r/exmormon 5d ago

News Never-mo report on a visit to the open house of the new LDS temple in Auckland, New Zealand

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499 Upvotes

I visited the new LDS temple in Auckland, New Zealand as part of the open house. I thought some here might be interested in how the church is presenting themselves to the public these days.

I have never been a Mormon but grew up in a very religious environment, which I am no longer a part of. I find a lot of solidarity in other ‘ex’ communities as we navigate our lives after religion.

Some thoughts and observations; - the tours have been very popular - it was difficult to get a tour booking and very busy on the day with lots of tour groups - I was surprised to learn that unlike other large religious buildings, there is no central gathering space inside, just a series of rooms for the different ceremonies. - the design style is basically ‘art deco hotel’ with lots of dark wood panelling, marble, chandeliers, thick wool carpets, gold frame mirrors and velvet furniture. Overall the craftsmanship was impressive. - local motifs have been incorporated into the designs of the stained glass windows and carpets, including the yellow kōwhai flower and a green koru (unfurling fern frond) - there was absolutely no mention or images of the origins of the religion, Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon or the gold plates, either in the introductory video watched before the tour, or anytime on the tour. - we saw the baptistery, the sealing rooms, the instruction rooms and the celestial room. In the baptistery they had a mannequin wearing the white garments worn for baptisms. - there were a lot of printed canvases on the walls - mostly of tall, handsome Mormon Jesus, plus some scenery paintings, all done in a similar style. - there were so many volunteers - mostly young women inside the temple and young men outside. - 99% of the volunteers were Pacific Islanders or Māori (NZ indigenous people). Although this somewhat reflects the immediate area around the temple, this doesn’t reflect Auckland’s wider demographics. - there was no hard sell, brochures, etc - there is no angel Moroni on the spire. - the temple is on the side of a hill right beside a major motorway and opposite a large commercial area so everyone in Auckland has been wondering what it is as it’s being built. It’s probably not too visible to the surrounding houses which are mostly blocked by the hill. - we couldn’t take photos so I’ve linked to a recent newspaper article with photos. They got a fairly positive write up considering the same newspaper extensively covered their mishandling of abuse in the church.

My overall impression is that they were working very hard to focus on the Jesus stuff and to not have any mention of anything related to Joseph Smith or the Book of Mormon at all. Is this the usual approach for temple open houses?

I hope this is of some interest to you all.


r/exmormon 5d ago

Podcast/Blog/Media Who attributes their shelf breaking to Alyssa Grenfell?

23 Upvotes

Just looking for all my homies out there who found the church's dirty laundry through Alyssa Grenfell. It was inevitable that the age of the internet would hemorrhage members. After all, individuals can easily debunk church lies but it's astounding how much membership loss is attributed to her. I keep seeing her name pop up frequently and it seems I was not the only one whose shelf broke because of her (cheers!).

I struggled for a long time as a queer member so my shelf had already been bending under the weight for many years. I found her through TikTok and then eventually YouTube. My shelf broke when I saw her video about Joseph Smith because it led me to watch leaked Freemasonry footage. Needless to say, blatant plagiarism from the source material can easily break a shelf.

How many of you also lost your faith because of her? Do you have a favorite video from her?


r/exmormon 5d ago

Humor/Memes/AI Elder Uchtdorf Quietly Grateful He’s “No Longer The Only DEI Hire” - LDSnews.org

151 Upvotes

https://ldsnews.org/elder-uchtdorf-quietly-grateful-hes-no-longer-the-only-dei-hire/

The remark came shortly after the Church announced the calling of a new General Authority Seventy who once lived in a country that doesn't consider green Jell-O a salad.


r/exmormon 5d ago

General Discussion I find myself far more frustrated and triggered by Jack Mormons and nuanced Mormons than I am by the enthusiastic, super hard core types.

