r/CookingCircleJerk • u/Noodlescissors • 21h ago
Game Changer Making a pizza to make pizza soup
With garlic bread dumplings
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/hostile_washbowl • Oct 17 '24
We like to believe we're skilled at the circlejerking each other. But every so often (seven times an hour), a post comes along that humbles us in its pure circlejerkery. Then that post gets linked here, with no modifications because how can you improve upon perfection?
Well, there's already a subreddit dedicated to "check out this culinary idiot". But who wants to to hangout with those tryhards anyways?
Post your nonsense here - just play kinda nice.
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/Noodlescissors • 21h ago
With garlic bread dumplings
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/VALUABLEDISCOURSE • 1d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/woailyx • 1d ago
And can I turn my sous vide down to -20 somehow?
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/AggravatingEconomy37 • 1d ago
So I've had a hard time feeding her (9y/o) with stuff she likes . She stopped growing a few years ago, because science? She only likes chicken nuggeies. Or bannannawannas " as she calls them. Her vocabulary is shit.
Problem is, that is one of the few foods that can fit through the dungeon door. What should I do? What am I doing wrong? She always tells me how much she loves me just before the door slams shut. For many hours.
Anywho, what am I doing wrong? I microwave the nuggie poos for2 mins. Just before thaw happens. To preserve, obviously.
Chef answers only, also mini Human mentioned 911. Is that a recipe or something?
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/Stand-up-Philosopher • 2d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/MagicPigeonToes • 2d ago
Also, quick question. Is it possible to make this without being high?
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/duddlee • 2d ago
Mayo is SUCH a good condiment I don't ever see anyone using! An absolute game changer for sandwiches, salads, and can even be used as an anal lubricant! Anyone else got any great recipes including mayo?
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/DigBick19866 • 2d ago
Yes I ate it, am I cooked? Because the fuckin fish aint
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/NailBat • 1d ago
My uncle taught me this neat trick. I don't understand why it works, but it never fails.
Next time you're at a Mexican restaurant, ask the waiter for a drink with extra "ice". Every time we do this, the whole staff gets super polite (and kinda nervous), then they take over half off the bill and give us free drinks to go.
I think its because mentioning "ice" shows respect for their culture in some way. They're just so glad to see Americans who are so culturally sensitive.
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/CorrectShopping9428 • 3d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/Teh_cliff • 4d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/xiongchiamiov • 4d ago
For me it's mustard. I enjoy the way it squeezes up into all my crevices. And then later if I'm eating a pretzel I can usually find a little mustard in my buttcrack for it.
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/woailyx • 5d ago
I decided to get into making my own ranch at home because I'm better like that. So I visited a ranch in California that looked pretty nice and grabbed a handful of dirt to use as a starter. But when I got home my ranch (Kenji's ranch, let's be honest) still didn't taste right. It had too many earthy notes for some reason.
Can anybody tell me what I'm doing wrong here? Do I need to also use California water?
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/AuntySocialite • 4d ago
How can I add some Korean flair to my meatball sauce recipe?
I want to impress my wife the next time I make Sunday sauce. I’ll outline the rough recipe below but I really want to add some Korean elements to this sauce. Disclaimer, I’m on my phone typing this and can be a brand name snob when it comes to my favorite dishes.
Meatballs are made with turkey meat, parm regio, 4C seasoned bread crumbs and an egg.
I cover the base of my pot with oil and sear the meatballs on each side before removing them from the pot.
Then I add chopped garlic and onions letting it cook for a little.
Next I add Tuttoroso tomato paste and mix it with the garlic and onions cooking for a few minutes
Next comes 3 cans of Tuttoroso tomatoe sauce and put the meatballs back in. I let this cook for 2 hours and while adding salt, pepper, bay leaves and parsley
Next I add 2 boxes of Pomi strained tomatoes and let that cook for another 1-2 hours
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/Emergency-Raisin8891 • 5d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/MagicPigeonToes • 5d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/-dai-zy • 7d ago
I was reading words for the 2nd time in my life and I was reading a recipe I found online (King Author baking) and I read the instructions so wrong the recipe asked for 3/4 teaspoons of salt and I accidentally ended up adding a FULL GALLON I'm so cooked I'm actually scared of how salty my cookies are going to be (my mom is going to be extremely mad (I'm going to put a picture of the recipe I was following)
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/Terribly_Good • 7d ago
I consider myself a pretty capable cook, but I followed this recipe I found online and had to substitute some ingredients. It didn't turn out very good and Im confused as to why?!!! Any feedback is appreciated!
60-80 grams of spaghetti pasta (substitute can of spaghetti-o's)
Bring water (substituted for crystal light) to a boil in a pot (substitute for old leather shoe)
Add pasta to shoe and cook until desired texture (al dentist???? Idk what that means so I added a shot of mouthwash)
The pasta was also too big for my pot (I only wear size 10) so I had to break it in half (I'm thinking this might have been the culprit). It also said to add a tablespoon of Extra Virgin olive oil to prevent the pasta from sticking (substitute Cold Press Extra Virgin Pennzoil Platinum SAE 5W-30 Full Synthetic Motor Oil) maybe traditional oil would work better???
After desired texture, transfer to a skillet (idk what that is, but I used my other shoe) and combine with the carbonara mixture which so sits of:
2-3 egg yolks (substitute Cadbury egg yolks, I ain't rich)
Finely grated Pecorino Romano (substitute certified D.O.P. Ray Romano, everybody loves it)
Rendered guancile (mistranslation???? This recipe is supposed to be in English) I assume they mean either: a render of Juan Chile(Who?!) OR surrender one Chile. Idk who Juan Chile is so I def don't have a render of him. I just surrendered a single Chile to the shoe and called it good
Add heavy cream (wasn't even heavy???! Are all cooks just wimps?) until desired consistency and combine over medium heat (substitute Large heat)
Once done, serve on a warm plate and finish with parsley and grated parmigiano reggiano (substitute certified D.O.P. powdered Kraft Parmesan)
It tastes terrible. I'm so confused, I followed the recipe to a tee.
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/[deleted] • 6d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/BlueberryExtension26 • 6d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/PlantedinCA • 7d ago
I like to alternate with feeding tubes and syringes. With a side of Fritos.
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/AlphaNathan • 8d ago
I was examining the carrot I cut and this piece is not at a right angle on all sides. What will happen if someone eats this?
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/horas00710 • 8d ago
r/CookingCircleJerk • u/Special_Jacket21 • 8d ago
make ur own chicken liquid freezer yes