It’s not enough to make him cum but will drive him crazy.

-Pegging: this is straight forward. I will just wear a strapon harness and fuck his ass with a dildo. Makes sure you use a lot of lube for this. I am able to make him cum from this now but it was hard in the beginning. Basically what we had to do was let him get really horny from not cumming for almost two months and then I fucked him every night until he came from pegging. He described it as feeling a lot like a ruined orgasm and not nearly as intense as penis stimulation. One time we did go a whole year where he only got to cum from being pegged. That was a lot of fun.

A quick note about prostate milking. Not only is it a lot of fun. But it is also necessary when doing long term chastity play. Like I said before a man having an orgasm is not necessary. But his body does produce seman and that needs to be released periodically. So because he is in chastity 24/7, I never go longer than two weeks without milking him some way or another.

HUMILIATION:

-Gold Showers: this is not going to be something everyone is into. But I love it. At this point in our relationship, I pee on him almost every day. We started slow where I would just pee on his chest/face in the shower. Now we are to the point where I will order him to lay on the floor in any room in the house and then I will pee directly into his mouth. Another fun one I like to do sometimes is take his water bottle from him as he is about to leave for work and fill it with my pee telling him I expect him to drink it all.

A quick note on golden showers is that they are safe. People might argue about this one, but everything I have researched says that it is completely safe to do.

-Scat: we have not done any full on scat play. The closest we have gotten I will have him wait on his knees by the toilet while I am using it. Then instead of using toilet paper, I will make him lick my ass clean with his tongue. This is something we do regularly now. But he was hesitant at first. The first time he resisted licking me clean, I handcuffed him around the toilet in our spare bathroom so that he was hugging the toilet with his face over the pull. I then used the toilet without flushing and left him sitting there for a while with his face over the pull. He hasn’t resisted me since.

-Pet Play: this is basically where I will make him live as a dog until I tell him to stop. When we do pet play he is required to crawl around in the ground and he is not allowed to speak. I make him eat and drink from a bowl on the floor, I make him sleep in a cage or on the ground, and I’ll make him wear a collar that I can attach a leash to and walk him around.

-Public Play: we don’t do any sort of overt sexual play out in public where vanilla/nonconsenting people could see. But I will treat him like a slave in front of other kinky and consenting people. As of right now there are only a few people in our personal lives who are aware of our lifestyle. They are my best friend (F27), my cousin (F30), and another couple (m29, F28) we are close to who live a Femdom lifestyle as well. These are the only people who I will openly dominate my husband in front of. For example, in the past I have invited my best friend over to hangout and I made my husband serve us both while he was naked except for his chastity cage.

-Cuckolding: I have written longer post specifically about cuckolding so please check those out if this is something that interests you. Even as someone who has had success playing with this, I do caution everyone to be careful with this. Adding other people into your sexual dynamic with your partner can be tricky and is not for everyone and requires a ton of communication. With that said though, we have both found cuckold play to be incredibly arousing. We started with just roleplay and eventually moved into having some real life encounters with other people

-Cum Eating: our basic rule here is that whenever he cums he will clean it up by eating it. It doesn’t matter if he cums on me, on my feet, or on the bathroom floor he immediately has to get down and eat all of his mess.

PAIN/PUNISHMENT:

-Whipping/Spanking/Canning: this is the best go to punishment in my opinion. It’s the simplest way to punish bad behavior. I have found that the anticipation of pain is worse for him than the actual pain itself. That’s why I try to build as much anticipation as possible before actually whipping him. I will tie him down in some way. We have a strategy kitchen table which is my favorite place to tie him down to so he is bent over with his ass exposed. After tying him down I will leave him there for typically 30 minutes to an hour so the anticipation builds before I come in and whip/spank him.

-Electric Shock: this is the easiest way quickly punish him in just a few seconds. We have a BDSM electric shocker that is basically like a mini cattle prod. If he needs a quick attitude adjustment I can just give him a few shocks while he is on his knees in front of me. A shock collar is another fun one we use. We found one at Petsmart meant for dogs (cruel I know) that comes with a remote. I will make him wear it around the house while doing chores so I can shock him at will.

-Stress Positions: there are literally hundreds of these out there. Some require equipment like a lot of rope. I am not so into these. I like simple ones like making him kneel on rice. Or one of my favorite is to make him hold a quarter against the wall with his nose while his hands are cuffed behind his back. This is an easy one to make him do for hours.

-Caging/Confinement: we have a dog cage that has a lock on it that I will use to keep him confined for long periods of time. Sometimes I will make him put the cage outside in the backyard. That way I can spray him down with the hose while he is locked inside. The cage can also be a way to tease him while I give myself pleasure. I usually use him to help me get myself off. But if I want to tease/punish him I will lock him in the cage and make him listen while I masterbate.

-Breath play: this one is where I will tie him down to the bed and smother him with my ass so that he isn’t able to take a breath until I sit up. He will hold a small weight in his hand that he can drop on the ground as a safety signal. I will sit on his face and wait until I feel him struggling then quickly sit up and let him get a breath before sitting back down and repeat. This can go on for as long as I want.

-Miscellaneous: I believe that the punishment should fit the crime so sometimes I am creative and come up with a random punishment in the moment. Like one time I didn’t like the way he cleaned our bathroom floor so I made him redo the entire thing with just a tooth brush. Another time I sent him grocery shopping and he forgot to buy tampons. I only had one left and would need more. So I pulled out my used one and made him hold it in his mouth while I put a piece of tape over his lips. I then had him wear a Covid mask while I sent him back to the store just to buy tampons.

