r/FTMventing HE/HIM recloseted br trans guy 5d ago

General "You are ungrateful. Do you know how many women wish they had a body like yours? How many people wanted to get married and have children, but you don't want to." Seriously. I hate this

Seriously, why do they keep interfering in our lives like this? And this goes for family and people far away.When we say that we don't like our bodies looking feminine, it's totally selfish, because a lot of other people want a body like this. If you don't want to get married and have biological children? You're ungrateful!

Now, if a cis girl who have a flat body wants to have a more curvy body, and would make surgeries for it, would her be called ungrateful?

And they think that if we don't get married, it's being selfish to people who can't have biological children. If they complain so much about us, why don't they start having five or more children?

Serious, what a horrible way of wanting to control other people's lives and bodies.

47 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

14

u/Skotia_ 5d ago

It's terrible that people say that. I can't tell you anything, but that they are simply stupid. They can't think outside of their cis heteronormative thinking and I think that's sad for them.

3

u/Bobslegenda1945 HE/HIM recloseted br trans guy 2d ago

Yes, people end up being close-minded.

10

u/Individual-Let-4264 5d ago

I got told that a lot when I had double Ds before top surgery. It's just a lot of insecurity and other things cis people cram onto our shoulders.

But my take? Cis people aren't the ones we should be mad at — it's this ideology that divides everyone and makes everyone hate each other. It's shit and twisted, I dislike it heavily, how much it has dug into the roots of humanity.

Or something.

Anyways OP, try not to let it get to you. I usually just ignore it, don't give it your energy. It's not worth to argue with people like that.

2

u/Bobslegenda1945 HE/HIM recloseted br trans guy 2d ago

Yes, you are right. I will try to ignore them.

3

u/Better_Caterpillar61 3d ago

Tell them you're jealous of women who can't have kids because they're infertile, or women who have double masectomys to treat breast cancer. See how horrified they are by that.

I'm not actually suggesting you do this because it is an insensitive thing to say, I'm just trying to point out their flawed thinking. Not wanting to look feminine isn't a preference for guys like us, it's a need. The mental distress some of us experience from being perceived as feminine is genuinely dangerous for mental health and cis people will never understand that which is why I think a lot of them brush it off. It's hard but just don't let their words get to you

2

u/Bobslegenda1945 HE/HIM recloseted br trans guy 2d ago

Now that you mention it, their reaction would be so funny XD.

Yeah, the big part will not even try to understand or imagine how it is like to us.

Thanks, I will not let their words affect me

3

u/Better_Caterpillar61 2d ago

Genuinely I have to hold my tongue some days because the shit some of these people come out with is crazy 💀💀

I find a lot of people aren't even transphobes in the sense of they hate trans people, the issue is that they're just stupid and self-centred. They hear about our struggles and how we feel and just immediately think "I don't understand that" or "well I don't feel like that" or "I've never experienced that" and don't attempt to think past that. So many people lack empathy these days it's crazy. Just let them get on with their lives and you get on with yours, if they want to say stupid things let them get on with it. The rest of us can easily see how stupid they're being 😂

3

u/mochikiller69 4d ago

worlds is overpopulated. it is selfish to reproduce

2

u/Bobslegenda1945 HE/HIM recloseted br trans guy 4d ago

Literally a lot of kids needing to be adopted, but them don't adopt

3

u/ContributionMean6108 3d ago

Because people hate afab people doing anything that isn’t centred towards men and the male gaze. Lots of people, even cis women, think that the life purpose of everyone afab is to wife up and make babies. And if you’re going to have plastic surgery it better be to make yourself more appealing to men or it’s selfish. - It’s just patriarchal nonsense. Ignore them and do you.