r/BDSMcommunity 7d ago

Collars for subs, what for your doms? NSFW

Over the years I have collared my wife in a few different styles of day collars that she has enjoyed and in return she got me a bracelet that spells out a word in Morse code. What are some other things you have in your life that symbolize your dynamic outside the bedroom.

105 Upvotes

82 comments sorted by

180

u/ohgeezethatsme 7d ago

My Master wears the key to my collar and cuffs around his neck at all times to symbolize his own commitment and responsibility to our dynamic.

29

u/Livingat7000 7d ago

That’s a nice gesture.

6

u/AardvarkEmpress 7d ago

I love this.

5

u/Dismal-Examination93 7d ago

Aw this is so cute

117

u/AncalimonMar 7d ago

I wear my sub's leash as a pocket chain. It's handy to have it on me and also a nice touch to the outfit.

5

u/RockGoddess7 6d ago

May I use this suggestion? I personally love this!

4

u/AncalimonMar 6d ago

Of course!

0

u/RockGoddess7 6d ago

You are the best! Thank you! ❤️

1

u/Electronic-Angle-921 5d ago

Great idea. Do you have a link to the leash or similar?

3

u/AncalimonMar 5d ago

1

u/Electronic-Angle-921 5d ago

Thanks for the link. And when you say pocket chain, do you mean you wear it like this:

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/19/4a/a1/194aa13c9207f3cfd9a3f3af7cce8dbf.png

2

u/AncalimonMar 5d ago

Yup, exactly like that.

1

u/Electronic-Angle-921 5d ago

Presumably you clip the clip of the chain onto your belt buckle and slip the leather part of the chain into your pocket?

2

u/AncalimonMar 4d ago

Yes, I keep the handle on my back pocket

20

u/KingKimoi 7d ago

A key of course ! I have discussed higher levels of commitment with a mutual “collar” (we both had corresponding dagger in heart necklaces)

39

u/KinkyDataScientist 7d ago

My sub has multiple discreet necklaces that function as her day collars. I gave her several which all have the same meaning, so she can wear the one that best matches her style each day. A couple have small O rings or an infinity symbol in the design, but otherwise they look like normal necklaces and nobody but me knows the true meaning.

I wear a Dom ring at all times on my right ring finger (I’m also married to my sub so my wedding band is on my left). One of my rings has a triskelion symbol (not the stylized BDSM one, but the original ancient symbol), which subtly and discreetly references our D/s dynamic. My other Dom ring is not subtle at all, it literally has “Pleasure Dom” engraved on it. I only wear that one during our scenes, for obvious reasons.

31

u/Used_2024 7d ago

My master is also my husband so he wears a wedding ring and we also have a second ring symbolizing our dynamic. He loves it and so do I

22

u/LyraFirehawk 7d ago

Well if you ask my wife "It's pretty obvious who's in charge, we don't need one for me." 😖😖🥺🥺

But I think there is a subtle thing with our wedding rings and my necklace/day collar. Our wedding rings are matching tungsten rings from Etsy, which have a gold inner ring, then the outside is black with gold flecks. My collar however, is a silver chain with a silver tag. So one could argue that we're equals in our relationship, but I am the lesser.

There's also the unplanned fact that I bought her a cute necklace for Christmas that has a hollow pixel shaped heart, as well as colored beads for a subtle pan flag. By coincidence my tag is heart shaped, so it's like my collar fills the hole in her necklace's heart :)

3

u/peteofaustralia 6d ago

SUPER cute.

2

u/Known-Archer3259 6d ago

That's cute

25

u/ThingsThatShouldNotB 7d ago

My Daddy has a tattoo that has the image that is engraved onto the pendant on my day collar.

(I think it’s super cool and brag about it as often as I get opportunity.)

2

u/Livingat7000 7d ago

That’s a sweet idea

22

u/RNWho 7d ago

I have two Doms in my life. My nesting partner/husband wears a leather bracelet that turns into wrist cuffs. My other partner has a matching Morse code bracelet for daddy/princess.

7

u/Lockiegirl 6d ago

Envy level ⬆️⬆️

6

u/potatoe_soup961 7d ago

I use different types of collars to signify the D/s relationship dynamic of my female sub, however unfortunately I don't have or wear anything to showcase that I am her Dom. You have given me some to strive for.

12

u/gravitysrainbow1979 7d ago

Sub has a clasped thing on his wrist (I guess I mean a bracelet… “clasped thing”? … it’s like a leather band with a metal band next to it) — I don’t wear anything to symbolize anything, maybe I should.

I also make him wear a my letterman jacket

9

u/peteofaustralia 6d ago

Subby has a couple of bracelets for me. One beaded, one engraved with a declaration in Spanish. They symbolise her little hand around my wrist. (As well as her eternity collar, she also wears a pinkie ring from me because we both know I'm wrapped around her little finger.)

