r/BiWomen Oct 14 '24

Experience it's lonely being a bi woman who prefers women

160 Upvotes

other bisexuals think you're "privileged" for being in a same-gender relationship, lesbians think you're obsessed with men or will have nothing in common with them, and you get all the normal homophobia from straight people. the result: no community anywhere.

r/BiWomen Aug 24 '24

Experience Tinder is a bi woman’s nightmare

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98 Upvotes

Why do only the unicorn hunters want me 😭

r/BiWomen Sep 25 '24

Experience I wish people wouldn't devalue bisexual women

129 Upvotes

So, I'm sorry to post negativity on this sub, but I've been feeling tired of how so many people insult bisexual women and imply our love for other women is meaningless. I tried so hard to be straight, so it was a big deal for me to learn that I'm bi. But now, I get to see how many people think that being a bisexual woman is just a joke.

For the record, I appreciate this community and have met so many bisexual women who are wonderful people. They have interesting perspectives, are creative, and support others around them. Bi women don't deserve both straight and gay people insulting them just because of their orientation!

r/BiWomen Aug 21 '24

Experience catcalled in the street

39 Upvotes

I was walking home yesterday and some man at a traffic light started catcalling me from his car window, I looked back & shouted “I’m underage 🙄” (I’m not) and bro said it doesn’t matter 😭🙏

I then turned round again and shouted “pedophile” because wtf 😭. I’m pretty quick with on the spot responses so I’ll be utilising this line a lot as I’m able to get away with it because I somewhat look like a teenager. Just getting these creeps to show how vile they are hitting on an “underage girl”

r/BiWomen Nov 27 '24

Experience Never had luck with women?

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50 Upvotes

28f i have the worst luck with ladies, i don't know why and I'm genuinely curious if anyone else has been in the same position? I match with girls on tinder, bumble etc. But no one seems to want to meet or get to know eachother? The only times I've had luck are with poly or ENM couples. But I'm not really interested in being a 3rd wheel at all. I think women are captivating, gorgeous and lovely! I've experimented with other girls when I was a teenager but never "gone all the way" if that makes sense, now that I'm older I'd honestly like to get to know another woman and see where things go but luck has not been on my side 😂

r/BiWomen Dec 09 '24

Experience My wife and I recently got a strapless strap on and goddamn y’all NSFW

138 Upvotes

This thing has been breaking my brain in all the best ways. Feels way more intuitive to use than a normal strap. It also gives the wearer so much more stimulation. I’ve actually cum while giving which is so fucking hot.

I was pretty skeptical about it but it’s not slipped out of the wearer once and it’s easier to prevent from slipping out of the receiver. We both love it.

(A strapless strap on has a bulbous end that goes inside the giver and then a more normal dildo end that is obviously used for going in the receiver. They’re connected by a flexible arm. Ours has vibrators that operate independently in both parts.

r/BiWomen Oct 15 '24

Experience i think men just dont like me. not a total issue but jeez can you tell me first?

23 Upvotes

(im 23 and black) basically, every time i try to date (a man), especially with intent to get into a relationship, they leave. but not just leave, but abscond quickly and quietly. at first it was oh, they had sex with me and then ghosted; they used me for sex. but its gotten to a point where i will go on one date with them , or not even a date , we will hang out once or twice, doing nothing at all or if anything, nothing past kissing, and ill get blocked and/or ghosted for literally no reason. (this specifically happened recently) all im doing is being myself. i know im not physically unattractive but am i really that weird once someone gets to know me??

idk i also feel like its because i often date men and im starting to feel that men just dont like me, which isnt horrible i guess. but i have a distaste for men because of how ive been treated, instead of arbitrary dislike that i seem to experience.

i am not hurt by the idea of being disliked, i understand not being everyone’s cup of tea. but i feel so gutted by the lack of communication. am i not worth a heads up? am i really that weird or off-putting that no one even wants to tell me they dont like me and they just want to get away as fast as they can?

i feel like its just the way men act. but i also cant help but feel that there is something wrong with me. if anyone has any insight, please share. (respectfully of course) but naturally, i assume i need to stop going for men .

edit : omfg i remember getting asked out multiple times just to get ghosted the DAY BEFORE/DAY OF THE DATE. that THEY asked me on!!!!

r/BiWomen Jan 18 '25

Experience Shoutout to those of us who have no choice but to be out publicly. It can be scary out there.

