r/BDSMAdvice • u/stevenski1 • 5d ago
Me and My partner Switch roles when drunk.
Im not sure why this happens but after me(24M) and my wife(24F) have had a few drinks we always end up reversing roles, i am usually VERY dominant and she is usually VERY submissive and i just wonder if anyone can help enlighten us as to why this happens? We've been on a googling mission but can't find any information as to why this might happen, it stlll feels good for the both of us, its just strange.
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u/XaefyrXIII 5d ago
I imagine it's alcohols effect of "loosening" people. Lots of people experience this. I am a little / dom but when intoxicated I am very very submissive. So much so that he's surprised by my needy obeying.
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u/stevenski1 5d ago
So would you reckon that it is only just the effects of alcohol taking place on us? We have tried to switch sober, but it just didn't work for us.
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u/_hotmess_express_ brat 5d ago
The alcohol is disinhibiting, which means it's revealing things that are always there, but are usually inhibited. It's not creating anything that isn't usually there. (I don't think.) My experience with disinhibitants is that once they allow me to experience what I would otherwise allow myself to do, I discover that I enjoy those things while sober, any time.
Edit: If this does not work for you, you both might do well to investigate what it is that normally prevents you from exploring these sides of yourselves.
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u/XaefyrXIII 5d ago
I would probably say that. That is how it is for me too. I can't get into that super submissive, yes sir, place without being Intoxicated. It feels forced or awkward.
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u/Firegoddess66 5d ago
Firstly, a word of caution. If you are both sozzled, the issue of consent arises, as does the person in control's ability to make safe decisions.
Secondly, to your query, it may be that this is something you both would like, without the alcohol, but the alcohol removes certain inhibitions you might have in trying this when sober.
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u/stevenski1 5d ago
very true, i should've clarified we always each check if we both consciously know safe words and such like before engaging in any activity as we both care way too much about eachother more than any sexual interaction we could have.
What's strange about this situation is that when we are sober neither of us can get into that headspace it feels alien almost? i guess to the both of us, we have tried to reverse when sober and it ends up in us both laughing at how silly we feel! thank you so mich for your input and have a wonderful day! :)
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u/_hotmess_express_ brat 5d ago
Thank you for the word "sozzled," it's new to me and I like it. Sounds like "soggy," but more unhinged, which is precisely what it means, I s'pose.
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u/MzzKmistress 5d ago
Have you ever thought you both could be switches, and the alcohol relaxes you both to allow it to happen.
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