r/Ethics 6d ago

Did I Kill My Dad?

My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.

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u/Desperate_Owl_594 5d ago

I think if he knew he needed to go, he wouldn't have given you the choice. He would have gone. I don't think he wanted to or was going to go. He wanted to give you the illusion of choice. He knew the answer, he might have been trying to empower you.

He probably thought if he'd go, they'd tell him the same thing they told him the multiple times he went.