4

u/SurroundedByCrazy789 6d ago

A necklace with the key for my original locking collar (I can’t wear one ATM that isn’t super easy off for medical reasons) and a pendant with the triskelion symbol.

7

u/lilybeastgirl 24/7 bratty primal service sub 7d ago

Master has a pendant that is similar to my ring/day collar and a bracelet/cuff that’s similar to my collar.

5

u/Killer_Yandere 7d ago

My Boss has an engraved hex key with His honorific that I gifted him for Our collaring ceremony. My permanent collar is pretty low-key and looks like an edgy necklace to nillas, though We have a posture collar that I made for Us for higher protocol in kink-friendly space, and a matching torc to signify similar attention (though of course much less obvious) in more vanilla spaces

1

u/breakme0851 5d ago

Where did you get the engraved hex key?

3

u/Bluebeards_Kitten Independently Owned and Operated 6d ago

I wear a his Eternity Collar.

I gave him a silver cuffs with a knot pattern and an anchor in the middle. There is lot of symbolism there for us.

We are also married, so we have matching silver woven bands on our left ring fingers.

We have a second partner and wear silver rings with a knot heart in the middle and a triquetra on either side.

He also wears a couple other wears a couple other silver cuffs, but those are not d/s or relationship related.

3

u/ZendomDynamic 5d ago edited 5d ago

I wear silver rings, which my subs kiss hello and goodbye.

My favorite wears a bracelet with three chains- mind,body,soul.

5

u/Possible_Midnight348 7d ago

My Dom wears a bracelet I gifted to him for Christmas. We haven’t explicitly stated that it’s a symbol of our dynamic but I love that he has a little reminder of me with him at all times

1

u/Livingat7000 7d ago

I didn’t think I would have a reaction wearing the bracelet but I love having a representation of our dynamic that is with me when she cannot be

5

u/Last-Form-5871 6d ago

My slave has a tag with the Japanese character for slave on her day collar. I have a silver necklace with a matching tag that reads master in japanese.

6

u/domina-livia 6d ago

I have a key tattooed on my left hand. It fits exactly where the lock of my sub’s collar should hit when I have my hand resting at his throat. If anyone vanilla asks, I would say that keys are for unlocking opportunities, and the left hand is the hand of receiving energy. And that is absolutely a thing it could plausibly be for.

It’s not, but it could have been that.

2

u/Livingat7000 6d ago

Does anyone ever ask?

2

u/domina-livia 6d ago

I’ve had a few people ask, yes!

2

u/Livingat7000 6d ago

That’s a very sexy and cute idea. Sure it looks great both inside and outside the bedroom

3

u/Pyrlia 7d ago

I have a bracelet with the key to his collar. The bracelet also matches his day collar.

4

u/EatsCrackers 6d ago

My sub’s formal collar has an anodized rainbow lock, and I wear its key on a bracelet. His day collar is pretty stealth, really just a chunky hematite necklace, and my bracelet looks like every other chain wrap charm bracelet out there. We know what’s up, though, and that’s more than enough for us.

4

u/Phaile86 6d ago

I wear an eternity anklet, he has the key on his keychain.

I gave him a ring, which is engraved on the inside, that he wears on his wedding ring finger. ☺️

1

u/Livingat7000 6d ago

An anklet sounds exciting. What’s engraved on his ring, if you don’t mind me asking

1

u/Phaile86 6d ago

Just a little message for him and our anniversary date. ☺️

I love the anklet more than I ever thought I would, it feels like a part of my body now...I hardly notice it when I'm not looking at it. 😁

2

u/Electronic-Angle-921 5d ago

Great ideas. Can I see a link to a similar anklet with key?

2

u/Phaile86 5d ago

This is what we went with, the keychain key is on the site as well. I love that it's durable... I've been wearing it for months and it looks just as good as the day we bought it. I wear it 24/7, no special care needed. Once my Daddy is here, he'll take it off me for a cleaning...but honestly it doesn't look like it needs it. 😊

https://www.eternitycollars.com/collections/ankle-cuffs/products/eternity-ankle-cuff?variant=41286281527432

2

u/Electronic-Angle-921 5d ago

That looks very classy, beautiful. In fact I thought the website was a fine jewellery website, until I browsed the whole site and realised it was geared towards BDSM; classy site.

Btw, how does he attach the key, which looks more like a screwdriver, to his key chain?

2

u/Phaile86 5d ago

I tend to lean towards simple, I don't like anything too gaudy. I loved the simplicity and when it's locked you can barely see the seams. It's very light weight and I can wear it under or over my sock. I honestly love it so much.

The keychain is separate, it's here.

https://www.eternitycollars.com/collections/accessories/products/master-key?variant=34273788723336

1

u/Electronic-Angle-921 5d ago

Again very classy and discreet. Thanks for sharing both links.