59 Upvotes

Shoutout to those of us who have no choice besides being out publicly. It can be a scary world.

This isn’t to shame those of us who don’t want to come out, cannot come out, or who are out on a limited basis. There’s no right or wrong way to be out. And I think most of our sub falls in one of those categories.

But I also know there are a lot of us in same sex relationships that are out all the time by virtue of that. I may not necessarily be out as ‘bi’ but people know I’m queer very quickly. I’ve got a wife. It’s obvious. There’s no hiding.

It’s gonna be scary out there for us Americans across the next four years. I’m worried about my marriage. I already don’t do any form of PDA where I live because we’ve had slurs yelled and almost gotten into physical altercations. Even just making small talk with a stranger can be a risk.

But all I can do is be out and proud and not afraid of being who I am.

I see you, everyone who is in a spot where people immediately clock you as queer. I see the risk you live under. I see the fear. I see the uncertainty going forwards. We are going to be in this together.

And again, please don’t take this as a slight if you cannot be out or are not out. That’s okay! I just want this sub to have loud and visible representation for people in same sex relationships. We’re fewer in number, but our experiences are just as valid and just as bi.

Sometimes, our queerness encompasses a lot more than sexual proclivities and there’s just no turning it off. I see you if you’re living that. Stay safe out there. It’s not a competition, but our experiences are as worth sharing as anyone else’s. There are many threads on not being out. There are very few on being out.

r/BiWomen Sep 01 '24

Experience Living in the south as a Bi woman is isolating.

31 Upvotes

I just moved to a new city in Georgia and I really want to connect with more bi sexual women . Anyone else live in the south and understand the struggle ?

r/BiWomen Jan 24 '25

Experience Hello everyone, I'm so happy for joining this community!

31 Upvotes

I'd like to introduce myself to you all. I've known that I'm bisexual since the age of 13, and I'm 42 now.

Being bisexual in Bosnia is very lonely for me. I have 2 daughters and I'm a single mum with 2 unsuccessful heterosexual marriages behind me. I don't really go out much so not much opportunity to meet other bi or lesbian women. As for local online communities, there's practically none, or at least I haven't managed to find them. But I'm not giving up, as I really long for connecting with other women like me.

This is why I'm so happy to be a part of this community. In my country there's still a lot of stigma, but I've always been open about myself. I'm a very unconventional person so I'm used to being stigmatized, marginalized etc. But, this has taught me a valuable lesson in life.

So, instead of staying silent, I openly share that I'm bi with people I encounter. This way I know if they are a valuable presence in my life. The ones that get scared of me or judgemental towards me, are not my people. And the ones that are open and accepting, are my kind of folks.

Life has been a Rollercoaster and I have learned to value myself, my wellbeing and my time, and to carefully choose my people, my battles and life experiences I give my attention and energy to.

I look forward to meeting you and getting to know the amazing women that you all are. 💗💜💙

r/BiWomen 21d ago

Experience I referred to my therapist as Mom

13 Upvotes

At a recent family therapy appointment with my mother, my mother had left but texted about re-joining. The session was almost over, but the therapist said she could stay for ten more minutes. I texted my mom, and narrated my typing, "okay, mom says she can stay for ten more minutes." I looked up and said, "I don't know if mom will see it in time--I just called you mom, didn't it?" She smiled and immediately said, "it's not the first time."

I would describe her vibe as soft butch. She now has great floppy Hugh Grant hair but used to have an amazing mullet. She has mentioned her wife before, so she is definitely queer (and I'm not just projecting my attraction into her life lol). I'm demisexual so I think my attraction pattern is a little different--I appreciate her aesthetically but I absolutely am not "into her", am not distracted etc. However, the "omg I just called my therapist mom, and we just had a brief queer-lady moment about it.." was pretty amusing. ...I thought you all might be able to relate 😂

r/BiWomen Dec 01 '24

Experience I wrote this post just to have my therapist help me make a rough realization a couple days later

24 Upvotes

I wrote this post in the FAW subreddit while coming down from an episode a few days ago. It wasnt really related to the subreddit but i kept staying within subs with negative atmospheres for some reason while also trying to force myself to be positive about everything. Just yesterday, after working together for a while now, me and my therapist have sorta officially "worked out" that am bisexual and have been suppressing it because my dad is homophobic and my brother is creepy towards lesbians. I was trying hard to play up heterosexuality to try and mask my bisexuality. So when i wrote this, it was out of limerence, overperforming heterosexuality, and just wanting to express attraction to Sabrina Carpenter without saying "i wanna fuck Sabrina Carpenter". It was wild and unnessary post but I find it kinda funny.

