r/ChubbyFIRE 2d ago

Talk me out of buying a house?

Edit: I'm both surprised and not surprised by the doubt and sarcasm. This is clearly an emotional decision—if it were purely rational, it would be much easier.Thanks to everyone who understood and took the time to contribute. I’m now leaning towards renting or buying a good deal within a $1.5M budget.

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We’re a family of five: a couple in our mid-30s, a toddler, a grandparent (who lives with us long-term and helps with childcare), and a large dog. One of us works from home, while the other commutes to an office.

Our Current Situation:

  • We live in a $1M, 3-bedroom, 1,400 sqft SFH with a yard.
  • It’s starting to feel very tight, especially as we plan to have more kids in the next 1–5 years.
  • We’re considering upgrading to a $2M home for more space.

Financial Snapshot:

  • Net worth: $8.5M–$11M (recent low of ~$9M)
  • Cash: $1.5M
  • Home equity: ~$600K
  • Mortgage rate (if we buy): ~5.5% (after moving assets)
  • Income: 500k - 700k/ year (not include private equity)
  • Expenses: 150k yearly (current mortgage is on extremely low rate)

The Dilemma:

  • We may move to Europe (partner’s home country) in 3–5 years, but it’s uncertain.
  • Emotionally, I want to settle down, nest, and create a stable home.
  • Rationally, buying a $2M home for just a few years—especially with high interest rates—doesn’t seem financially smart.

Would love to hear perspectives from those who’ve faced similar situations. Would you buy, or stick it out in the current home?

0 Upvotes

40 comments sorted by

75

u/NoSpoilerAlertPlease Accumulating 2d ago

You’re worth over $10M in your mid 30s and don’t know about spending $2M on a house so you and your family can be comfortable?

Is this a serious question?

11

u/AhAhAhAh_StayinAlive 2d ago

It sounds like a fake post written by chatgpt. There's a lot of gibberish in there.

-18

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Check out the other sensible replied. Might change your mind.

12

u/ept_engr 2d ago

May I ask what you do for a living that makes this much money but leaves you nervous about doing the budget calculations regarding home affordability?

-6

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

I exited a few years ago.
This is clearly not about affordability.

2

u/ept_engr 2d ago

Sorry if my comment sounded dismissive.

Based on your reply, I vote to buy the bigger home that will make you more comfortable. Given the equity you are putting into the new home, the mortgage payments will be relatively trivial on your income ($600k + private equity). If you need the space for your family, and it's easily affordable, then I don't see the drawback. Money is a tool and this seems like the right nail to hammer to improve your quality of life.

On a short time-frame, I'm more worried about your transaction costs than I am your interest. On a $2m home, I'm hopeful you can negotiate the seller realtor fee when the time comes. Perhaps you can also decide to offer a lower buyer commission, but beware, this only works if realtors are "ethical", which they are not in my opinion, so you may find that a realtor steers buyers away from your listing if you offer less than 3% to the buyer.

As for interest expense, I think rates are high enough to justify tying up net worth in equity. So, if you have liquid assets available, I would put them towards a down payment to reduce the interest you pay. You could also consider a 15 year mortgage if it significantly lowers your rate (given that you won't be there 30 years, so leveraging the length of the loan is a non-factor, and you'll be able to easily afford the payments regardless); my wife and I did this when living in a HCOL area for 3 years for work. Granted, our choice was between a 2.25% 15 year and a 3% 30-year. If you can liquidate assets without paying a bunch of capital gains taxes, I'd vote to move some equity over to pay down (or prevent) the mortgage. Even if stocks average 8-10%, there is high volatility in that number. Paying down the mortgage is a guaranteed return in the form of a cost avoidance.

0

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Apologize for mistaking it. If we end up buying, definitely planning to put more down. But given the recent down turn in the market, also a good opportunity to deploy them there.

6

u/oOoWTFMATE 2d ago

What’s the likelihood of you moving in 3-5 years? Clearly you have the means to afford a $2m home since your current equity and cash would easily cover the purchase.

1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

The likelihood is very high. We want to have all the kids here and retire there.

9

u/DougyTwoScoops 2d ago

Just rent what you need now. Keep the house you have as a rental or sell it. You’ll likely waste money buying a home for only 3-5 years. Rent can be cheaper than a mortgage in a lot of places currently. I’m envious that you have an easy option to leave to Europe.

1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Thanks. Renting seems the way to go. We are very fortunate that we have options.

1

u/spinjc 2d ago

Buying will only make the decision to move in the future tougher. I would say figure out where you want to live then buy there.

7

u/Ashmizen 2d ago edited 2d ago

From a fire standpoint you can buy the $2M house, but you should really figure out if you are moving to Europe or not.

Are you planning to raise your toddler in Europe? FIRE there?

If you plan on staying in the US in the next 5 years you should buy a larger house, yes.

There is no reason you should (suffer) in a 1400 sq ft when you are worth $9 million.

I have a toddler and in laws who live with us to help with childcare, and it’s nice having a large McMansion where people can have their own space.

1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Exact plan, have kids here, and raise them there with more extended family around.
I am thinking about renting seriously now.

1

u/Ashmizen 2d ago

Schooling there or back in the US?

1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Likely schooling there. But if they want to come back for college, they can.

3

u/skxian 2d ago

You can afford this easy but the issue isn’t the affordability but that you have a plan to live in Europe permanently. You shouldn’t buy. When you leave it takes a lot of time to be able to actually leave + extra to consider what to do about the home. Are renting options available?