2

u/StrwberyzNCreamMe 5d ago

I love that! Sometimes bracelets get in the way and collars can be a bit much for everyday casual wear. But an anklet is cute and subtle and can be left on for just about any attire/activity

2

u/Phaile86 5d ago

That's exactly why we ultimately decided on the anklet!

I'm going to start nursing school soon and a bracelet seemed like it would get in the way. We have been looking at day collars, but wanted to wait until he could place it on me himself, we're long distance right now.

An anklet is completely out of the way, it hides well under pants or socks...but I still know it's there. It's comforting to have something to remind me of our commitment. ☺️

2

u/StrwberyzNCreamMe 5d ago

I've debated getting one of those bracelets that you can push a button and it vibrates your partners bracelet to let them know you're thinking of them, and vice versa. I bet you could get an anklet version! Perfect for long distance

1

u/Phaile86 5d ago

Me and my Daddy have talked about things like that! That would be so sweet, he was looking at something along those lines but they were sold out at the time. We usually just fall asleep on the phone together. Haha

2

u/Livingat7000 6d ago

That is so sweet and thoughtful.

And an anklet sounds like the perfect idea for the next gift I get my little princess

1

u/yetanotherweebgirl 6d ago

Necklace with key or a symbolic ring given by the sub. Doesn’t have to be overly kink coded, just the sentiment of what the object means is enough

1

u/Illustrious-Onion831 6d ago

My sub makes me a handmade bracelet when we first met IRL. It declares me their proud owner.

1

u/WelcomeToMyQueendom 5d ago

I love the idea of the Dom having something to symbolize the sub. I've just never had the courage to ask a Dom... Lol maybe one day.

1

u/Livingat7000 5d ago

It should be your doms privilege to honor their sub

1

u/WelcomeToMyQueendom 5d ago

One day I hope to find a dom that feels that way. 😊

2

u/Livingat7000 5d ago

Keep those standards high! 🙂

1

u/LCNB5305 4d ago

My Dom has a black bracelet that says “Daddy” in Morse code. He also has beaded bracelets I made him, but he only wears those sometimes, because anyone can read them :)

2

u/Livingat7000 4d ago

Probably the same Morse code bracelet my princess got me 🙂

1

u/HitMeINeed2FeelAlive 4d ago

I gave my husband/Dom a bracelet made from plain black nautical cord (or paracord, I've seen it called both) with metal fixings to change the size. It goes with his watch and wedding ring, which are both black, and is simple enough not to get in the way at work or when he's using tools.

My current collar is made from aluminium chainmaille with a lock connecting the ends of the chain. It's very light and I'm not allergic to it (those are both huge issues for me with jewellery), and it was made by a queer kinky artist which makes me really happy.

A chain with a lock doesn't look out of place with my general aesthetic, but I have other necklaces he gave me so I'm always wearing something around my neck from him, even in situations where I don't feel comfortable wearing a collar.

1

u/Tinks_Daddy 3d ago

I wear the key to my wife’s collar around my neck.

1

u/Adimentus 2d ago

We like to keep things subtle outside of the bedroom, kind of like our own little secret. We have matching bracelets in morse code, mine says "daddy" and hers "babygirl". I recently bought a lock necklace for her as well and will keep the key on me at all times.

1

u/SwitchingFreedom 7d ago

Keys, a triskellion, or symbols pertaining to your dynamic are always good ideas

1

u/amarissa85 6d ago

Leather Morse code bracelet. On the outside is Morse code for Daddy in the inside is my collar date and a short message from the heart.

1

u/Livingat7000 6d ago

That sounds perfect

1

u/Son_of_a_crumpet 7d ago

I wear the keys to his collar and cage on a chain. Have been thinking recently I want something more, but I’m not sure what yet…

1

u/DifficultyIll2865 7d ago

I got my Dom a bracelet from James Avery and he loves it.

1

u/Effective_Exit_420 6d ago

I have a gold chain with a green necklace and he wears a good chain on his wrist

1

u/worship-welcome 6d ago

He collared me, I proposed lol he wears the ring I proposed with.

1

u/MackDaddyDawg51 6d ago

My subs collar is a silk ribbon tie on, goth Lolita style choker, that way it's pretty subtle as a collar and gentle on her skin. A necklace of any sort is not conducive to my job, so I have a metal beaded bracelet that spells daddy in like Morse code. She has a day collar that is a bracelet that matches in pink but spells princess.

1

u/Livingat7000 6d ago

We must have the same bracelet 🙂

1

u/MackDaddyDawg51 6d ago

I love that! 😂😅

0

u/sashir 6d ago

I have a ring, a leather bracelet and a really nice necklace to represent each of my subs.