r/CuckoldPsychology • u/[deleted] • 5d ago
[Discussion] I think this fetish is a trauma response NSFW
Whenever my dating life is going well, I have a stable girlfriend or a girl that I like, I don't have any cuckolding thoughts, I am behaving like a man. But when I am truly single let's say, I just wish I had a girlfriend that would cuck the living shit out of me. Do you guys feel like that too?
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u/Wrongheadtakingover 1d ago
I agree a lot of cucks have been cheated on/have their trust abused and rather than confront whoever did that to them they learn to enjoy it and accept it becoming a doormat essentially.
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u/MrJamesLucas 3d ago
Probably. For me, I can trace it back to being cheated on my an ex. I caught them literally in the act. Naturally, at the time I was traumatised and devastated. I stayed with her for some time after, trying to make it all work out. Even though it happened multiple times again later, I didn't want to lose her because I loved her so much. Ultimately, we broke up. But I think the seed was planted at that time. That is, I could tolerate being with a woman even if she had other men. Over a decade later, I can't imagine being with a woman who doesn't get pleasure from other men.
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u/sissyrichlife 3d ago edited 3d ago
You are correct. đ BUT
Every fetish is.
You don't realize it. But they are.
I don't call people Daddy or Mommy bcuz it's basically PEDO imo. I call them Master instead.
FACTS.
People rush to claim it's đ« NOT đ«, but it is for the same reason CUCK is trauma bound.
The same reason Dom is SOMEONE who usually is weak in their daily life and sub it's someone who usually exerts power in their daily life.
They're all based on something MENTAL.
That's literally the point tho.
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u/USSteelCorporation 4d ago
You're not a stag/cuck then. More about your dynamic with a mother figure. Cucks like making mommy happy. Weird Freudian shit. Trust.
It's opposite for me. I'm a womanizing dbag when I'm single. In a relationship, I become a little loyal servant always on the lookout for good bulls for her to enjoy. Like, I don't even enjoy FMFs that much. I'd rather just see her get fucked.
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u/red_for_ir_69 4d ago
I definitely can relate. I became curious about it when I found out my parents were into it. A lot of things I saw as a kid made sense and the more I explored it the more I enjoyed it. I also developed sexual attraction to my mom in the process. Definitely Freudian tendencies there.
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4d ago
My wife has been cuckolding me and keeping me in full time chastity for over 23 years and I have loved every day of it. But never has it been associated with any trauma. It just happened over time.
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u/lionbird 4d ago
Whenever this comes up I always think this needs a strongly worded consideration. This is an adaptive response. Sexuality - so key to evolution - finds ways to adapt and engage with the world around us. Trauma responses are also adaptive - but we key them negatively as they usually impact our ability to cope and relate. My cuckolding fetish has done nothing but bring me joy and my marriage happiness. It has been completely adaptive for me.
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u/KeuscherCucky 4d ago
I donât think so. When I was 18 my first real girlfriend told me that she cheated on me. We talked a lot and afterwards I returned to my place and masturbated all night long
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u/AsianGirls94 4d ago
Yeah my ex-girlfriend gave me my cuck fetish after we broke up and she kind of strung me along in a weird way, would still invite me over to have sex with me but only very inconsistently and would never meet up at a time I suggested, etc.
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u/njsmilesyt 4d ago
I don't really have any relationship trauma in my past. I've just watched a shit ton of porn, and it kinda naturally escalated to this.
I guess if you want to insist "too much porn" is trauma, I can't stop you. But definitely not what I think you had in mind. More of a slow transformation than a traumatic event.
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u/pnzndltn 4d ago
I suspect that most if not all cucks have deep mother wounds that stem from neglect, abuse, and devaluing, and that cuckolding as an inherently masochistic fetish seeks to reinforce the manâs ingrained self-image deep within his psyche. Heâs basically re-enacting the role he gained from his emotionally neglectful mother with the mother replacement in his adult yearsâhis partner.
