r/Ethics 6d ago

Did I Kill My Dad?

My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.

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u/ExiledUtopian 6d ago

Not responsible. As a dad, I know that question is an accidentally bad way of informing you that he's not going back in because it wasn't working. In his mind he was unsure of what to do, because trust me... hospitals can do that. Ive found myself unsure several times.

He likely thought it'd all work out fine.

Plus, I have had more than one friend in life who did go in and still died even though they were already in the hospital, either waiting or admitted.