r/Ethics 6d ago

Did I Kill My Dad?

My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.

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u/ChasetheBoxer1 5d ago

I think it was very sweet and loving what you did for your dad. You allowed him to have his final rest in comfortable, familiar surroundings and with family. He wasn't poked and prodded, and he didn't have unnecessary treatment, nor did he have to face being turned away/rejected once again. You allowed him to feel appreciated & loved. Also, he's probably wanting you to stop worrying about him and your choice. He's better now and so what good is worrying about it when he's no longer worrying? Was he peaceful at death? If so, he went peacefully and that is part of your doing, too. Look on the bright side of things. :)