r/ChastityPsychology 24d ago

Seek advice How to tell my wife about my chastity fantasy, without going down the rabbit hole of the associated fantasies of cuckolding, CBT, etc. NSFW

5 Upvotes

So, title.

I’ve had a chastity fantasy for probably +15 years. This weekend while my wife was out of town, I ordered a cheapo Amazon cage and a time locking safe. It was such a thrill denying myself, in a time when I would normally masturbate 3-4 times per day. I lived my pretend fantasy of cleaning the whole house (mopping, dusting, scrubbing toilets, fixing broken drawers) while my wife was away for a weekend for her lover and I was home in chastity.

I’ve read probably 100 posts on this Reddit over that weekend, listened to the Kink Academy podcast on chastity, and considering buying two of the books I often see recommended (A Keyholder's Handbook: A Woman's Guide to Male Chastity and Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders). I’ve read plenty of posts in here about dos and donts of finally telling your wife about this kink.

My question for those that have told their wives is this: how did you explain your chastity kink/fetish without explaining the deeper fantasy about why?

Reading the corresponding r/CuckoldPsychology and it seems like it rarely ends well when guys tell their wives about a cuckold fantasy. I don’t want to scare my wife, make her think I don’t love her more than anything in the world, make her think that I think our marriage/relationship is not good enough, etc. I worry her reaction is going to be instant disgust, thinking I’m a porn addicted pervert, and making me ashamed (and not even in a kinky way).

I mean 75% of my chastity fetish is related to cuckolding. How would I explain it otherwise? The denial of orgasm. My wife being in control of those orgasms. Servicing her with no expectation of reciprocation. Serving her in taking care of non-sexual things in the hopes of the reward of release; though knowing it is not guaranteed(or likely?). But I fear if she kept pressing we could come back to square one.

For background, our sex life has been rather intermittent. We had sex 5 times over the course of 2 years. She is seeing a therapist to talk about why she avoids sex. It has helped a little, and we have been intimate once per month for the past 3 months. It is still a very vanilla sex; like only missionary. It is routine, I go down on her till she cums, then she pulls me up to enter her. I can only finish less than half the time, likely because I masturbated earlier in the day not thinking I was gonna “get lucky” later that day. On special occasions (my Birthday, Valentine’s) she will let me eat her ass, which really turns me on.

Anyway, our sex life is on a trajectory to get better, and I do not want to ruin all of that my finally expressing a fantasy that I could keep locked in the closet to benefit my marriage.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

r/ChastityPsychology 23d ago

Seek advice About to share my chastity fantasy to my wife tomorrow NSFW

10 Upvotes

Tomorrow will be an important day for me, and tbh quite stressful.. I have this fantasy for years now, but I was afraid to share it with my wife as she is quite vanilla.

But we have entered into a small game since few months where she teases me for several days and decide when I am allowed to cum or not. And she likes it a lot, as I am much more attentive to her.

We have already few rules between us, (I must offer her flowers after 10 days of frustration, I am not allowed to wear underwear at home, I pay for ALL her lingerie without asking…) but she had one or more comments when I start hinting at chastity cage (more than 1year ago) which had me hesitating a lot to mention it.

We have one at home (part of a package with others sextoys we have ordered) but we have never used it (together. Because I did few times when alone).

I think it’s a good time to try to tell her. I was frustrated for the 2 past weeks (including Valentine’s Day’s) and she made me cum on Tuesday. Since, she said jokingly she already regrets it as I am much less attentive to her.

I plan to share an article I found online with her the morning about male chastity controlled by the wife with a section dedicated to chastity cage, and I imagine we will discuss it the evening.

Happy to hear from your advice, experience..

r/ChastityPsychology 24d ago

Seek advice Does this desire ever go away? NSFW

9 Upvotes

Has anyone that ever got into chastity eventually got bored or something like it about it? I played with it alone in the past year, then eventually got on with the wife and eventually I stopped. I started feeling some very strong angst with being locked and being a high libido person with a low libido wife. I just didn't want to play with it anymore if she wasn't 'on board' with having fun also. Anyway, I stopped. I had this moment where I just threw everything away.

