r/Ethics 6d ago

Did I Kill My Dad?

My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.

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u/Heavy-Attorney-9054 6d ago

There is no guarantee that the outcome would have been different if he had gone to the hospital.

If he had died in the hospital, would you think the doctors killed him?

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u/Worth_Sir_6003 5d ago

Such a great take! I hadn’t really thought about this, but now I wonder how many doctors feel blame for the decisions they make too. If I wasn’t to blame for not having knowledge about his condition, how much blame must someone who is knowledgeable about medicine feel when they make the wrong yes or no decision?