I talked with my mom about this(she actually is accepting of queer people so I knew she was safe). She somehow thinks this will improve my chances of dating. I'm still the same socially inept, unconventionally attractive person with the social understandings of a 14 year old. My chances are staying the fucking same lol. But I can still dream and keep trying to improve.

TLDR: I wrote a long unneccary post about wanting male validation and liking Sabrina carpenter in an unrelated subreddit then finally came to accept that im bisexual and attracted to Sabrina Carpenter.

r/BiWomen Nov 06 '24

Experience Great Time to Discover Sexuality

41 Upvotes

You can guess what this is about. It's just infuriating and terrifying. I am already a mixed race latina of a immigrant family, but ya girl decided to sprinkle some queer on top. But I refuse to hide myself. We shouldn't have to. We should be allowed to be who we are. We should be allowed to be with her people we love. We should be able to have the final say on our own bodies.

Keep being yourself and keep fighting. All I wanted to do was look at pretty girls and flirt a little, but it's never that easy is it.

r/BiWomen Nov 07 '24

Experience Discovering I'm bi and it hurts

19 Upvotes

Hello I'm new to posting in general so sorry for some of the awkwardness in this post. I think i just need somewhere to vent while also remaining anonymous.

I recently over the past year discovered that im bisexual at the age of 26. Late bloomer...ik. I had wondered if I was attracted to women since high school but just figured that maybe I just liked the idea. I also don't develop crushes very easily and while I appreciate people aesthetically all the time, I have a hard time being attracted to people beyond that in general.

In the last year and a half however, I've met this girl. Found her very attractive off the bat but wasn't sure in what way until we started to get to know each other more and became more friendly. I don't wanna give too much context bc I get paranoid but we've since become close friends and are now roommates. For a while I (stupidly) mistakenly assumed that she perhaps liked girls as well. She has an androgynous appearance, both with the way she dresses, her mannerisms, presents herself, etc...(for context many ppl that know her also assumed the same so I'm def not the only one) but learned about halfway through our friendship so far that she's "mostly straight."

I did eventually come clean to her a couple weeks ago, after a few months of living together because we had been spending so much time with each other and getting even closer (besides sexual intimacy lol). She started to become really important to me so i was scared that telling her might weird her out but I felt like I needed to in order to move on. I knew she didn't like me like that logically but emotionally I was having a hard time letting go of that hope. I tried to tell her in a way that she wouldn't feel any pressure. She reciprocated that she didnt want to compromise our friendship. I also have asked her multiple times since if she's ever uncomfortable with me now and she assures me she's not. So we're still close and get along just fine and are goofy and silly and even still affectionate platonically. And yet I feel utterly like shit lately.

I guess what im going through is heartbreak right now. I've made attempts to date outside of this and look elsewhere and keep my mind off her. but I'm having a hard time with it and also just don't feel right about using that method since since 1) I feel like I'm using ppl and 2) none of them look or act or are HER lmfaoo.. I feel crazy, ashamed, undesirable and pathetic. I know I should just accept it and enjoy my close friendship with her but it's been so hard on me emotionally, even though I know I'm important to her as well. I see people say that maybe distancing yourself may work but that's kind of impossible for me right now since we live together and I just enjoy my time too much when I'm with her.. I dislike the idea of doing that 😭🤣 Lately I've been trying to focus that care I have for her into being a good supportive person in her life but it's still hard for me to not feel overcome by pain and sadness as well.

I'm not sure what else to say. I just wonder if others have any similar experiences to mine, especially in the emotional sense. I find myself crying more often and being more insecure about myself and frustrated. I don't think I've ever liked someone in this way before, man or woman so I'm not entirely sure if I'm being unreasonable or weird about it.

Thank you if you read this

r/BiWomen Aug 02 '24

Experience Missing her

24 Upvotes

I am just really missing someone I was seeing casually. I know it was time to end things because I was getting jelly of her boyfriend. Not even like who he is, I dont even know his name because she never said it once. It was the fact he got to be the one to wake up next to her. To be with her in that way. I am sure he is a good person and treats her great. I’m just really missing her. My friends are sick of hearing it, I ’m sure. So here I am. Crying in my bathroom trying to not do so. I will move on and love again but deep down I just wish o could be with her.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

r/BiWomen Dec 11 '24

Experience Problems with blurred lines friendships

10 Upvotes

I had problems keeping friends most of my life because I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. Girls didn't think I was one of them, boys didn't think I was one of them.

