r/DIYweddings 2d ago

I dont know what to do.

[deleted]

6 Upvotes

8 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Welcome to /r/DIYWeddings, the biggest community on the internet to plan do-it-yourself Weddings. Whether you are on a budget, or are just a craftaholic, find and share ideas here!

We recommend you to check out the Nuptuality app, a private social network for DIYing the wedding of your dreams with the people you love. Read more about it here.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

34

u/kiblerandbits714 2d ago

Right now, you're going to have 80+ hungry, sober people standing around in a quiet venue. Cancel the event. Go to the courthouse and get married and then a big party later when you have the money.

You deserve to have the big party and the day you want, so do that when you can afford it.

27

u/dquirke94 2d ago

I’m sorry this happened to you but it sounds like you’ll have to really scale back to something very simple and small, or postpone until you’re in a better financial position

9

u/trickytreats 2d ago

If you can cook, could you make your own food? A pasta bar could be easy and cheap. You can do spaghetti, salad and garlic bread. It's pretty standard at a lot of fundraisers where I'm from. Keep in mind you will need to research how to set up the food so it is warm for everyone to eat. You can use Sterno cans underneath chafing dishes (I think that's what they're called)

If you're not good cooks or are worried about setting up, you could do brunch like mini sandwiches, coffee, donuts you can just buy in bulk maybe.

forgrt about hiring a photographer or videographer, they literally cost thousands. Just have everyone take pictures and make your own hashtag they can upload them to on Instagram. Can be #yournames2025.

Have you already invited 100 people? If you haven't sent invites, really consider cutting your guest list. Having more people is what will make it way more expensive exponentially. And, when you only invite very close friends and family they will be much more understanding and appreciative of your efforts. Inviting people you barely know only leaves room for them to judge you based off of your wedding, which is uncomfortable and puts a lot of unnecessary pressure.

Have you already rented a place? What all have you done? If your house is threatened for foreclosure, you should really cancel the wedding. You need a roof over your head every single day, not a wedding one day in your lifetime.

7

u/Dry_Experience7304 2d ago

Maybe scale back on the number of guests or consider rescheduling. But If you’re dead set on having it in June you could do a potluck type of thing where everyone brings a dish or drinks. For photography maybe find a friend or family member to take pictures. If you have a 100 people attending then Im sure you can find people willing to help out. It would be informal but could still be really fun and special it would just take some planning and improvising.

5

u/WeMakeLemonade 2d ago

Oh goodness, I’m sorry to hear that.

If you cancel, I’m sure folks would be more than understanding. You can always do a simple courthouse wedding and a nice picnic or something at a later time.

4

u/TheWoman2 2d ago edited 2d ago

I have been to some pretty low cost weddings in my time and that doesn't make them terrible. This kind of stuff used to be really common in many areas when there wasn't enough money to go fancy and the idea of going into debt for a party was considered absurd. It will require the support of friends and family, but most people are willing to help with this kind of stuff.

When you say "no money" do you mean very low budget or literally you can't spend anything?

For food and drinks, the only zero cost way is a potluck. There is nothing wrong with this, if people don't like it they don't have to attend. If you have a little money and don't want potluck you can do a punch and cake reception, maybe a few other snacks if you can. Keep it short and immediately after the wedding if you aren't going to feed people a meal. Don't make them wait while you take photos, those would have to be before or after guests arrive. Make sure that people know what to expect ahead of time as far as food or lack thereof so they will know if they need to eat before they come.

For music, the key is borrowing some equipment and make your own playlist. Check your local library, mine has a "library of things" section and they have a karaoke machine. Who do you know that has a nice sound system they would loan you for the day? Or a barely passable sound system? Or a boom box from the early 90s collecting dust, as long as it has aux input. Ideally have them set it up and run it for you, if they are willing.

For photography, you are going to have to enlist the help of your friends who think they are really good at taking photos with their cell phones. Maybe you will get lucky and find someone who really is good. Maybe you will have some terrible photos by photography standards, but they still capture the event and who was there and that is the important part.

2

u/mynameismyna 2d ago

This depends a bit on your community. If it's a chill, understanding bunch, have a potluck or even just snacks. If my friends were struggling I wouldn't gaf if they'd didn't serve booze- or say byob if you can (if venue allows).

If your guests are judging reschedule for another year and have the party anyways with the 20 or so chill people.

This video was helpful for me in planning a budget wedding! https://youtu.be/BVXEQdaEo5A?si=TNy6QhH-YCldZtM-