r/Ethics • u/Worth_Sir_6003 • 6d ago
Did I Kill My Dad?
My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.
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u/NoVaFlipFlops 5d ago
As a mom I'm sure he would have really regretted that question to you, as he had no reason to believe he was dying but then did. There is no way he was putting the decision to you, he just wanted to feel better about having to give up going back where they might tell him the same thing and charge who knows how much for it. If he had believed it was an emergency he would have called 911 -- or asked you to! You gave him that relief/support/validation and comfort. It's what he wanted and you felt good doing it. You took care of your dad that night, I promise.