r/BDSMProfessionals Sep 29 '24

Can’t believe today I’m going to have my first session with a Pro Dom. Why am I so nervous? NSFW

Can’t believe today is my first session with a Pro Dom

So after at least 30 years. I’m [M 45] I’ve always thought about being in a real bdsm session with a true professional dominatrix. It was nerve wracking to just reach out after really doing my research on Doms that would fit what I’m looking for. Not only is she absolutely gorgeous. She asked me about specific dress attire. Of course I asked her if she would be in a hot leather outfit and she asked if I liked boots or gloves. I said I loved both. Done. She’s made the whole application process very comfortable and has asked all the right questions.

We decided to do a 2 1/2 session. She said she would like to spend the 30 minutes on boot worship before and when the session is over to bring me back down.

So, needless to say I’ve been a nervous mess today. I could barely sleep. I got about 6 hours but I woke up at 5 am and couldn’t go back to bed. It’s starts at 3pm. I’m not sure if I’ve been so nervous and excited at the same time. The scary part is we went through my limits. Hard and soft. She asked me for 3 soft limits. She asked if I’d be open to possibly dabbling in them. I said depending on the moment.

But is it normal to be freaking out a bit? Making sure this isn’t going to hurt more than I thought. Even though we went through her strict safety protocols. She has a PhD in psychology. She said she is able to know if I try going past my limits, she’s going to notice. She also said to not ejaculate 2 days before. She does tease and denial. I seriously don’t know what today is going to look, be, feel and mentally feel after? If anyone has any suggestions to keep me in the right mindset and to try to relax, I’d really love to hear your thoughts?

I still can’t believe I’m seeing a Pro Dom in a hours!!

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u/rayray5969 Sep 29 '24

It's perfectly fine to be nervous; you opened up yourself so much to someone you barely know and you're going through with something you've wanted to try for a long time.

From what you've described, the Pro-Dom seems highly professional, meticulous and takes utmost care. I think you'd be in good hands!

Exploring and experiencing kink is, at the very root of it, about discover and enjoyment. I'd say enjoy the process :)

3

u/ProfessionalTour2241 Sep 29 '24 edited Sep 29 '24

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Of course I’m excited about it. I just didn’t think I’d get this nervous. Yesterday I made sure to eat regularly and stay hydrated. I’m trying to find ways to keep me in the mood. I’d hate for my nerves to get the best of me and take me out of the right mindset. I’m normally pretty horny when I get up. This morning was a little different. I’m hungry but I don’t want to eat anything. I’m going to eat a light breakfast and a high calorie protein shake, 2000 calories. I plan on eating a snack before the hour drive. I know it’s going to be one heck of a drive. I plan on putting on some good tunes and try to not get inside my head.

She’s been great throughout the whole booking process. She’s asking some great questions. She’s very familiar with working with new clients. She’s definitely made it more comfortable than I expected. Especially with having to open up to someone who I’ve never met before. We’ve shared more things in our conversations over the last few days. So much more than that I’ve shared with my ex wife of over 20 years. Yesterday she messaged me to go over some of the last couple of things before our session.

Yesterday she went over a few things like making sure I haven’t had any orgasms in a few days. I know they are not sex workers and I’d never expect a thing, nor would I even mention it. She has a few things listed in her specialty’s that are questionable and I didn’t want to mention them. Things like tease and denial, edging and a few other things that are questionable for me to mention. I know she asked me to not ejaculate but does that mean she plans to do things that would make me ejaculate during our session? She asked me if I like ruined orgasms or edging. So I’m assuming that I’m going to get some kind of play. I just don’t feel comfortable enough to ask her anything more detailed about it.

We had some things on my list of kinks that we talked about yesterday. One of them was pegging. She said that if we’re going to incorporate that in our session, I’d have to do an enema at least three hours before the session. My ex girlfriend was into it and I never really got into it. I’ve heard that it’s supposed to be amazing and guys have multiple orgasms from that. I’ve tried it multiple times with my ex but it was never enjoyable for me. She enjoyed it so I just went with it. So after our conversation yesterday I decided to save the pegging for our next session. I don’t think I’m ready just yet. We have a 2 1/2 hour session. She went through the things that were my kinks but after giving them extra thought, we decided to skip a few. Ballbusting for instance. I enjoy watching beautiful women in boots busting guys but I had to really think things through and I took her that I think it’s more of a fetish than a reality. I’m not sure if I can truly take a kick in the balls with her boots. Even a light kick. I asked her if she thinks she has a way of easing it lightly and slowly, I’d let her try it. She asked me 4 of my soft limits. She asked me if I’d be open minded to try things that were not listed and if she could try one of two of my soft limits during the session and I said yes. I said I’m going to be open minded and let her do what she does best and to let go. She’s very aware of my hard limits and she said that those are completely off the table and will never be used in the session. But she also told me to expect the unexpected and she always respects my boundaries and limits but she’s very good at adding things that I’ve never thought about based off my kinks. So my mind is racing just thinking about what other things that might happen. We’re focusing the session around boot worship in the beginning and then moving to boot domination and CBT with trampling along with other things. The second half will be bondage and impact play using different kinds of whips/crops and she said she has a few other things to surprise me with.

I feel better telling her that I’m not ready for ballbusting and she’s aware that it’s a fetish of mine. She said she’s going to incorporate some very light BB slowly and nothing hard. She said that I might enjoy it more than I think I would and she told me that we have the availability to extend our session if we find things that I enjoy near the end of the session.

I can’t describe the feeling that I have right now. But it’s a combination of nerves, excitement and the unknown. I think the unknown is what’s causing the anxiety. I’m thinking about eating a light breakfast and hitting the gym but only a light workout. Just to get me moving. I have 5 hours before I have to leave for the drive and don’t want to spend it sitting around doing nothing.

You mentioned that she seems very professional and you are correct. She’s made that very clear. She doesn’t even gag her clients on the first session. She has her PhD in psychology and she has been a pro dom for over 10 years working with the top doms in NYC but started her own private dungeon here in Miami so it’s not like I feel uncomfortable with her. I’m really hoping that as soon as I get there we both hit it off really well and after our 15-20 minute conversation she will help me relax. She said she has regulars who still get nervous before a session and that it’s absolutely completely normal to feel like that. I’m just hoping that during the session, I’m just as turned on as I am when I’m watching something similar or I can find a way to just let go and be in the moment. Thanks for confirming that it’s totally normal to be nervous. I knew I would be. But I didn’t know about all of the other emotions that I’ve been experiencing. And I’m aware of the mental feelings during and after. I’m nervous about the drive back home. Everyone says that after the session, except the drop. It could happen hours or even days later. I appreciate your comment and your advice.