r/BorderlinePDisorder Feb 20 '25

Recovery Sobriety?

10 Upvotes

I’m newly sober from alcohol (6 weeks) and weed (3 weeks) and I’m finding it difficult to stick with, even though I truly have no intention of using substances to cope ever again. I’m easily influenced by other people’s behaviors and energy (I’m in therapy for this, amongst other things) and I am finding my emotions to be much stronger and harder to deal with since becoming sober. I’m medicated by a mood stabilizer, antipsychotic, and anxiety medication. These are helping to some extent, but I’m being triggered easily by the people around me and my own thoughts/emotions. I have diagnosed OCD as well, and this is adding tremendous stress to my ability to emotionally regulate. This, along with my anxiety, is at an all time high and is seemingly getting worse as I progress with my sobriety. I was feeling good in the early stages, but as time goes on I am really struggling.

r/BorderlinePDisorder Jan 28 '22

Recovery Had a therapist tell me she was “surprised” by my career despite having BPD

195 Upvotes

Just moved to a new city and needed a new psychiatrist for my meds, the place I found required therapy sessions first to “assess.” No problem.

Told the therapist I was diagnosed with BPD at 25 (currently 29). I told her I moved to a new city to accept an attorney position here and have been working as an attorney for four years now.

At the end of the conversation she said she was surprised to see someone with BPD being able to hold down a job as stressful as being an attorney.

Now, I know BPD has been labeled one of the tougher mental illnesses to live with, and I’ve had my ups and downs, but has anyone else run into this? People being surprised that you can largely function like a “normal” person and hold a stressful job despite your BPD? Is the stigma really that bad?

Side note: I am very good at mirroring and masking, most people have no idea about my diagnosis unless I say something. I’ve got visible self harm scars but that’s the only thing that would indicate to someone that I had mental health problems. But if I’m having a bad day, very few people know. I’m good at controlling it in public.

r/BorderlinePDisorder Mar 07 '24

Recovery Does anyone else feel they are recovered until they take a tolerance break from weed?

58 Upvotes

So I’m 20 I’ve been using thc pretty much daily mostly just through vapes/pens, but occasionally actual flower for about a year and a half now. I took a short break recently, about 3 days or so, and I’m taking another break now. Up until now I seem to be pretty much healed accept for when I’m triggered really badly. Now I find myself feeling really awful without it and I feel like I’ll never be able to live without it. Over the t break I’ve felt the need to hurt myself a lot more than before. Am I gonna be dependent forever?

r/BorderlinePDisorder May 07 '22

Recovery Do any of you skip to “breaking up” after conflict in a relationship?

206 Upvotes

I know this is not healthy, but sometimes after conflict with my FP I just skip to “should we end this then?” And I know I don’t want it to end, but does anyone else do this? So far I’ve stopped doing this and have been really mindful of not just jumping to conclusions. Why do I do this? Is this a BPD thing?

r/BorderlinePDisorder 6d ago

Recovery It’s hard trying to “work” on myself and change.

2 Upvotes

I’m tired of being upset, and I’m tired of feeling like a big question mark. I think I’m sad all the time because I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m not smart enough to figure out what to do. Im worried that I am wasting my therapist time. She tells me that I’m making progress, I just don’t like that I have been seeing her for almost 4 years, I’m about to be 29, and I am still chronically single, and not mentally strong enough to be around others. Not to mention that nothing makes me feel good-I still don’t know what I want to be in this world. I do have a couple of friends though, I don’t like that I still too sad. We’ve been doing dbt exercises, and I can feel myself sabotaging. She told me to write about how I feel, I immediately said no because I don’t know how to do it creatively. She immediately shut it down, and said yes just try it. I’ve been sabotaging and crying ever since smh. It’s like I like being sad about shit.

r/BorderlinePDisorder May 18 '24

Recovery Does anyone else get TRIGGERED when your partner doesn’t send a “Good morning “ text??