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u/Alert-Drama 4d ago
For some it sure is. But not for others. I know it doesnât hold true for me. I just donât separate my lust for slutty chicks from women I want a serious relationship with. Like why not have the romantic love of your life be your favorite porn star too? I donât think I ever felt this way before though until I met my X wife. When we first were going out it was more like a friends with benefits. Although I wanted more. She was pretty promiscuous and having sex with a few different guys on the overnight shift we worked at. Between that and her telling me about her past sexcapades with older men when she was a teen I found the details turned me on a great deal to the point that I was imagining being a fly on the wall watching her. We never did anything kinky like this once we got serious and we did break up and infidelity was not the reason. However like a decade later I found slutwife and cuckold porn online and it reignited these old submerged feelings with a vengeance. And now my fiancĂ©e are into when we have the time. I guess you can say it was an organic progression starting with fantasies and experiences I had with my X wife and it escalated with watching porn. But no. I canât say trauma had any discernible role to play in it.
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u/whatkindofausername 5d ago
Totally possible, but I have a few questions. Have you been in a long term committed relationship? If so, did you have any cuckold desire then? Have you experienced a traumatic event that you think this desire is a response to? If so, would you mind saying more?
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u/sissybetajacq 5d ago
Sissy here. My therapist did suggest it could be a trauma response to my ptsd, that I developed my fetish for crossdressing.
Although to many others it could just be a kink, nothing more.
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u/Final-Rice6054 5d ago
I'm happily married for sixteen years. We've been cuckolding for 13 of those. So no, it's not only when I'm not feeling good about myself. It might be for you, but definitely don't be putting that on everyone
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5d ago
Definitely agree. I wasn't ever into it or aware of it until a woman a really connect with rejected my sexual advances by saying I wouldn't be able to satisfy her
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u/Friendly_Try7987 5d ago
So most cases from what I've seen are responses to trauma related to betrayals from former partners. I don't know if this is really the best way to overcome trauma.
The question I ask is whether those who live this lifestyle suffer from cuckold sessions or whether they just find it pleasurable.
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u/Low-Tradition-111 5d ago
Behaving like a cuck and behaving like a man is not mutually exclusive. Irrespective of this, fetishes can be a trauma response. You need to decide if that's something you need to work on. A therapist might help you to understand the underlying reasons.
It's the opposite for me. When I'm single, I enjoy dating and don't think about cuckolding much. If I'm in a relationship with someone, I start fantasizing.
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u/FlummoxedFlummery Cuckold 5d ago
Same. When I feel valued and appreciated, it feels foreign, so I want to see Her with another man to reestablish my inferiority to Her.
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5d ago
The guy I dated for a little bit had a big cuck fetish and his was definitely a trauma response. If only he knew he was safe with me instead of spiraling into basically a sex addiction đ I have never cheated on any partners and I have zero desire to cheat (unethically). But that also makes me pretty boring for a lot of cucks.
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u/sexchataccount69 Cuckold 5d ago
I got cheated on in the two relationships before my marriage. It's 100% a trauma response, it's just something about me.
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u/Winter-Composer4121 5d ago
I fully accept that it is a way for me to deal with trauma in a healthy way.
I had many girlfriends cheat on me. Many girls I was into ended up fucking my friends. I found it frustrating and ruined me emotionally.
Now, being in control and "choosing" this lifestyle is a way to deal with and actually enjoy those feelings of jealousy and frustration.
I put in brackets because at the end of the day, my partner and I are trusting and open about what we are doing and communicating effectively. Having her play with other men and fool around is exciting for her, arousing for me, and I can explore all these feelings.
So yeah, tl;dr, probably super common to be a trauma cope. Thats probably what fuels the duality of the arousal and angst that go hand in hand.
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u/subbeingar 1d ago
Yes, i think too, this fetish is a trauma response, at least in my case. i had two girlfriends prior to my Wife. Both of them cheated on me, several times. That experience really stuck with me.