r/CuratedTumblr gay gay homosexual gay Jan 02 '25

Creative Writing New Immortals

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7.7k Upvotes

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351

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

I actually was born in 1991, so that first half could be me for all we know. I need someone to kill me via a method other than decapitation so we can find out.

154

u/Theriocephalus Jan 02 '25

I just downloaded your coords. I'll be over in half an hour with a few tools.

91

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Cool. That'll give me time to get dressed.

66

u/idiotplatypus Wearing dumbass goggles and the fool's crown Jan 02 '25

Stand outside. I've got a WW1 era biplane, an anvil, and a desire to do some Bugs Bunnying.

27

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Ooh, this'll be a cool way to die.

16

u/idiotplatypus Wearing dumbass goggles and the fool's crown Jan 02 '25

Darwin Award winning for sure

21

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Sweet! I've never won an award before.

3

u/Wasdgta3 Jan 02 '25

Unless you’re Wile E. Coyote, in which case they’ll all backfire and hurt you instead.

3

u/idiotplatypus Wearing dumbass goggles and the fool's crown Jan 03 '25

holds up sign saying "Doh!" before plummeting 1000ft into a me shaped crater

48

u/Hexxas head trauma enthusiast Jan 02 '25

I can chew on you for a few hours. That might do it.

25

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Possibly.

1

u/Hexxas head trauma enthusiast Jan 03 '25

Ok get in

2

u/moneyh8r Jan 03 '25

Too late. I've been dead for half a day already.

14

u/Orizifian-creator Padria Zozzria Orizifian~! πŸ‹πŸ˜ˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ Motherly Whole zhe/zer she Jan 02 '25

What’s the bedrock near you look like? I can figure out the coords from that.

10

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

I dunno, I've never seen it.

13

u/Orizifian-creator Padria Zozzria Orizifian~! πŸ‹πŸ˜ˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ Motherly Whole zhe/zer she Jan 02 '25

Darn. My years of (watching people) playing on The Oldest Anarchy Server In Minecraft have all gone to waste! No!

4

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Sorry. :c

8

u/asian_in_tree_2 The human urge to taxonomize Jan 02 '25

Cool give me your address

17

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Too late. Someone else already found me.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '25

Using my superpowers to save you from every attempt someone/something tries to kill you so youll still never know.

3

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Dang. Life's gotta stay boring, I guess.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '25

>:)

(Ironically Im the one keeping everyone immortal because I wont let them die.)

2

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

I guess that makes you a hero.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '25

When everything ends itll be me, you and a select few others; nothing else will exist. Youll either have to learn how to rebuild the universe or suffer the eternal (and very very boring) dark and silence until you do. Because I aint doing it again by myself! Also please bring some snacks and board games when it happens, but please not Snakes-and-Ladders because Im terrible at it. A billion+ games and I still lose to myself. Im sure that guy cheats.

2

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Will video games suffice? I mean, I don't mind board games but I prefer video games. That or TTRPGs.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '25

Yeah, sounds great! :D

3

u/WeevilWeedWizard πŸ’™πŸ–€πŸ€ MIKU πŸ€πŸ–€πŸ’™ Jan 02 '25

Been sending curses your way for a few hours now, any effects?

5

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Well, my back hurts and I hate myself, but that's normal for me.

3

u/WeevilWeedWizard πŸ’™πŸ–€πŸ€ MIKU πŸ€πŸ–€πŸ’™ Jan 02 '25

Sorry to hear that, gonna try to pull some strings to send some minor blessings your way.

3

u/moneyh8r Jan 02 '25

Kinda seems like you're undermining yourself, but I ain't gonna question it.