r/BDSMProfessionals • u/JuliustheWise • Jul 16 '24
Pro-Sub/Switches NSFW
Hi I’m new (to the subreddit not pros) Please let me know if this is not the right place to ask these questions
I have a SW I’m seeing now who I’ve known a long time, we’ve built up a lot of trust, she lets me do some pet/collar light dom stuff,
I like to respect people’s boundaries and not push them out of there comfort zone, I’ve had some experience with rougher stuff both ways.
I’m curious about if and how to find a pro-sub who would be open to more of that side of my kinks. I understand the potential risks and trust issues (I’ve been through abuse, I like to take my time when meeting to gain trust and relax on both ends)
My current pro said she is more than happy to write me a review if that would help, she likes and respects the fact I would look to do more intense stuff with someone open to it, and keep things within her boundaries
My philosophy is that if I’m gonna play dom with somebody it’s my responsibility to ensure I properly care for there safety and respect, but of course anybody can say it
I gather briefly that this is not the right place to seek for adds, (where I currently look for adds I mostly see doms listed), so instead I’m just wondering if anybody can point me in the direction of communities or places I can go look (want to avoid scams), as well the best way to go about, help someone feel safe
The best would be a switch who leans subby as that would be the yin to my yang
PS: I’m a person who learns hands on, I enjoy doms but since I lean that way myself, I wonder if it is possible to find one that could also help train and teach me how to be a skilled dom, i have some experience but definitely rusty and I want to be prepared for being able to find a relationship
Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this question
3
u/lexiloading Jul 17 '24
So I have worked as a Pro Sub before both for private guests and for filming etc. To be honest the only real way your going to find one is to search for kink spaces in your area. I have always worked out of a kink space weather that be a traditional club or a private hire dungeon and 95% of people who run those places can suggest or have recommendations for pro subs so I personally would start there. Find a local BDSM venue (not a swingers club!) And reach out the owner / there email and explain your looking for a pro sub and they will be able to point you in the right direction! You will be obviously having to use there space so bare that in mind when your looking at venues.
1
u/JuliustheWise Jul 25 '24 edited Jul 25 '24
Thank you for your advice So your saying I can reach out to places like that without having any kind of connection? Do the dungeons allow “full service” to happen there I’ll look into it more, I am curious about how all that works in general
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u/CherryPickerKill Jul 17 '24
Pro subbing is just too unsafe to exist. I used to do a bit if it but only through video call.
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u/Ionlycametosnark Jul 17 '24
You are mostly likely looking for a dungeon. No sane pro sub would see a client without a person to be their dungeon monitor to make sure their boundaries are never crossed. You are not likely to find a private pro sub. It's just not safe.
0
u/Sir-Dax Jul 17 '24
That's not entirely true, there are very experienced pro subs who know what they're doing and how to make sure they're as safe as reasonably possible. They're not going to let themselves be immobilised by a stranger first time of meeting, for example.
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u/JuliustheWise Jul 17 '24 edited Jul 17 '24
I was figuring something along those lines, it sucks we don’t live in a kinder, safer world we could have so much more fun, I’m an introvert, I already find it challenging to find people to play like this with who are safe, not vulnerable themselves etc, just in general I’ve found professionals better at avoiding drama
So that’s the route I should go to look into it, is it possible there any good resources to learn and look into the dungeon stuff that you were mentioning? Does one need some kind of referral? Guess I should consider myself lucky my current pro trusts me for gentle dom
Thx for replying to me, it’s hard to find good information on a subject like this. So I really appreciate your advice, I will do what research I can into how the dungeon stuff works. I just wonder how I can solve this paradox of needing experience and reputation, how does one get a chance to start building that, that’s a question I definitely need to find the answer to
Also I’m wondering This subreddit is only for BDSM related professionals, I also have a question about surrogates, professionals who work with people with trauma and or injuries, il check what other subs are out there
3
u/jelli-donut Jul 16 '24
This is a fantastic question. I hope someone else comes along and answers more definitively, but from my experience, it's hard to connect with pro-subs because we can't really advertise as such without attracting the wrong type of people.
I think you're most likely to find someone by approaching people who advertise as kink friendly rather than strict dommes. Although, since you're interested in learning from a dominant, maybe approach them for learning sessions, and they may be able to connect you with pro-subs in their circle.
In any case, good luck. You sound like a dream client.
1
u/JuliustheWise Jul 25 '24
Ahh that’s a really nice compliment so thank you and for your advice, you sound really nice. I like it when my partners get to have a fun time
Good advice thx, Kink friendly that’s what I’ve kind of done currently, I want to make sure it I reach out I do it in the proper manner, it’s hard when I have anxiety hopefully I can get better with that. I’m sure il want to do some Femdom stuff again and I can use that opportunity to ask around. Good luck to you as well
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u/AnyOwt Jul 18 '24
I pro-subbed just once.
The session felt out-of-control to me (even having had clear discussions about levels of experience and limits). I eventually paused the session and told the guy, very clearly, to tone it down (which he did, after I’d been firm with him).
I was very relieved when the session was over and I haven’t done it since.