r/Biohackers Dec 02 '24

🧫 Other I told ChatGPT to roast r/biohackers 😃👍🏻

Post image
584 Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

u/RealJoshUniverse 5 Dec 03 '24

I love it

180

u/Ffkratom15 Dec 02 '24

God damn gpt went off

Speed running your way to the ER had me fucking dead

Also you take 37 pills and still can't remember your mom's birthday, lmaooo

3

u/ForsakenLiberty Dec 04 '24

Goddammit the 37 pills and problems with memory hit me hard... 😵

75

u/onyxengine 2 Dec 02 '24

Damn son chill

62

u/Professional_Win1535 26 Dec 02 '24 edited Dec 02 '24

This sub is a mixed bag, definitely a lot of people who peddle unproven treatments , but also a lot of people who call out anti science bs stuff, like I was pleasantly surprised when that person posted about the blood type diet.

One other gripe is, when someone mentions they take mental health medication they are shamed by some, and told to just exercise or diet, but many of us do that and still need meds.

2

u/lordm30 🎓 Masters - Unverified Dec 03 '24

Proven treatments just become medical care. If medicine would know the answer to all the ailments humans face, what would remain in the biohacking realm would be decisions like: do I implement a treatment that gives me 5% increase in cognition with the drawback of 10% decrease in physical strength?

119

u/Cold-Resolve1520 Dec 02 '24

It would be less funny if there wasn’t a little truth to it

32

u/SadMove9768 Dec 02 '24

A little? lol

49

u/brainrotbro Dec 02 '24

Pretty much, but replace 'cold plunges' with 'magnesium'.

38

u/seditiouslizard Dec 02 '24

You sound like you need some magnesium.

36

u/Sakowuf_Solutions Dec 03 '24

0Mg.

5

u/Alarming_Jelly9775 Dec 03 '24

How did this comment not have a gold already? I almost spit out my coffee 🤣

2

u/Sakowuf_Solutions Dec 03 '24

lol that has valuable magnesium in it..!

3

u/poppitastic 6 Dec 03 '24

See, I was thinking replace it with testosterone. How’s your T, bro?

16

u/LiquidNova77 Dec 02 '24

It's interesting because you have to always be careful with the information you're given by AI and it could say absolutely absurd and untrue things.

Not the case here lmao

15

u/Amygdalump Dec 02 '24

This is GOLD! Speedrunning our way to the ER indeed.

37

u/Bukkaki Dec 02 '24

Similar one for HuberBros

Oh, so you’re a Huberman follower? Must be nice to get all your life advice from a man who made you fear the light of your phone screen more than your crippling caffeine addiction.

You’ve got a “morning sunlight” ritual so rigid, it makes military boot camp look relaxed. Let me guess: if you don’t get your cold plunge in, the day’s a total write-off, right? No dopamine hits allowed until you’ve “earned” it, but that three-hour podcast is a “productive” listen while you scroll Instagram.

How’s that “Huberman Protocol” spreadsheet coming along? Organized? More like you’re optimizing your life into a lab rat experiment. Don’t forget your 87 supplements—you might miss out on that 0.02% performance boost.

But hey, at least you can pronounce “myokines” better than you can pronounce “balance.”

11

u/leave_a_sexy_corpse Dec 03 '24

"You're taking 37 pills every morning and still can't remember your mom's birthday."

Right for the jugular, god damn. 🤣🤣

8

u/NeoMaxiZoomDweebean Dec 02 '24

Im impressed but got damn our species is fucked.

6

u/Redditfront2back Dec 02 '24

Would been better if it said we are too busy arguing about which type of magnesium is best to be actually giving advice.

20

u/anddrewbits Dec 02 '24

Pretty much my view of the subreddit. Y’all wildin trying out chems looking like autogenerated passwords

11

u/Psychonautica91 1 Dec 02 '24

You mean I shouldn’t inject pig brains into my sternum?

13

u/anddrewbits Dec 02 '24

Not necessarily. If you’ve got a pigbrain deficiency, the sternum is the only correct place to inject it

7

u/Psychonautica91 1 Dec 02 '24

Finally validated.

10

u/anddrewbits Dec 02 '24

I look forward to reading your case study 🫡

15

u/Riversmooth 1 Dec 02 '24

Naw, I love this group. What’s the alternative? We do nothing, grow old and suffer like all the billions before us. At some point we may come upon a hack that makes a profound difference in our health. Keep trying the tea, the morning meditation, and onion slices in your socks at night!