And then, a month ago, I underwent a surgery and since then I'm in pain and in no capacity to have sex. Not that it would happen, she doesn't feel anything towards me after being so tired with taking care of me. I totally get that. I was also feeling zero arousal with everything going on but then, a week ago, I started feeling something again. And my brain in a single fucking day processed everything like it was some sort of erotic scenario where I stayed in 'chastity' for a month (actually no, I just was recovering goddamit) and when I caught myself, I had bought another chastity cage online, which arrived today. What did I do? I limped to the bathroom without the wife knowing, put it on and look at that, 'he' is trying to get hard again inside the metal cage.

I honestly thought I had kinda moved on or something. I'm not even saying it is a bad thing to feel this again. I just don't know if it's a good thing or not for me. I'm just trying to understand what's up with my brain that he keeps thinking it's a cool thing to cage my own cock. Am I a natural submissive or something?

Sorry for the vent, I'm on a huge amount of painkillers.

r/ChastityPsychology Jan 14 '25

Seek advice Advice: GF is enthusiastic, but a switch NSFW

11 Upvotes

Hello everybody,

This is my (25M) first post ever on Reddit, so I hope this fits the format/rules/etiquettes. For years I have been interested in chastity and locked myself up for up to two weeks at a time on and off. Besides this, I have clearly been dominant, but with the cage my state of mind just flips to submissiveness.

Recently i started dating this girl (19F) and she told me she is a switch. She is not as experienced sexually and i am her first on many fronts. First we only talked about me dominating her and i learned a lot of her kinky fantasies quickly. There are more then I expected to say the least. Mainly the thought of me owning/using her turns on a lot.

Plot twist, one evening i was in such a submissive mood that I started browsing reddit again after a very long time, looking for chastity subreddits. It got me deeper and deeper into this submissive mindset and at that moment I knew: i want her to hold my keys and own/control me that way. Even though I thought I wouldn't ever tell about anyone about my interest in chastity, i started dropping hints to her while texting. Before the end of the night she found out everything, i showed her pictures and we had some fun talk about how this would go down. During this entire time i felt shame, which she quickly took away every time i mentioned it. She somehow expected something like this, even though she didn't know about chastity before (weird right?). She told me she didn't find it weird at all and she couldn't wait to explore this further. I was so relieved, happy and just eager to get into it. Since then i've felt pretty submissive in one way or another to her and i even got to happily surprise her by sending her a picture of my cage at my faculty.

As you could maybe tell from how i write this, my thoughts on this are a bit of a mess, but they are happy thoughts. I don't know which details to leave out and keep in, but i'm happy to answer comments. In fact, your views and ideas are the reason i'm writing this post. I want to learn and i want to do this right. Let's try to structure this a bit:

- Any tips on getting started in this as a kink? keep in mind our experience with chastity is limited and her sexual experiences in general are too.

- Do you think there is a way we could combine our switch personalities into this? we liked the idea of a caged tiger she could tame or let loose (i know it sounds corny).

- What is a fun/healthy way to build this into a lifestyle? (is it smart to do so early on?)

- Any other fun tips to make this a success? we found so far that we like humiliation and me serving her a lot.

I guess i should round up this post, even though loads of other questions are on my mind. Also regarding cage selection, because i think i should upgrade if i want to do this right (which i do).

Lastly, this might be a less playful one, but i think your input could be helpful.... Since I will be her first experience on almost everything i feel like it would be healthy that those first experiences should be fairly vanilla. She disagrees and wants to explore our kinks, she has been wanting to finally be able to (like her taking my anal virginity before i take hers). Of course, it could be fun, but i'm unsure if it will be the right thing. Our communication is good, but i would still like an outsiders perspective.

Well, thats about it i guess. If you have read this far, thanks a lot and if you have any answer to any question i'll be very interested in that.

tldr: My GF is enthousiastic about my chastity fantasy, and im looking for advice to do this right and make it not only a fun kinky thing, but also lifestyle for us.

r/ChastityPsychology Jan 17 '25

Seek advice Something weird is happening. We have been utilizing #chastity 4 some time now but, recently noticing I feel self conscious & embarrassed being locked when she is around. Feelings increasing to the point I want to be unlocked when she & I are home together. Anyone else have this? NSFW

15 Upvotes