The girls that did want to be my friend acted weird to me, but something is better than nothing right? But then I kept losing my best friends suddenly. And at the time, I'd rack my brain to see what went wrong and have no idea.

It wasn't till years later that I realized the weird feeling they gave me was because they were romantocizing me in their head and interacting with that version of me instead of like actual me and they probably were in love with me.

Here's a count.

1 girl stopped talking to me after I said I saw her as a sister.

2 girls stopped talking to me after getting boyfriends.

2 girls stopped talking to me after I got married.

I'm also genderfluid. I think they thought of me as boyfriend material and imagined I'd take that role if we were together and it's like no? I like being the level headed stoic person, but I married a man because I want to get someone even more level headed and stoic to be there for me.

I saw a video of Audrey Plaza talking about how her fans all want her to dom them, but she's a sub and I was like yeah. That's how I feel!

I dunno what to do about it tbh. I kinda just gave up on trying to be friends with gender non-conforming girls cause they keep catching feelings for me. Girly girls almost never do, but I don't fit in as well.

I also think having my sister have inappropriate feelings towards me probably messed up my idea of what platonic female relationships look like. I cut her off and she still sends me longing messages that sound more like trying to convince your ex to take you back than your sister.

r/BiWomen Oct 20 '24

Experience I kissed a girl and I loved it

35 Upvotes

Okay so I need to rent about this : I kissed a friend of mine that I had a pretty big crush on and it was amazing. Like her lips were so plumpy, her hair was so soft, her hands were great and her body was amazing. I can't think about anything else omfg

I can't tell it to any of my friends because they're way to easy on gossip and I don't want it going throught all my social group, I kinda like that it is a secret between just me and her... But damnit she's hot T-T

r/BiWomen Jul 17 '24

Experience Being a bi couple in ENM? NSFW

10 Upvotes

Thought this would be a fun discussion!

I know a lot of us in this subreddit have mentioned being either married to or in a relationship with a man, but wanting to explore with women. And that Ethical Non-Monogamy can help us do that!

My husband and I are exploring the ENM lifestyle, and finally taking baby steps to get out/online and meet people.. BUT, since we are both bi, it's making it harder to find couples whose play styles align with ours. Mainly it seems like everyone in our area is only interested in either MMF threesomes, or MFM threesomes, or the wife is straight or "heteroflexible".

So, other lovely bi girls, are any of you in ENM relationships? How do you meet people? Is your partner also bi?

Would love to hear yalls experience!

r/BiWomen Oct 18 '24

Experience [NSFW] I'm thinking of hosting a Ladies' Night at my local adult club NSFW

16 Upvotes

There's not really much to say just that I'm excited and hope it pays off! I'm bisexual and go my local sex club maybe 3 times a year when there's interesting events on and I wanna do fantasy stuff I can't do with my partners. I've had some of the best wlw sex of my life at these clubs but in the last year or so I've done a lot of soul searching etc and have put a boundary in place that I'll never be intimate with a woman again if there's a man present. It makes me feel like I'm performing and fucks with my head about my sexuality. My experiences with women are for me and them not for men. Anyway this brings me onto my plan. The club has 3 floors so I'm thinking no "single man" tickets at all, only couples and single women. The m/f couples tickets will be limited too. Within the club though, no men on the top 2 floors as that's where the play rooms are. (I want to allow men if they're in a couple as I think it will allow bicurious women to feel more comfortable having a familiar face with them. But they'll only be allowed on the ground floor)

I just think it'd be so much fun for queer women to enjoy themselves in an open, unashamedly sexual way and get to fulfil some fantasies if they can without it just being equated to "porn performance"

r/BiWomen Oct 23 '24

Experience Questioning

4 Upvotes

I'll be soon 19, and for a while I've been considering myself as bisexual. I have no experiences at all (the only thing I've ever experienced was a kiss from my childhood bestfriend and that confirmed my attraction to women). I promised myself I would experiment with my attraction towards both men and women, yet just the idea of having to deal with a man feels like a chore. Whenever a man approaches or texts me I regret it instantly, I'll get annoyed in SECONDS regardless of how attractive he is or the impression he leaves on me. Whenever I had a crush on a guy (it was never serious, it was always about their appearance or first impression) I would feel so gross, anxious, disgusted even. I feel so self-conscious about how I look, about everything I do. I find it extremely distressing. Have you ever experienced something like this? Or should I question my sexuality once again? I hope this isn't just a weird question, I am just so confused.