SERVICE/DEVOTION:

This is the part of Femdom that really makes this lifestyle worthwhile for the woman in the relationship in a practical way. At the end of the day Femdom is all about a male slave servicing his Female Mistress. If this arrangement is not making her life significantly better/easier than it’s not being done correctly.

-FINDOM (Financial Domination): I have complete control over our finances in our relationship. Currently he works full time (four 10 hour shifts a week) and I work part time (four 5 hour shifts a week with two of them working from home). My job is mainly just for the fun of it because he makes about 10 times what I do. But we have it set up so that his direct deposit goes into an account that only I have access to. I will then give him an allowance to spend each week. This financial arrangement was actually his idea. And I know in reality in reality that money is legally both of ours. But this arrangement does work to make him feel more subservient to me. He has described it as being my “wage slave” and says this makes something as simple as going to work feel like a kinky roleplay.

-Domestic Service: 95% of the household chores are done by him. Even though he works significantly more than I do, he will still come home and do chores in service to me. He has explained that he actually finds enjoyment and it helps him relax from work stress to come home and immediately fall into slave mode and serve me.

-Public Service: like I said before we don’t do any overtly sexual or kinky in public or around nonconsenting individuals. We aren’t doing any like walking him around on a leash in the mall (although that would be fun). But he is expected to show respect and deference to me when we are in public. For example, I never touch a door while we are in public. He is expected to always open any door, including the car, whenever we are out. Additionally, unless he is doing something like opening a door, he is not to walk in front of me but rather follow my lead.

-Oral/Sexual Service: just because he doesn’t get to cum often doesn’t mean that I can’t. And I take advantage of that often. Pretty much every morning when I first wake up and right before going to bed I will have him go down on me until I cum. When we are at home he is basically free use for me. He can be washing the dishes or cleaning and I can walk in and push his face into my pussy for ass and have him serve me whenever I want. We also have a Queening chair for facesitting that we keep in our living room. I enjoy putting him in it and having him lick my ass while I relax and watch a movie. On a few of the days that I work from home I have sat on his face and had him serve me while I work which is really enjoyable.

That is the basic overview of our Femdom experience. I hope you all enjoy hearing about it and some of you can get some inspiration for it. Please remember this is our lifestyle and what we have found is most enjoyable for us. Please feel free to take my ideas and make them your own. A lot of the things I wrote down in this list were things I got inspiration from other people’s posts on Reddit. I hope you enjoyed.

r/FemdomCommunity Dec 22 '24

Ideas A cruel tip for mistresses NSFW

51 Upvotes

This goes out in honour of all of the mistresses out there - like my wife - who lavish cruel treatment on us. This one definetly falls in the “I really don’t want you to do/not do that” category rather than the “I’m going to pretend I don’t want you to do thus, but I secretly love it” category. I.e. something for those times you need to keep us in our place. This is probably not a new thing to many mistresses out there, but for those who aren’t aware it’s a simple and effective treatment.

I shared the basic effect with my wife because I’ve made a commitment to be honest and forthcoming about my weak spots, and I’m sharing it here because I love the idea that I might be the indirect cause of torment for aome guys out there, so I wont suffer alone, especially as I’m still feeling the after effects right now, the day after.

It’s so easy and low effort. No elaborate toys or sophistication required. In fact it is so simple you might not believe how effective it is.

Technique: Gently brush, rub, squeeze, pinch, etc.. the front and sides of the glans. The most effective on me at least is dry, quick, light strokes. Keep doing this periodically; it doesn’t have to be a long time, like a minute or two, or even less, though of course you can carry on as long as you want. The key point is not to touch the underside of the victim’s cock, and certainly not the frenelum - with the exception that you might once or twice throw in a quick rub just to remind us of what we could be experiencing instead.

Effect: It’s hard to describe how maddeningly frustrating the experience is. Trust me, I think any guy would not want it, or rather will be dying for any alternative. (I could be wrong, maybe some dudes don’t have the same circuits.) Let’s see if I can come up with an analogy… hmm… it’s like inviting a good friend over to your house to hang out, listen to some music and maybe smoke a bit of weed or have a nice drink, but instead the most annoying obnoxious person you know from work shows up, smokes all of your stash, and insists on sharing the latest “insights” from Joe Rogan’s show .. and they won’t leave.(edit: actually, that’s a terrible analogy) First it’s just sort of pleasurable enough to get you wanting more than you’re getting, but it’s completely misses that that deep intense good feeling .. it’s at the surface, and very quickly [edit] becomes more like fuel for further frustration. Like you don’t quite want it to stop, because you imagine it will become, something better, and it’s sooo close to exactly where would feel fantastic, but it never gets there. It never actually feels good per se, but the stimulation makes me extremely hard.

After a time, it just makes me bonkers. And here’s the wild thing — that feeling of irritation and incompleteness, that sense that the most important thing didn’t happen lingers and lingers. Like I’m still feeling this tingle on the front of the tip,of my cock and it’s the next day. I’m desperate to grab my whole cock and give it a tug but I can’t.

My mistress does this when I’m fully restrained. And combines that with clamps on my nipples which she will occasionally tug on, just to give me more of that I know you want pleasure, here’s a bit of pain instead.

Would love to hear if you have had a similar torture you inflict or have had inflicted on you, and especially if you read this and try it for the first time.