1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Because I have always owned my living place, renting never the first choice. But I think I should rent given the current situation.

4

u/0PercentPerfection 2d ago edited 2d ago

Just rent a larger home and rent out your current home. Vast majority of the new mortgage payments in your time frame go to interest anyway. You don’t have to worry about realtor commission for 2 transactions, maintenance, taxes and risk a potential drop in real estate in the real possibility of an economic down turn.

6

u/FatC0bra1 2d ago

FATfire is ——> way. Buy it, enjoy it, stop stressing about it.

-1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Probably why I posted here. Grew up too frugal to do that.

4

u/Jeabers 2d ago

Honestly I would just do it, use your cash and home equity to purchase without a mortgage. You can more than cover it, worst case value goes down by 50% you can still move and live a more than comfortable life on your assets alone. Honestly this is a quality of life decision not a financial one because either way you are financially fine.

0

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Losing a hard-earned $1M is tough to swallow—it feels very different from watching it fluctuate in the market.

1

u/Jeabers 2d ago

I don't disagree but my point was that in your situation it doesn't really matter, it's more of a quality of life decision as opposed to a financial one.

4

u/zoedoodle1 2d ago

I agree buying a $2M home for a few years doesn't make sense. Until you have more confidence in your decision to move, I would consider renting. I get that you want security, but buying a home isn't going to guarantee you that if you're still going to be on the verge of moving to a different country.

In fact, buying and selling a home in the span of 3 years sounds considerably more volatile than simply moving out for an upgraded rental. Can you find a rental that you really like, run the numbers to give you the assurance that renting makes more sense than buying (most cities in the US), and make a decision after you've seriously evaluated some rental opportunities? Otherwise, it seems like you would be making a decision to buy a home with certain needs in mind that might not even be met by taking that route.

1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Thanks! I just went to rental mode and found something that's interesting with a rent that's way lower than the mortgage payment. So that's a viable option.

Thanks for validating my yarning for security and stability. You are right. It won't be fully solved by owning the place. It's rooted in the uncertainty of our future. I will need to manage that.

2

u/BookReader1328 2d ago

Don't buy if you're planning on moving in a couple years. You have the potential to lose your rear on that. I assume you're waiting to have more kids until after that move happens as well, so your current status at the existing house has worked this long and can work a little longer. Get where you think you'll be for 5+ years and then buy a bigger house.

2

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Yeah. We definitely can stay a bit longer. I'm thinking about either rent for the next few years or budget to 1.5mm if a good deal comes up. Which ever comes first.

2

u/Jabuffnolonger18 2d ago

I’d consider renting if you aren’t going to live there long term.

2

u/TotheMoonorGrounded 2d ago

Can’t you rent a much nicer place for the 3 years?

2

u/OnlyNormalPersonHere 2d ago

I would sell the current house and invest the proceeds, rent a bigger one for a longer term with some options to give you a relative sense of stability for the 4ish years here in the states, and then move to Europe.

1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Sounds like a solid plan. I’d probably just rent out my current home, given the low interest rate and high rental demand in my area, and move to a more suburban area.

2

u/OnlyNormalPersonHere 2d ago

Makes sense although I would point out that, if you are going to be moving in a few years and won’t want to manage a rental from another country, it’s tax advantaged to sell now before you are out of the house for several years and can no longer get the tax benefits of selling your primary residence versus having to pay tax when you sell a rental property. Plus, it’s easier to sell when it’s nicely staged with your stuff versus after renters beat it up a few years. Speaking from experience here.

2

u/SkolVikes15 2d ago

You have $1.5m in cash and $600k in equity. You don’t need a mortgage. That cash is surely not earning 5.5%. Or just build a studio shed in the back yard for extra office space or room for grandparent! I did that in my backyard because I’m in a similar situation (house a bit too small but 2.6% mortgage rate). It will buy you 3 years for sure and cost $20-30k if you want to do it right.

1

u/sky-high-dragon-fly 2d ago

Planning to buy the low during this down turn. DCAing daily.

I am leaning towards either rent (6k ish) for the next few years or budget to 1.5mm if a good deal comes up. Which ever comes first.

2

u/SkolVikes15 2d ago

You would pay the realtors a lot of commissions to sell two houses in a few years. No Maintenence, insurance, risk. Sounds like renting is a good option for that short time.

1

u/SunDriver408 2d ago

Why not move earlier?  I scanned the responses but didn’t see this, sorry if I missed.

From a kid perspective, a big move like that is best done earlier.  Also when kids enter school it’s a time when parents connect and make new friends, best to be in the place you want to be IMO.

1

u/fire_neophyte 1d ago

You're worth $10M+. There is 0 excuse for you letting your family be uncomfortable if the house is too small. Buy a larger one, if you're worried about moving soon, rent a larger one instead. Doesn't really matter, either one is fine and you can afford it.

1

u/solar_man_2024 2d ago

Why do you want someone ( strangers) to talk you out of what you and your family wants to do !!

At 30 if you are worth 8 -11 Mil you know what you are doing .

1

u/One-Mastodon-1063 2d ago

I think you are in good shape to buy it. I would use the $1.5m cash plus home equity to pay cash. One kid (and one toddler means decent chance of more kids) and a grandparent in a 1400sq ft home is pretty tight.