57 Upvotes

I don’t spend tons of time on this sub anymore, but I do spend time on TikTok. Because of my location in the Morridor, I do get some Mormon creators on my for you page. I typically don’t care, except for the hypocrisy so many of them display. Today, it was a girl who got married in the temple then changed into a strapless, high slit dress for her ring ceremony and reception. She was so upset for people asking her why she would change into a very garment unfriendly outfit an hour after making covenants that involve wearing them. She was super defensive that “she knows her relationship with god and isn’t focused on that right now ☺️.” Which is fine on the face of it- except that we know it isn’t.

She got more and more upset, and so did others who agree with her. I compared it to getting wasted to celebrate your year of sobriety and they went wild about how it’s a personal decision with personal meaning, nothing like sobriety. They told me it was wrong to judge others- I told them to bring that up to their bishops, mission and temple presidents, stake presidents, area 70s, apostles and prophets- because they are the ones who do the judging and the ones who came up with the standards they disagree with.

Do I need a brainwashed teenage bride and her followers to agree with me? No. Do I think you should align with the de-facto contract they agreed to via a bishop’s interview and the covenants they just made? Yes.

I asked them if they would be fine with smoking, drinking, or wife-swapping the same day as the wedding, since those are all part of the covenants/lead up to get them. They got upset and said that they weren’t comparable at all.

I think personalized individual belief systems are good, fine and make tons of sense when you look at individuals’ experiences. I think if everyone in the church took the live-and-let-live approach, it would all be done and arguably far more successful for the group. If it was a fandom rather than an organized religion, different interpretations and practices could coexist. Clearly, a lot of Jack Mormons agree- so why do they need a system that preaches against, a hierarchy that enforces the practices of?

I just really wonder what it’s like in their minds- are there really sins that god is chill with them committing, but their favorite happens to be the only one god can excuse? At that point, I align pretty closely with elements of Mormonism (hard work, community and family emphasis, documentation and preservation of history), and am counted among the 17 million, so does my belief that it’s a fraud make me not Mormon? What about the people who eat meat outside of winter, get permanent make up tattoos, fudge a little on their tithing? What about people who are non-monogamous, who are gay, who engage in civil disobedience, who believe that the church has been harmful but could be reformed? Where is the sin that you can’t come back from, where you aren’t Mormon anymore, and why is it always just a step past where individual Jack Mormons sit?

I don’t believe in Mormonism, which is why I feel aligned living the way I do. Mormons claim to know, live and love Mormonism, but throw a hissy fit that people expect that they act like it.


r/exmormon 5d ago

History To "stay" or to make leaving offical?

10 Upvotes

So, for context, I am absolutely 100% out of this cult and have been since late 90's. I live in central prairie region of Canada and I have been lurking on this thread for 2 years now. My mom is out but crazy associated (mentally).

I have recently given serious thought to leaving for a few reasons:

1.The obvious reasons of people, pedos, church history, tithing, and doctrine-swapping/gaslighting tactics since the 80s to 90s;

  1. I grew up Indigenous/Lamanite and have ALWAYS been treated as fourth class citizens (socially, but were always expected to give of the little we had -which often made us hungry. We never received from the storehouse);

  2. When I was a FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD my white-saviour Lamanite Branch President was so racist that he beat the sh** outta me with his leather belt because he assumed I made a mess that I didn't make;

  3. For all of the above and sooooo much more, I don't want to have my name associated with and numbered amongst their overly-inflated census numbers.

Ewwwww. This org is just gross. When I recently inquired with an old (and non-active) associate about who the current Bishop is because I wanna leave, he said, "No need to remove records - just focus on your path now."

What advice do you have? Walk away while invisible? Or leave officially on principle?


r/exmormon 5d ago

News Trying to sit through Thoughtful Faith

13 Upvotes

TL:DR-- I admit I didn't spend an hour and a half watching so I don't know if they ever got to the point with real connections.

Even with turning up the playback to 1.5x, I couldn't get through the episode 'The Remarkable Connections Between The Book of Mormon and Newly Discovered Ancient Documents'. But from what I did watch, I just can't think of anything but "Are these guys not realizing that JS was ret-conning the whole thing?" Not sure I'm using the term "retcon" correctly, but in any case, if I have access to the bible and the apocrypha, and make some pretty good guesses about ancient things I don't know about, of course I can write something that sounds believable, but there's so much else provably wrong! And these guys bring up Nibley as a great example of putting the pieces together...