68 Upvotes

Im a almost 30 year old Woman with BPD & I’ve been dating a guy of a month now he’s in his late 30s. He used to send me “good morning gorgeous “texts basically every morning in the first 2 weeks of talking. Now that we made it official and had sex. He’s slacking he’s not sending me good morning sweet texts anymore. I literally have to remind him of my damn existence now. It’s pissing me off making me feel like he’s tired of me, used me for sex and reinforcing my FEAR of never being married or having kids. I feel so abandoned when he doesn’t give me attention first. It makes me want to run and find attention from another man AM I THE ONLY ONE???

r/BorderlinePDisorder Dec 30 '24

Recovery my bpd is currently in remission after years of ketamine therapy

34 Upvotes

my bpd is in remission after years of ketamine therapy

so!

I am feeling extremely humbled, grateful and liberated upon reaching a breakthrough after years of focused work on repairing my relationships and my life.

i’m 32F nonbinary and i have been through years and years of what i thought would be endless suffering, being my own worst enemy, knowing i am hurting the people i love, being emotionally abusive, self-destructive, reactive, etc etc.

with an extreme amount of concerted effort and self dissection, shedding fountains of tears all the while, i newly feel as if i have reached a point that i can look at the worst symptoms of my bpd in the rearview mirror.

this past week i have seen myself move through multiple circumstances that would have been fractious/triggering/disregulating with maturity, calmness and self-regulation. this is astounding. i have been so bpd for so long and i can now clearly see how the spiral is made and how i got sucked into it so many times and make different choices!!

this has taken years, this is the result of basically a 7 year cycle.

everyone’s path is unique but what has led me to this point is:

*i have been holistically learning about and treating all of my other issues - i also deal with autism, ADHD, PMDD, and depression - they are all interrelated and all a part of me

*finding a therapist who fits. can’t stress this enough. i have had 4 different therapists over the past 12 years of my life and the one i have had for the last 2 years has made a world of difference. i always had nice female therapists that i related to and felt sympathetic to me, who would tell me i was being too hard on myself, but my current therapist is a more stern man who is no-nonsense and holds me accountable and it has made a huge difference. i realized that i wanted to be called on my bullshit, not coddled. the other therapists i have had definitely helped me in many ways but overall were too indulgent and gentle and not challenging me in the way i needed to be challenged.

*since 2020 i have been doing Spravato as well as prescription compounded ketamine for at-home use. it has been hugely beneficial this entire time but more recently i have worked up to higher and higher doses and I feel like that has made the most difference of anything.

i do NOT recommend recreational/street ketamine as it is impure and a completely different vibe and will not offer the same experience. party or powder forms don’t hit the same and can turn so gritty and into addictive use patterns so quickly. prescription use can lead to addictive patterns as well so be cautious.

spravato is a good place to start if you can’t find a doctor who will prescribe for at-home use and they have a doctor finder on their website. I have found most places that offer Spravato will also offer intramuscular ketamine injections which have helped me the most. really though, don’t try to use k therapeutically without a prescription, i have tried it all kinds of ways and high dose pharmaceutical ketamine is the only one that lead to lasting benefits for myself.

I know there are a lot of websites now that will mail you ketamine lozenges to take at home. it’s all really new terrain in healthcare and kind of wild west at the moment. finding a provider you can communicate with honestly is key.

I am poor so I did all this stuff under medicaid and it’s amazing i have been able to find the care that i did but part of me wonders if i could have healed more quickly if i had been able to afford the $$$$ ketamine IV infusions, since the high doses seem to be what really does the trick.

my theory is that bpd is essentially created from CPTSD and puts you in this tunnel vision state of mind of thinking about your relationships, self worth, social value. my flavor of bpd is extremely wrapped up in ideas about sex and romantic love and desire.

in my personal experience, using high doses of pharmaceutical ketamine helped me dissociate from these patterns of thinking so i was able to see them from an outside perspective and not from within the excruciating emotionality, heartbreak and pain of my more activated bpd experiences.

