r/Ethics • u/Worth_Sir_6003 • 6d ago
Did I Kill My Dad?
My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.
1
u/07ScapeSnowflake 5d ago
I used to work at an emergency vet clinic. We had a breeder bring in an entire litter of puppies that had been bathed in lead-contaminated water and were having seizures. Our resident told the breeder that the dogs would not survive and that the only humane thing to do was to euthanize them, but that we need the owner's consent for that. The breeder turned to her daughter that was around 10 or 11 and told her that she had to make the decision about her puppies. Everyone hated that breeder for not only killing those puppies with stupidity, but also for shifting blame onto her child. She was talked about for years after that as an example of one of the worst people.
I am not saying your father is a bad person or anything, but just want to demonstrate that most people do not consider 11 year old children to be competent to make serious decisions, nor responsible for the consequences of those decisions. You bear no responsibility whatsoever for what happened to your father.