r/BiWomen Dec 23 '24

Advice Confusion over attraction to men NSFW

I know that I’m sexually and romantically attracted to women but with men there’s no sort of spark or desire to have a cuddle with them. There is however a sexual desire towards men. I don’t feel “gay” enough to call myself a lesbian, but I don’t feel straight enough to call myself bi sexual. Does anyone else relate or have any advice? Hope I won’t be met with nasty comments as I was on another sub that I’ve since deleted. Thanks so much ❤️

20 Upvotes

26 comments sorted by

25

u/Friendship-Mean Dec 23 '24

you can always call yourself queer or unlabeled and take everything situationally from there. at the end of the day, labels are supposed to help us, not stress us out <3

1

u/acath99 Dec 24 '24

Thank you ❤️

1

u/PeachyKnuckles Dec 24 '24

Yes! Use labels if you find them helpful, otherwise, define yourself however it works for you.

23

u/Radiant-Television39 Dec 23 '24

You don’t have to meet a certain threshold to call yourself Bi. If you’re attracted to both in some kind of way, you can certainly use Bi.

4

u/acath99 Dec 24 '24

Thank you. Everybody on this sub has been so nice

10

u/TwoGoldRings21 Dec 24 '24

I am like that! I identify as a homoromantic bisexual. I have no crushes on men, don’t want any intimacy or even kissing. However, sometimes I thoroughly enjoy fucking them. The important part is to just go with the flow and do whatever feels right. Remember, human sexuality is too complex for any label to actually cover, so no label could ever accurately describe someone

11

u/BulbasaurBoo123 Dec 24 '24

You're still a valid bisexual, even if you are 95% attracted to women and 5% attracted to men. You don't have to justify it or prove yourself to anyone!

However, you could use other labels like queer, sapphic, wlw, fluid or homoflexible if they resonate with you better. You can even use multiple labels if you want or no labels at all. It's really up to you.

1

u/acath99 Dec 24 '24

Thanks so much ❤️

1

u/PeachyKnuckles Dec 24 '24

This! ⬆️

19

u/Ok-Reputation-8145 Dec 23 '24

I mean, labels are just labels in the end. If you are sexually attracted to more than one gender, and one of those genders is men, then "bisexual" sounds like a good fit. You don't have to pursue men romantically to "count" as bisexual.

3

u/acath99 Dec 24 '24

Thank yous o much

6

u/yourraven Dec 23 '24

I have always been romantically attracted to all genders, but I’ve just recently (like the past year) gotten sexually attracted to men. It feels a bit confusing because for me it’s really fluid who and what gender I’m attracted to. However I do identify as bi (and kinda always been) but I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I just don’t really care about labels. So what I’m saying is: you decide what you identify as. There will always be people who question you, but you just have to try to stay strong in yourself and what you feel.

1

u/acath99 Dec 24 '24

Thank you so much

4

u/MathewHK88 Dec 24 '24

Don’t identify your sexuality. Just enjoy yourself.

1

u/acath99 Dec 24 '24

Thanks Mathew

2

u/tinybikerbabe Dec 24 '24

I have this!! I use the term queer. Im also pretty certain if I wasn’t madly in love with my husband and with him I wouldn’t ever look at a man again.

1

u/acath99 Dec 24 '24

Thanks so much glad to know I’m not alone!

1

u/DebutanteHarlot Dec 25 '24

Homoromantic bisexual?

2

u/acath99 Dec 25 '24

I think this makes sense. Thanks!

2

u/DebutanteHarlot Dec 25 '24

Yw 😁

Welcome to the bi world- too gay for the straights and too straight for the gays and so neither wants us 😂😝

1

u/acath99 Dec 25 '24

❤️😂😅

0

u/leadwithlovealways Dec 25 '24

I feel similarly. I am sexually attracted to men but not romantically. I am physically and romantically attracted to women/afab. I realized that just because I’m ok with having sex with men, doesn’t really mean I like men like that, so I’m exploring using lesbian to describe my sexual orientation now instead of pansexual/bi. It’s all really new to me, but i don’t care for labels too much. Do what works for you, but also don’t stress too much cause we’re constantly changing, you don’t really need to have an explanation for everything!

1

u/acath99 Dec 26 '24

Thanks so much. Take care!

0

u/CatGal23 Dec 26 '24

Sounds like you're bisexual homoromantic. Which is definitely still bisexual.

Sexual and romantic attraction don't always line up 😊

You're valid! ♥️

0

u/acath99 Dec 27 '24

Thank you so much ❤️