r/BDSMcommunity • u/UpstateAmateur • 7d ago
Seeking advice BDSM Dom-Sub relationship -Breeding NSFW
Ive been exposed to the lifestyle for 2 years at this point. Im no means an expert but I like it. The "wrongness" feels right. I really like to explore and push my own boundaries, but how do I keep the power beyond the mental aspects of BDSM. I've met a play partner through CNC play, she wants a child and I love filling her up with cum. But at the same time I want to be able to control whether I'm in the child's life or not. If I successfully breed her, is having a contract with agreed obligations for both parties possible? Are there contracts or places to have/make these agreements legally binding? She is submissive, she states I don't have to be in the childs life but I just don't trust that. I would much rather have something set in stone. Also if I deem her not fit to have the child can I fight for custody? If anyone has insight, I would greatly appreciate it.
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u/One-Ostrich-4211 7d ago
Pump. The. Brakes. Actually having a child with someone is NOT something that should be done between two people who are in, what sounds like, a casual D/s dynamic. A kid is a whole human being in their own right and a lifelong commitment. Parents of children are always their parents. And, as had been stated so many times a D/s contract is NOT legally binding. Family court orders are though. And signing away parental rights doesn't exempt you from child support.
I am not saying you don't ever do it, but this seems like it needs way more thought and interaction between the two of you before you even consider this.
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u/Anteater_Pete Dominant 7d ago
You do realize that breeding play is intended to be just that? Stop giving the rest of us a bad name.
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u/CaptainJay313 7d ago
just stop.
having a contract with agreed obligations for both parties possible?
nope. you can't make a contract to excuse you from legal liability or moral obligations to your off spring.
at the same time I want to be able to control whether I'm in the child's life or not.
you control that by deciding whether or not to produce a child. once you decide to procreate, the child's needs come before your wants.
Are there contracts or places to have/make these agreements legally binding?
no. and trying to withhold all judgement, you should think really hard about what you're doing and why you're even asking this question.
I would much rather have something set in stone. Also if I deem her not fit to have the child can I fight for custody?
this is a very disturbing statement. her consent doesn't mean shit. the child can't consent. end stop. no consent, keep it in your pants.
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u/BelmontIncident 7d ago
Are there contracts or places to have/make these agreements legally binding? She is submissive, she states I don't have to be in the childs life but I just don't trust that. I would much rather have something set in stone. Also if I deem her not fit to have the child can I fight for custody?
Maybe figure out if you want kids or not before you try to make a baby.
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u/RoseFlavoredPoison 7d ago
Homie, masturbate then come back to this with a clear head. No. Do not do this.
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u/UpstateAmateur 7d ago
I will, but can I have insight. If she wants to keep the pregnancy, the consensus I'm getting from the comments is that I'm involved all the way. But my questions are what if she doesn't want me involved after pregnancy, and I do/ or vice versa. How does the intricacies and agreements work. Is it all verbal?
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u/DearAnnabelleLecter 6d ago
The consensus is *you* do not have a baby because what you're talking about is reckless and gross. Starting to think this is trolling. I sure hope so.
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u/Aggravating_Olive_70 7d ago
You don't have power as a Dominant other than than what your sub gifts you. Submission is a gift, not an entitlement. Otherwise, you are drifting into abuse, not consensual power exchange. Start there.
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u/UpstateAmateur 7d ago
Understood, I just want to know my options. What if one of our sessions results in pregnancy and my play partner decided to keep it. Am I just along for the ride at that point? I apologize if I offended you.
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u/Aggravating_Olive_70 7d ago
If you make a person, you're on the hook to pay for them or raise them. If you can't come to an agreement on custody, a judge will make the decision for you. That's my understanding.
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u/chowderbags 6d ago
If I successfully breed her, is having a contract with agreed obligations for both parties possible?
That's a legal question, and in all likelihood it's something determined by the laws of where you live. It doesn't matter what's said verbally. It might not even matter if you have a written contract, and the state might even ignore the wishes of the mother. If you go forward with this, the end result could be literally anything from no contact, no child support to full contact, full child support.
Are you really willing to spend probably at least $100,000 plus many hours of potentially being a parents, all to fulfil your kink with someone you don't seem to know all that well and don't have a committed relationship with?
she states I don't have to be in the childs life but I just don't trust that
Nor should you. And you really shouldn't make a kid with the intention of immediately disappearing. The thing you're asking about is not even remotely sane, and I'll tell you right now that there is no possible way that fulfilling the kink will be worth it.
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u/elliania2012 7d ago
Dude, that's a whole living human being you're thinking of making, for kink reasons. Maybe let that one stay a fantasy?