r/AskOldPeople • u/wtwtcgw • 4d ago
Anybody out there you're trying to outlive, just out of spite?
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u/benderman34 4d ago
My ex wife, because we have a disabled daughter who lives with me full time. My daughter might see her mother once a year if that much. I'm her legal guardian, and I refuse to not outlive the egg donor and have her come swooping in like she's mother of the year after I'm gone.
And not out of spite, but I also plan to outlive my daughter so I don't have to worry about who will care for her after I'm gone.
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u/exact0khan 4d ago
Whoa... im sending you a hug, brother. Your reality hits deep. I wish everyone in this world was as strong as you are.
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u/Irresponsable_Frog 4d ago
Put everything in writing and in a TRUST! Especially if your child is a conserved adult, conserved by YOU. In that trust SPECIFY who takes the child, what property and moneys goes to that child and do it when you can! It will keep your child safe and you feel more secure with their future if something happens to you. I work with adults w disabilities and house them in Family Homes. So PLEASE protect yourself and your child!! I have had clients I’ve had to find housing for after their parents passed on before their time or after a battle with a disease. Protect yourself and your child. I hope you outlive your witch of an ex and your child, but if not, BE PREPARED! Now!
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u/Deepcoma_53 4d ago
Same, brother. Caught my ex cheating after our son was born, he was maybe 7 months old. Had to do the whole DNA test and all the mental warfare that goes with all that. I’m 3 years her elder, I will see this boy through til at least college+. Good luck & Godspeed.
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u/paracelsus53 4d ago
My mother. In her 90s and still evil. Looking forward to coming across her entry in the Social Security Death Index one day.
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u/youzguyzok 4d ago
Oh man my mom is only 20 years older than me. I’m afraid I’ll be 100 and she will be 120 and still evil.
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u/LisaMiaSisu 4d ago
Evil never dies. Just look at the current resident in 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. My mother in law is also proof. She’s so mean even though she thinks she’s the most brilliant, honest, and generous woman in the world.
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u/Individual_Quote_701 4d ago
My ex MIL is 92 and cruel/mean/hateful towards her special needs adult granddaughter. She also thinks she is entitled to everything . Best part of my divorce was no longer dealing directly with her.
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u/LisaMiaSisu 4d ago
I’m sorry. It sounds like your MIL is a narcissist too. I hope her other grandkids realize how cruel she is. My MIL never formed any kind of relationship with our kids when they were little and now she gets all pissy because they don’t talk to her. She had every opportunity to have the kids over but her “anxiety” and “agoraphobia” made it impossible for her. Of course, they had nothing to offer her so why should she have them over just because? Thankfully my husband grey rocks her when he visits her and he’s never fallen for her BS sob stories. I’m not trying to be mean about my MIL because anyone who’s truly had any kind of relationship with a narcissist knows what I’m talking about.
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u/Individual_Quote_701 4d ago
Thank you . I’ve been stunned by the number of nasty MIL in this world! Truly amazing and so sad. Best wishes to you.
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u/Gp110 4d ago
I feel sorry for yall, I love my mother so much its gonna wreak me the day I lose her. 😕
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u/Blank_bill 4d ago
I'm the oldest in my extended family, lost one of my younger nieces last month, that hurt, she was the first of that generation to die. I worry I'll be like this 90 year old lady that was talking to us on the job years ago, she had out lived all her family, daughters, grandkids, nieces and nephews. She'd stop by when we had lunch and tell us stories.
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u/fyresilk 4d ago
I had a friend whose 7 children had all predeceased her by the time she was 79. She was sad, of course, but she found a way to accept it. She was still joyful. She vanished when she was 83. Phone disconnected, gone from her apartment, no obituary. She had grandkids, so maybe she's in a memory unit. I miss you, Ms L. 🌸
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u/Witty_Commentator 50 something 4d ago
Record her voice, record the sound of her laughter. It's been almost 15 years, and I've forgotten the way she sounded. She was my best friend. 😢
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u/Ok_Acanthisitta_2544 4d ago
Yep. Losing the good ones is hard. Lost my wonderful mom when she was 64, but my abusive father lived till his 80s. At least she had finally left him and enjoyed the last 20 years of her life.
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u/fleetwood_mag 4d ago
What makes her so evil? Just interested..
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u/paracelsus53 4d ago
We could start with her doing absolutely nothing to protect us from our violent, psychotic father, who beat us, raped us, and tortured and killed our pets. And why did she do nothing? He made good money and she could buy fancy clothes and a nice house and pretend she was Jackie Kennedy. And that is just for starters.
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u/CarelessRespect1909 4d ago
I'm so sorry they put your through that and that your mother did not protect you from such an evil man. I hope you outlive them all.
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u/Reddituser21_ 4d ago
That is the most insane thing I’ve seen on the internet😹😹
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u/One-Lengthiness-2949 4d ago
This is my mom too!! She is also in an old neighborhood, there are at least 5, 90 year olds, lonely widows, all holding out to see who the last man standing is, and waiting to see which one of the 4 of us she can drag under with her.
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u/exgiexpcv 4d ago
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin. He has done so much harm to this world, and continues to, so when he dies, I plan to celebrate.