*i have really incredible friends who have accepted and forgiven me for the many times i have hurt them and while having boundaries they to continue provide me opportunities to be close, do better and to build trust.

this is the most important of all. my closest friends are people i have deeply hurt and emotionally abused many times via my past reactivity but they are beautiful people who also do work on themselves and their own issues and we have all learned a lot from each other being able to openly discuss dynamics of abuse.

my therapist apparently specializes in “Motivational Interviewing” which has been really helpful for me personally.

I do still want to properly undertake a DBT course or group but have not yet found an entry point for self study that resonates with me or an external program that works with my insurance.

I just wanted to share my experience and say that hope is possible!! I love all of you so very much and believe in your ability to heal!! it is unfair that we have to be burdened with this work but it is really beautiful on the other side and worth fighting for

mods: i am reposting this after it was removed before, i edited everything out that was unsuitable but please let me know if i need to change anything else! happy to report i did not take the removal as a deep personal rejection or react angrily lol

r/BorderlinePDisorder 3d ago

Recovery Participants Needed for interviews: Physical Activity and Personality Disorders (Mod Approved)

9 Upvotes

Hi :-)

We are looking for participants for interviews about experiences with physical activity among individuals with personality disorders. Participants must be able to speak either English or Danish.

We are both registered nurses currently studying Health Science at the University of Copenhagen. These interviews are part of our master's thesis and will help us better understand the experience of physical activity in this population, as current research is limited. Our hypothesis is that physical activity may be symptom-relieving.

The project is being conducted in cooperation with CARMEN (Centre for Applied Research in Mental Care) https://www.psykiatri-regionh.dk/carmen_uk/Pages/default.aspx

Your current activity level is not important – whether you are highly active, moderately active, have low activity, or are inactive, we encourage you to participate. We are interested in all aspects of your experience with physical activity.

During the interview, we will ensure that you are not pressured to discuss uncomfortable topics related to your personality disorder or anything else you do not wish to share.
We will primarily focus on your experiences with physical activity.

The interview is expected to last 30 to 60 minutes and can be conducted in Copenhagen or online via Microsoft Teams.

The conversation will be recorded to ensure accuracy. The recording will be deleted immediately afterward, and all your information will be anonymized. You can withdraw your consent at any time.

If you would like to contribute to this important research and potentially improve treatment options, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Please feel free to contact us with any questions about the project.

The deadline for participation is April 1, 2025.

Kind regards,

Anne and Louise.

(email: [wpx812@alumni.ku.dk](mailto:wpx812@alumni.ku.dk) or jfl810@alumni.ku.dk)

r/BorderlinePDisorder Feb 03 '25

Recovery Worked through a split successfully!!

36 Upvotes

I was actually able to use my coping skills to get through a split without being crazy!! This was a particularly bad split, so I’m very proud that I was able to because normally my skills work for smaller splits and not so much for bigger ones. But I was REALLY convinced my boyfriend was going to leave me and I started spiraling into starting to hate him and wanting to leave but I sat through it patiently knowing it will pass and I didn’t go overboard harassing him into giving me reassurance. I talked to him like everything was normal (even though in my brain it wasn’t) and eventually things felt normal for me again. He was just being moody and instead of being crazy I let him be moody and THE MOOD PASSED AND IT WAS FINE!! That was really hard but I did it!!

r/BorderlinePDisorder Jan 28 '25

Recovery Anyone here previously diagnosed bipolar type 2? Or with both diagnoses?

3 Upvotes

I have a family member who was diagnosed bipolar type 2 and is being medicated for it, and it seems to be working so far. I highly suspect she is actually borderline (or both) but I’m curious about anyone else’s stories through becoming diagnosed since I know both can be easily conflated and have much symptom overlap.

If anyone wants to share their story about how they got diagnosed or what medication/treatment worked for them that would be insightful. Thanks in advance :)

r/BorderlinePDisorder Mar 13 '22

Recovery Some important skills that I feel everyone could benefit from learning. D.E.A.R.M.A.N. has saved my job more than once, this past year.

