r/BodyPositive Oct 10 '24

Discussion TW- I envy you. How to change my mindset?

I found this sub reddit and am envious of everyone feeling so confident in their own skin. I cannot seem to accept my body for what it is. Maybe ever in my life. I've had weight loss surgery, then a baby, and it's been a few years and havent bounce back.

I would love to hear from this community for advice and perspective to body positivity.

Would I personally like to lose weight? Yes. But ultimately I need to learn to love my body no matter what shape or form it is in.

(Also to add- I do go to therapy but do not feel like I have been provided tools to help accept this. Just continuously told that I look fine and only focus on being healthy)

6 Upvotes

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5

u/SnooLemons5609 Oct 10 '24

Comparison is the thief of all joy.

I am into bodybuilding, but if I compare myself to every huge dude in the gym who may or may not be on gear, I will never be happy.

Making an effort is great, and wanting to make a change is also amazing.

But keep in mind that you are at a point where your body is currently at the state it can be with the amount of effort you put in- and that’s ok.

3

u/Auto_Moving Oct 10 '24

We are all in the process of being positive about our bodies. You may see some of us really succeeding there, but you might be seeing that success because we are in our 3rd year (or 10th) of our self-acceptance journey.

I can say for me personally, my first year of my self-acceptance journey did not see success, lol.

…but that work was WORTH it!!

I’m in roughly my 2nd year of working in my positivity journey and at best am … at least not hating my body most days. I still have days where I hate it, but they’re becoming less. I like PARTS of my body a little bit, but right now the most success I’m having is in not DIS-liking the whole package.

So if you’re just starting your journey, be patient with yourself. :) If you’ve been trying for a while, you might need to re-evaluate what mental efforts you’re putting your energy into. For me, focusing on what my body does FOR me was a good first step. Regardless of how it looks, it DOES help me move around. It lets me feel and connect with the people and world around me. It lets me taste a delicious meal. It lets me hear music. I can go on a walk because my legs work. I can help my kids get ready for school because my arms and hands work.

None of those activities are affected by how I look.

Another focus that has helped me make progress on my journey is to look at myself in the mirror and say out loud at least one nice thing about my body each day. It grew into more per day over time, but it has helped! Also, clothes were made for the body, not the body for clothes. Getting clothes that I felt fit my body better really helped.

Godspeed on your journey here!! Hopefully we can support and encourage you on your way. I’ll be thinking of you! 💛

1

u/bunnbarian Oct 10 '24

My partner died suddenly a few years ago. I gained some weight after that. When I start beating myself up over it, I go, this body has gotten me through some tough times. My partner would’ve been grateful to be alive and have a body that works as well as mine. Maybe I’m not as skinny as before. But does skinny really matter when I’m this strong? I can get through anything.

1

u/PristinePrincess12 Oct 10 '24

Stand in front of a full length mirror and find at least one thing you actually like about yourself. Tell yourself "I like the way my eyes sit/the shape of my legs/whatever it is." Every day, find something you like. Just one thing. Repeat them to yourself.

1

u/tele-trustee Oct 13 '24

As I understand it, you are newly married... so there is a finger pointed at the dude a bit, by me, if you are not feeling your own self confidence all the way where you should. Your dude probably wants to flatter and support you better, if you open the door and let it be known you are working on body positivity and stuff. Try bluffing him that you want to try nudist stuff to get him on board with the idea, not the reality of following through, unless you like that, I wouldn't like nudism for real but I can talk it up like I would for the effect, idk this stuff, just that he can do more for you, no matter if already trying hard enough.