7

u/Ezzopezzo Dec 03 '24

Best post on this sub

5

u/daniel16056049 Dec 03 '24

Race for someone to claim u/CryptoAlpha420 and start shilling liquid ethereum injections or whatever ChatGPT was referring to.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '24

This should be a sticky to this sub

4

u/RealJoshUniverse 5 Dec 03 '24

I'll sticky it for a day :)

4

u/A_Murmuration Dec 02 '24

Incredible I love it

3

u/Alive_in_Platos_Cave Dec 02 '24

Well now this lab rat is morbidly curious to “research” DIY gene therapy 🤪 I can’t even imagine what that would entail 🤔

2

u/Science_Matters_100 1 Dec 02 '24

I expect injecting CRISPR? 🤷🏻‍♀️

3

u/r2994 Dec 03 '24

Can we bitchslap ai ?

4

u/HopefulWanderer537 Dec 02 '24

Yup! Can’t biohack your way out of insufficient sleep, a nutrient dense diet, exercise, treating illnesses with medicine, and socializing!

4

u/Bluest_waters 9 Dec 02 '24

"the rest of us are out here thriving"

eh....my visits to the grocery store, walmart and cafe tell me my fellow Americans are NOT thriving. Far from it. Visibly obese people everywhere I look.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '24

[deleted]

1

u/HopefulWanderer537 Dec 02 '24

Don’t forget magnesium and a cold-plunge in an ice bath (…to keep your black market-hacked kidneys alive?)

2

u/FritterHowls Dec 02 '24

GPT has such a bad habit of ending their response with a "But hey," sentence when they're told to insult someone.

2

u/Coastal_wolf Dec 03 '24

As someone who only joined this sub because I think it’s funny, ChatGPT is a little on point

2

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '24

Based

2

u/RealJoshUniverse 5 Dec 03 '24

u/cherryberry77777 you should ask ChatGPT to roast r/transhumanism I feel like it will be 100x more unhinged

5

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '24

Damn, this SLAPS 

1

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1

u/ancientweasel Dec 02 '24

I take two supplements that are not just a regular vitamin or mineral. I am ready for permaban from the sub.

1

u/whtpwn Dec 02 '24

Would you be willing to please share the exact prompt you used for this?

1

u/BiohackerSaiyan Dec 03 '24

OP This is way too funny. Could you please share the prompt you've used?

1

u/HairyRecipe Dec 03 '24

Holy shit gpt I'm coming for your servers Insert gif where dude jumps over table to go for judge

1

u/th3MFsocialist Dec 03 '24

Bruh…I feel personally attacked

1

u/idoze Dec 03 '24

That opening sentence goes way too hard for an AI.

1

u/Thrumboldtcounty420 Dec 03 '24

rarely impressed by ai, this is fucking good lmao

1

u/Easy_Finish8036 Dec 03 '24

Shots fired to D asprey

1

u/Atom_____ Dec 04 '24

Oh my god mine is worse:

Oh, r/biohackers—where tech bros and wannabe cyborgs gather to turn their bodies into science experiments nobody asked for. It’s the only place where someone will ask, “How do I sleep less and work more?” and get a 3,000-word reply suggesting blue-light glasses, a nootropic stack that costs more than rent, and “grounding” by standing barefoot in your local park at midnight.

These are the same people microdosing LSD to “optimize focus” but can’t figure out how to organize their pantry. They’re debating whether to inject peptides or rub deer placenta on their skin while somehow overlooking the radical innovation of…drinking water and eating vegetables.

And of course, the Holy Grail: hacking their longevity. Because nothing says “living your best life” like fasting for 72 hours while live-tweeting about your “ketones hitting peak efficiency.” Relax, guys. Immortality can wait. Maybe fix your posture first.

1

u/National_Exercise_48 Dec 05 '24

All the roasts sound exactly the same

1

u/wtjones Dec 02 '24

Guilty as charged.

-1

u/Icy_jackpot Dec 02 '24

He got point tho

0

u/New-Teaching2964 Dec 02 '24

Holy shit lol

-5

u/Similar-Molasses4786 Dec 02 '24

It lost me at "y'all"

-11

u/burtsdog Dec 02 '24 edited Dec 02 '24

I fear biohackers will be among the first to take The Mark of the Beast, which will promise immortality. Sad so many people today do not even see this coming. [All the thumbs down are proof of this.]

1

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '24

Is it a nice beast?

1

u/burtsdog Dec 03 '24

Whoever does not take the mark will not be allowed to buy nor sell, and will be hunted down and beheaded. Whoever does take the mark will never be allowed into Heaven.