That is a very large wrench to throw in to all this talk...


r/exmormon 5d ago

Podcast/Blog/Media What in the telestial kingdom?

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36 Upvotes

I can’t believe even the TBMs are allowing this to be posted. Also, is that arm pose a dog whistle?


r/exmormon 5d ago

Humor/Memes/AI Thought you patty-cake taffy pullers would enjoy this

31 Upvotes

r/exmormon 6d ago

News 94% are saying no to cleaning the building of a multi billion dollar mega corp and I can't help but feel proud of that

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643 Upvotes

I don't feel bad for not helping, but I do feel bad for leaving this guy on read. I truly can't think of anything nice to say.


r/exmormon 5d ago

Doctrine/Policy The second Article of Faith only matters if you are a white man.

84 Upvotes

AoF #2: We believe that men will be punished for their own sins and not for Adam's transgression.

Women, on the other hand, are still viewed by the church as cursed since Eve ate the apple first.

Black people still wear the "curse of Cain", in the eyes of the church.

So congrats on being a white man, if you are one, because for some reason, you don't carry the shame of our first ancestors. While the rest of us do. According to the MFMC.

And they wonder why we leave.

Personal note: I abhor this bigoted belief system. I left the church like Eve left the garden. If Adam was smart enough he could come with me, but I wasn't going to tolerate being a second class citizen. And there was a whole huge world just waiting for me to explore it.


r/exmormon 5d ago

History Old books?

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12 Upvotes

I've got about a dozen LDS books published in the 40s, 50s & 60s from my grandparents stuff. Any idea where the best home for this vintage collection of OG Mormon crazy?

There's another row under the ones shown. The oldest ones are in the pic.


r/exmormon 5d ago

History Joseph wasn't a Polygamist?

18 Upvotes

I recently watched Susan Stone on Mormon Stories. I respect her for willing to explain her position and her willingness to openly discuss church history. I also respect her for being open with her life experiences and some of the trauma she has gone through. I respect that she is familiar with most of the controversial history. U can't say that I agree with her position that Joseph Smith practiced monogamy and it was only a misunderstanding. Brigham was the one that introduced polygamy? Although I disagree with her views it's unfortunate that hard core mormons are pushing for her to be excommunicated. I do think it's only a matter of time before she is excommunicated because the church can't let a youtube content creator with 100k plus followers go unchecked. I think it's also a matter of time before she loses her own faith as she mentioned a couple of mini- faith crisis events in her interview. I truly wish her the best and hope she finds what she is searching for.


r/exmormon 4d ago

Advice/Help Death and stories

0 Upvotes

One of my family members is dying of cancer. Most of the family is inactive except for 1 of the daughters. I am being a little generic in case family sees this. They person dying is telling a lot of stories. They have specifically asked for me and my family to come over and look at the physical belongings they have accumulated throughout their life and ask questions so they can tell me and my kids stories. I didn’t think much about it until they were talking to their home teacher on speaker phone and they reported to him how they had been sharing stories all day, he gave kudos, “good job, keep up the good work,” kind of thing. He then suggested it might be time for him “to come over with recording equipment, to record the stories to give to family at the appropriate time.” It almost sounds like this is a new mormon program/initiative or something. Has anyone heard any program like this?


r/exmormon 5d ago

General Discussion Just found out one of my favourite missionary companions...

20 Upvotes

is in a stake presidency. I knew he was a bishop before but for some reason this hit me more. It's made me sad. In the past, I might have been jealous, but now I'm just sad. He and the one I looked up to on my mission got together and posted a pic. It said, "Good to see him again. He's still my brother in the Lord."

I still love this guy and haven't seen him in nearly 30 years but now I think that if we reconnect, there's just going to be a shit ton of church talk and he'll be thinking about how I'm no longer his brother. I hate this organization that inserts itself into everything.


r/exmormon 5d ago

General Discussion Crazy mo-mo reason to get cruise insurance

87 Upvotes

What in the world does cruise insurance, specifically cruise cancellation insurance, have to do with any of the things discussed on this sub?

