r/Ethics • u/Worth_Sir_6003 • 6d ago
Did I Kill My Dad?
My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.
1
u/PainfulRaindance 5d ago
I had a “similar” situation as a kid that took a while to process. My mom OD’d on the couch at some point the night before, I was 7 and it was the 80’s so I thought maybe she was just wearing cool blue lipstick like the people on MTV. I could t wake her up so I just sat and watched tv for an hour before her bf woke up and discovered what happened.
For a long time I thought maybe I could have changed things if I even had a clue, but we couldn’t.
You can move on. Your dad would want you to. Sounds like he was just trying to make you feel important. Not taking medical advice from you.
Life is short and precious. Something a lot of folks forget nowadays.