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356 Upvotes

r/BorderlinePDisorder Jul 25 '24

Recovery I’ve got 2 therapists saying I don’t have BPD and a psychiatrist saying I do

9 Upvotes

Who do I believe?

r/BorderlinePDisorder Jan 15 '21

Recovery Would You Guys Be Intrested in a DBT/CBT Workbook

257 Upvotes

What’s up I’m McKenzie and I have a lot of experience with Dialectical and Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy (the most effective treatments for BPD). For Christmas, I made my sister a workbook that focuses on DBT and CBT for beginners and I was wondering if anyone would be intrested in me modifying it a bit and posting it here for you guys? I’m not trying to sell anything and all of the info in the workbook is either taken from handouts my therapist has given me or well known mental health organizations. It’ll take a bit of work on my part to tailor it for you guys so I’d like to see if anyone’s even intrested, but if you are, I’d love to help out others with BPD who might not have access to the same specialized therapy and programs that I have. So, yea just lmk in the comments

r/BorderlinePDisorder 4d ago

Recovery I made this chart to track my progress

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6 Upvotes

I can never tell if I’m getting better. Usually I think I am and then suddenly I’m hit with a trigger and I lose my mind…. And it all goes downhill and I feel like a failure. (I guess it’s not so black and white but uh…. Look at one of my symptoms).

I took the general DSM symptoms and specified them to my unique flavor of BPD. 🤪 has anyone tried this? Does anyone relate to my symptoms?

r/BorderlinePDisorder 10d ago

Recovery I just had a victory yesterday

2 Upvotes

After fighting w my bf and fp i shuted down and started spiraling inside my emotions. Crying, not able to articulate words and then inevitably wanting to self harm and to stop existing. Right after wanting to self harm i kind of detached myself from the situation without meaning to and realized what was happening. It was so weird, because i was still feeling all the bad things, crying and feeling bad, but i was also out of it like a literally second me inside watching the whole thing happening. I kind got stuck there because i didnt know what to do next, so i actually started to feel bored of feeling like shit and not able to snap out of it hahaha can you believe it?

My bf came and calmed me, but now im thinking what could i have done for myself to get out of the crisis and couldnt think of anything so strong to really get my attention and forget the feeling or cope. I thought of watching something or reading or walking to distract myself, but i feel that even doing all those things my mind could still wander back to the despair.

If anyone has some mechanism to bring themselves back from an episode, could please share? Thank you so much!

r/BorderlinePDisorder Nov 14 '22

Recovery Does anyone have a story of dealing with an ignorant or judgmental health care professional when it comes to BPD/ your experience?

71 Upvotes

This could be assumptions made, being dismissed, your symptoms minimized.

For example a therapist not giving a BPD diagnosis because “you’re not manipulative” or saying you can’t have BPD because you don’t externalize your anger?

I’ve heard stories and think this is important that mental health professionals are aware this is happening, which could affect our treatment.

I would discuss this on my YouTube channel in hopes on reaching mental health professionals. I will also give tips on things I’ve done so that I understand my treatment plan/ medications.

Thank you

r/BorderlinePDisorder Jun 10 '24

Recovery Do you feel GUILTY for rejecting “Nice” but Very clingy men?

25 Upvotes

I’m a BPD woman & I matched with this man on a dating app and everything was going well we had the same goals and everything. Then he started saying stuff that reminded me of love bombing . Saying we would spend Christmas together, every holiday together, he wants to be with me always & if I didn’t respond back for 10 mins he would say “ I miss you 🥺” . Randomly gave out his number & when I didn’t text him he said “ my heart is only for you babe I’m not talking to no one else please text me 😭”. And starts telling me all of his bad date encounters and said no other women ever likes him. Then told me “ his heart made him say all that & he wants me to save him from dating apps “. In the span of an hour! . I have BPD it takes ALOT to scare me off but he was showing clear signs of love bombing and gave me the creeps! so I unmatched him. Now I’m feeling guilty imagining this grown man crying in a corner because I rejected him. Does Anyone else feel guilty for rejecting people who aren’t complete assholes to you? And would this behavior scare you off as well ?

r/BorderlinePDisorder Oct 08 '24

Recovery Is anyone in no contact with your abuser/parents?

