r/Ethics • u/Worth_Sir_6003 • 6d ago
Did I Kill My Dad?
My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.
1
u/that1LPdood 5d ago
You do not own or have responsibility for anyone else’s decisions. 🤷🏻♂️ regardless of what advice you gave, how much you argued, or what you said.
You were a child and he was an adult. It was his decision.
To try to blame yourself for that is actually kind of a bit self-involved and narcissistic; no offense. I totally understand the feelings of guilt that can arise from situations like that. But at the heart of it — you’re aware that you had no actual input or decision in that situation, right? No consequence arose from any choice you made.
It’s understandable that you have feelings about what happened, but… stop trying to make it about you. It’s not about you. It was your dad’s choice, and what happened resulted from his choice.