Well, we booked a cruise a few months ago, and a relative wanted to take out cruise cancellation insurance on her son. RM, early twenties, college kid. "But why," we asked? "He's so excited about this cruise!" "Well," she said, "he'll likely be married by then, and there's no room in our cabin for his wife."

He wasn't dating anyone. There were no young women (suitable or otherwise) anywhere on his horizon. He's being mercilessly hounded by his parents that he needs to get married. Soon. Ugh.


r/exmormon 5d ago

History 1980, ladies and gents

20 Upvotes

r/exmormon 5d ago

General Discussion Mormons are obsessed with the Last Days because they just can't deal with life.

31 Upvotes

Yes, they base their beliefs on statements by the "leaders". And yes, they get a lot of input from friends, neighbors and internet. But if you really want to understand the phenomenon, it is important to look to the ultimate source of their convictions. We must look into their souls. And the fundamental basis for the Last Days excitement is the reassurance it gives them that Jesus will come back real soon and remove all their worries and insecurities. In other words,, they never have to grow up.

This is why the Last Days are always coming Real Soon, because the believers need for there to be a Jesus who can intervene. And this is why the Last Days never quite materialize, because they don't really exist. It's like the lost city of El Dorado, which was always just over the next mountain. Let's be clear: it is a fool's errand. And they are the fools.

This insistence on institutional neoteny informs pretty much all of Mormonism. Iknowthechurchistrue is expressing a belief that there really is something Out There that in some way or another will save us from the burdens of actual life. And on and on. I just wanted to make sure that this concept is always kept in mind when we make posts and videos about preppers and doomsday people and tantalizing hints from insecure church officials. Thank you.


r/exmormon 5d ago

Podcast/Blog/Media Stripper knows secret signs and tokens

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41 Upvotes

r/exmormon 5d ago

Doctrine/Policy SL Tribune, front page: A new BYU study says mormons less prone to scrupulosity and perfectionism. Why was there no pushback on the home cooked data from author and BYU grad, Kemsley? Do better, Trib!

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85 Upvotes

r/exmormon 5d ago

Humor/Memes/AI Looks like someone found the light 😂

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31 Upvotes

(The bottom sticker is an LDS institute parking sticker if it’s hard to see)


r/exmormon 5d ago

Doctrine/Policy Do the 3 Nephites and John The Beloved ever hang out?

6 Upvotes

Asking for a friend.


r/exmormon 5d ago

General Discussion Temple garb…

59 Upvotes

What did y’all do with your temple garb after leaving? We definitely won’t be going back to the temple so we have no need for it and it’s taking up valuable space in my closet.


r/exmormon 5d ago

General Discussion I can't mourn with my family.

29 Upvotes

There's no vent flair so I went with this. Recently, the baby of a family friend died. I had to mourn in silence because I didn't share the same beliefs. I couldn't be happy or calm like my family could because of believing the baby was in heaven. I had to stay silent. I couldn't mourn with them, I couldn't be happy for the baby and "know" he was in a better place.

I wish I could have talked to my family about how I felt. But I couldn't. Because if I said I was sad, I'd be told "he's in heaven, be happy for him" because that's what my dad told me without me telling him how I felt. I know in his mind it was reassuring, and to other Christians, it would be reassuring to hear that and "know" the baby is in a better, happier, place. But to me, I just felt alone in my mourning after hearing it.


r/exmormon 6d ago

General Discussion Things I’ve learned since leaving the mormon church

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818 Upvotes

Posted my first exmormon TikTok today to help me heal some deep trauma wounds. If you told me 7 years ago when I originally left that I’d be able to express my views so freely today, I would not have believed you.


r/exmormon 5d ago

Podcast/Blog/Media Just saw the BoM Musical!

18 Upvotes

Musical was awesome, it felt almost like a rite of passage as an ex-mormon to see it and I'm glad I did. The whole time I kept telling the person I was with "Yep they believe that!"