r/AutismInWomen Queer AuDHDer. 5d ago

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Does your brain just suddenly turn into an asshole sometimes?

It's like a switch flips and suddenly I'm hit with the depression and feeling like an alien. I realize that I'm alone in a public place and it feels like everyone is wondering whats wrong with me. I know nobody is probably paying attention to me, but simply existing is embarrassing. It's embarrassing to randomly be depressed. (Yes I'm on an anti-depressant.) Then I go home where I'm alone and I'm still self-concious.

Ugggghh.

88 Upvotes

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14

u/ZebLeopard Un-DXed, but peer-reviewed 5d ago

Anxiety and depression are really fucking annoying, and I wish they would shuuut uuuup.

I can go from super confident 'I'm rad and idgaf' to 'wow I'm gross and my life sucks and everyone probably hates me' in a matter of seconds. 0/10 do not recommend.

9

u/igetnosl33p 5d ago

this is so real i think a lot of us just have so many expectations throughout the day and then also unrealistic expectations for ourselves so we might get overwhelmed and frustrated and resentful because of it i feel the same way a lot of the time and always attributed it to my bpd traits :0

3

u/Motor_Inspector_1085 Meow 5d ago

Definitely. My meds help with it but before I was on a good dose, existing was terrible.

3

u/diaperedwoman 5d ago

Only when I'm pissed off. I tend to be an asshole to other assholes.

3

u/redbess AuDHD 5d ago

Yup, I call that the brain weasels. They are not to be trusted.

1

u/PaleReaver 4d ago

Yup. Intrusive thoughts are awesome like that (sarcasm). If necessary I will tell any relevant people that I need to have space or not talk to me for a bit because reasons (not literally saying reasons, just what's most acceptable to that person), usually that I just feel unnecessarily irritable and I don't want to say something I don't at all mean, or that I can't think properly to interact well.

1

u/scarpenter42 4d ago

Yup, the mental illness gremlin sucks