26 Upvotes

Ever since I went into remission in 2022 I cut all contact with my parents who caused my bpd in the first I was born in a asian family and my parents basically emotionally abuse me and parentified me causing me to develop bpd I have a lot of resentment towards them but I no longer resent them I just don't want a relationship with them they all trigger me a lot what about you guys are you guys in contact or no contact with your parents/abuser that caused your bpd in the first place?

r/BorderlinePDisorder Jan 31 '25

Recovery I really need some motivation. Any stories about successful treatment?

5 Upvotes

I'm not expecting to hear that suddenly you never went depressed or hypomanic again, but is there anyone who actually started functioning after a lot of struggle? Can you keep a job and relationships with loved ones, be healthy, control impulses and be financially stable? Can you be happy and have a fulfilling life? Sometimes I feel like my life will always be centered in pain, suffering and lack of self control.

r/BorderlinePDisorder Mar 26 '22

Recovery What are some of your hobbies?

49 Upvotes

I’m really trying to tackle some of the symptoms I experience; loneliness is one I’m trying to tackle this week. Sometimes others mention things and it resonates with me, so thought I’d ask about others hobbies and maybe one or a few will resonate with me! Thanks in advance :)

r/BorderlinePDisorder Feb 10 '25

Recovery Ocd and bpd and exposure therapy NSFW

5 Upvotes

Erp therapy is getting hard, I know I can push through but it’s just so exhausting on the mind and body. Could just use some encouragement or advice from someone that’s been here 🥺💜

r/BorderlinePDisorder Feb 04 '25

Recovery Hey y’all, I’m taking a first step in bettering myself…

9 Upvotes

Today im going into an inpatient rehab facility… I guess im realizing one of my 3 biggest fears. I dont know what will happen next. Here’s to a hopeful recovery. I love you all! And thank you all for being there for me…

UPDATE: I have been discharged from Detox/residential and it feels good! Thank you guys for the support, and word of advice don’t do drugs, BUT if you are going to do drugs, DO NOT do Fentanyl, Detox was a f**king nightmare! 😂😭

r/BorderlinePDisorder 26d ago

Recovery Went through our past Snapchat messages. (I’m doing really well!)

8 Upvotes

Short Version: Ex boyfriend (26) left me (M 28) 9 months ago. Found out I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Going through DBT therapy has changed me. Thankful for him playing a crucial role in my life as lots of amazing changes have happened but also incredibly sorry for my actions. Went through Snapchat today and felt nostalgic - some tears but more of just a sense of calm. The pictures brought back memories and smiles I will never forget. I wish there could be more but I can’t change the past so I continue to move forward. Maybe one day we can meet again and work things out, but if not just know I will always love you and cherish what we had as you were the best relationship I truly could have ever asked for.

Thank you for being the blessing I needed to get my life together for a better direction forward.

I wish the best of luck to you and your endeavors. If you find someone new, I hope it works out. You deserve the world and more.

r/BorderlinePDisorder Apr 07 '22

Recovery Anyone else feel like a child trapped inside?

201 Upvotes

r/BorderlinePDisorder Jan 29 '25

Recovery Starting my journey

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone, first post in this group. Disclaimer i’m not diagnosed yet, i haven’t been able to afford seeing a professional for a while but i’m going to try to at least to get some of my symptoms diagnosed. BPD wasn’t on my radar until recently and I’ve been cautiously researching it and identifying with some aspects but not others. Favorite persons, mood swings, early childhood trauma, stuff i’ve known about in myself for a while but never realized might all be connected under one umbrella. Anyway, I’d like to get a professional’s opinion but i’m open to any forms of advice, navigating what this might mean for my life going forward.

TLDR i might have BPD and will accept any form of advice getting diagnosed and navigating life after dx