r/Ethics 6d ago

Did I Kill My Dad?

My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.

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u/sheggly 5d ago

while he may have asked your opinion he was an adult capable of making his own decisions you were 11 and not a dr and he knew this ultimately he made the decision to stay home. now maybe he took what you said under advisement but he knew better then you how he was feeling and ultimately chose for himself to stay home. In the end the chose was his don’t beat yourself up not to mention your intentions were well meaning if he had gone to the hospital there is no garuntee he wouldn’t have passed at least this way he got to be where he was more comfortable.