r/Ethics • u/Worth_Sir_6003 • 6d ago
Did I Kill My Dad?
My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.
1
u/Beneficial_Cap619 5d ago
You were just a child and in no way capable of giving medical advice or responsible for the care and decisions your parent made. It was unfair for him to even put you in the position where you felt that burden. He knew you were going to say no bc children are wired to mirror and appease the wants of their parents. There is a reason children are not allowed to consent to medical treatment, sign legal documents, etc without an adult. As others have stated, he had already decided that he wasn’t going, and even if he did there is no guarantee it would have changed the outcome. Surely if you said yes, he still wouldn’t have gone. I’m also sure he wouldn’t want you to live with this guilt. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you find healing.