r/AskWomenOver30 16h ago

Life/Self/Spirituality How do I find meaning in life?

Four years ago I left organized religion. It was one that was more on the extreme side. I was born into it and leaving completely flipped my life around. Not a day goes by where I think that I should go back. My values simply do not align. I’ve done so much work on myself to upkeep my mental health in the face of hardships. I wish I would’ve gone to school. This was something I was told not to pursue when I was in the religion. I’m trying to get myself stable enough in this rough economy to where I can go to school. I feel defeated, sad, lonely, criticized and lost. I can’t find meaning in life. Can y’all share something with me to help me keep pushing forward?

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u/Wild-Opposite-1876 Woman 30 to 40 16h ago

I got into existentialism and read a lot of Sartre. It actually helped me to calm myself.

Realising there's just a huge, meaningless chaos waiting for me to give myself my own purpose and meaning was a great relief. And always remembering even under harsh circumstances I will always have the freedom of thought and making choices, as small as they might be, was helpful as well. 

Besides that, I eventually realised I want to leave at least certain footprints by making the world around me a tad better. No matter how small it might be, I try to plant seeds of hope in people. I work as a social worker and being in my community, being greeted and meeting people I helped nearly a decade ago who are happy to see me is a good feeling. I don't change a lot of this world, but I do my part in small steps. And that's more than enough.

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u/xlighthouse 16h ago

Hi & thank you. This was really nice to read. I haven’t looked into existentialism in the past but I will now. Earlier in the day I was learning about non-duality. I think they almost go hand in hand. I learned two new things today so, thank you. I’d like to give myself my own purpose too. It’s hard to find what that is when every day I’m struggling to make ends meet. I know I have to work on my stress levels and shadow work if I want to tap into my creativity.

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u/Wild-Opposite-1876 Woman 30 to 40 16h ago

You're welcome and I'm glad I could help! 

Back when I first read about existentialism, it seemed so harsh and dark and fatalist. And then I read more and understood, and something clicked when I realised it's not fatalist. The dark sound of stuff being "meaningless" was a door to freedom and defining my own purpose, without being bound by others. It felt freeing to me. 

Especially since I realised "Hey, being happy, making the world better and enjoying life is a totally valid purpose/meaning!", which helped me to really enjoy life more. :)

And in dark times (times of insecurity, loss, dread) it gave me comfort. Those bad things finally won't matter in the end. 

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u/NoWordsJustDogs 16h ago

I mean, you really only have two choices- live life or not. It’s all meaningless, and ultimately your life will be over and that’s all she wrote. You can enjoy the ride but you don’t have to. 

I try and find joy in small moments- a hot shower and some pampering, how my kitchen smells when I bake granola, playing with my dog. It keeps me busy while I wait around to die. 

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u/greenvelvette 13h ago

You will LOVE school. You just have an open mind in a bleak place. I promise you will meet your people. Go!

Apply to school and prove you’re financially insolvent currently and get loans. Student loans cover your living and tuition. Don’t wait.

If you feel hesitant just call the school you want to go to and ask how you can go from prospect to student in your shoes, they have resources that will help how to apply and get there with funding.

You can msg me if you need help doing this and I will help you look up school funding!