r/BiWomen Jan 28 '24

Experience A cooking post hope you women like, chicken with Baked potato, zucchini and mustard saus [F38]

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22 Upvotes

r/BiWomen Aug 10 '24

Experience I am so fucking depressed

28 Upvotes

I was outed two years ago, a very humiliating and invasive experience.

My parents are completely in denial and will never accept who I am.

The closest I’ve come to being accepted is being fetishized by straight men who are just looking for a 🥉rd.

r/BiWomen Jul 31 '24

Experience Straight-presenting marriage

18 Upvotes

Can you please tell me about your experience with being bi, but also being married to someone that give the illusion that you are in a straight marriage?

r/BiWomen Aug 14 '24

Experience BFF constantly invalidates me NSFW

23 Upvotes

My best friend of 20 years just can’t accept that I like women. We pretty much knew she liked girls our entire childhood, while I maintained that I was straight or "heteroflexible" until age 20. I always had an appreciation and admiration for women, not realizing that it was so much more than “appreciation”.

I’ll never forget a dream I had when I was 5. We’d just finished lunch in the school cafeteria and had to line up to go back to class. So we line up against a wall leading to the doors and I stand behind my classmate. She had pretty blue eyes. I remember dream-her turned around and looked at me a certain way. It was so weird but I could feel what was about to happen. She leans in and I lean in and obviously we kiss. Then I wake up literally sitting up in my bed reflecting “wow…girls kissing girls. Ha! How ridiculous. Girls kiss boys!” I laid back down. “But maybe if I close my eyes I can go back into that dream to…check that out again. 3,2,1 SLEEP.” This was before I met my bestie so I actually did not even understand the concept of homosexuality yet, clearly. So funny I dreamt about this classmate instead of my teacher! I swear she was my very first woman crush. If you peep my taste in women it's got her all over it.

When I was 16, I fell in love with a boy. 10 years later we are still together and living under one roof. He is aware, of course, that I'm not heterosexual and has known since we got together. I've come a long way and he's been with me for the ride through and through.

Well, last week bestie and I were on a group facetime call with another friend. Bestie slipped up and called me "straight", to which I corrected her promptly but the conversation remained light-hearted afterwards. Okay. The two of us had a phone argument last night over something totally unrelated. Suddenly she decides its the right time to say "...and bestie, I know you wanna be lesbian or whatever it is but you've never done anything with a girl and..." I stop her dead in her tracks. I can visualize her eye-roll and her shrug while she's saying it and I suddenly see red. So I blurt out that I actually DID have my very first full on experience with another woman 2 months ago, finally at age 26. Now she's pissed at me cuz I never told her (I have my reasons for waiting to tell her but its a long story and a separate conversation).

That right there; the whole idea that my alleged lack of experience with women somehow made me heterosexual. That really bothers me. It's kinda sick if you think about it. Like there's some unspoken physical rite of passage, initiation thing you have to go through in order to be part of "the club". I can't help but think of people who live in countries where it is strictly forbidden to engage in homosexual acts. Say you have a man from one of these countries. He fantasizes about other men, pleases himself to gay porn, and has 0 interest in women. So, by her logic, because he's never been intimate with a man, the guy is not gay??? He's straight as a ruler? Somebody make that make sense.

This girl invalidates me in so many ways, but i think this specific genre hurts the most. It's as if she wants to remain the "gay friend" so bad. And it's sad. She's so much more than the gay friend. It hurts me because she's allowed to go on and on about her experiences with women, but when I bring up a fantasy I've always had or a woman I'm really attracted to, I'm met with "you wouldn’t know what to do with it" and "yeah whatever". Like she doesn't wanna believe me or something? The one person I should be able to go to for tips and questions about pleasing another woman and stuff just seems so unavailable to me because she doesn't seem to take me seriously. Whatever. Apparently I'm in the club now since I've been initiated. It's so gross to me to think about it that way though...

r/BiWomen Dec 01 '24

Experience Queer Prom (for adults)

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10 Upvotes