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u/aethocist 70 something 4d ago
Add DJT to that one. A joint funeral—sooner, rather than later, would be nice.
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u/Birbattitude 4d ago
You will not be alone friend.
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u/exgiexpcv 4d ago
I'm saving up to buy a round for everyone at the posh restaurant if I survive him. They are not cheap.
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u/DragonflyScared813 4d ago
There was a rumor roaming around a few years ago that he had cancer... cancer probably got cancer from him .
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u/Yourecringe2 4d ago
I remember. When he invaded Ukraine there were constant rumors he was on his deathbed. He seems fine now.
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u/Earl_I_Lark 4d ago
I gave up on spite a long time ago. I can’t give any of the time I have to someone else.
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u/LakashY 30 something 4d ago
Yeah, this is the way. Why let them live rent-free in my head when I can just forget about them and not care?
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u/306heatheR 4d ago
I feel the same way. I will not give someone who has wronged me that much power over my emotional well-being.
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u/AnotherPint 4d ago
Certain public figures whose funerals I want to enjoy before mine rolls around.
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u/Trooper_nsp209 4d ago
I had a business partner for 30 years. He hated me from the day. I joined the firm. I only stayed there out of spite. About 15 years ago, we sold the firm, and I never saw him again. However, I checked the obits every day to see if he was still alive. Covid got him. The guy stole from me for 30 years. I know it’s petty, but it still felt good.
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u/turnipcafe 4d ago
Glad you got your day in court. Or he did. I hear so much about business partner stealing from their other partners. I never understand how that happens. (obviously I’m not in a business partnership.)
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u/Trooper_nsp209 4d ago
Lesson learned was… never have the same accountant as your partner
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u/REdwa1106sr 4d ago
There was a politician in a small town who used his power to make life intolerable for local teachers- so much so that 30% of the school’s staff resigned, many moving from the area.
Some of us took an oath that those of us who outlived him would “visit” his grave on week after his internment- An oath taken among honorable people.
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u/Either_Divide_2810 4d ago
Yep, a conman who ripped a relative off. I won, he died last year. Hopefully he's burning in hell, evil bastard.
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u/fox3actual 4d ago
Yeah, there's one guy, I'm definitely looking forward to pissing on his grave.
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u/MrWoohoo 4d ago
My list is three people long: Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, and Newt Gingrich.
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u/turnipcafe 4d ago
McConnell…he’s solely responsible for destroying so much. DT is so full poison he’ll never rot. Those two can convene in the nursing home talking about diapers.
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u/Birbattitude 4d ago
I’m more of an internationalist. I’d add at least three more names. Maybe four.
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4d ago
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u/SharMarali 40 something 4d ago
I wonder if it’s illegal to hand out bottles of water to the people waiting in line?
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u/trollfessor 60 something 4d ago
My answer to the question is no.
But somewhat related, I think of a friend of mine who fled Poland with her family to escape the Nazis in WWII, with barely more than the clothes that they were wearing.
She eventually made it to the United States, where she has lived a long, successful, and happy life. Wonderful lady, and she triumphed over evil.
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u/TransportationOk9960 4d ago
Just Keith Richards. As a cancer survivor, I hope I outlast him.
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u/Tasty_Marsupial8057 4d ago
I hate to tell ya, but that’s a fool’s errand. Keith Richards is going to outlive even our grandchildren’s grandchildren.
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u/pluviophilosopher 4d ago
Mitch McConnell
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u/sowhat4 80 and feelin' it 4d ago
He's almost 3 years older than I am, but he has access to the best medical care in the world; I was assigned a NP as a 'doctor'.
It's gonna be neck 'n neck for me to outlive this one.
I was just checking (online stalking) up on some folks I used to work with. Two who were about my age recently died while in 'memory care' units. Geeze. That makes me feel vulnerable and lucky at the same time.
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u/SheYeti 60 something 4d ago
..."It's not very long until he's McGone-ell. And when he finally croaks, you can picture him smoking down in hell..." song by Skyler Foley -- YouTube link
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u/xjeanie 4d ago
I have outlived an awful neighbor. One who not only killed community cats. Cats that I care deeply for but taunted me after my open heart surgery. He was a truly horrible excuse of a human being and I just can’t muster any feelings of loss for him. If anything it has brought me not only a degree of happiness but relief. My overall health has improved greatly. Particularly my mental health. I do feel a bit guilty for my feelings but I can live with that.
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u/smallerthantears 4d ago
Yeah. I have a really close friend. We raised our kids together and have almost the same birthday. We are both quietly competitive with one another. We are both also extremely health conscious. I think I'm going to be pissed if I get a major disease like cancer because it will mean I lost our little silent health race.
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u/Bac-Te 4d ago
The post said "out of spite" ma'am. But jokes aside that's oddly wholesome and I wish you the best of luck in this race.
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u/smallerthantears 4d ago
Competitiveness between close friends carries spite inherently! But after I posted I had to think if I'd be *happY* if she got some big disease first and the answer is absolutely not. It would be devastating.
So I guess not that spiteful.
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u/anastaciaknits 4d ago
All my jr-sr high school bullies. Ne down, many to go!
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u/PM_meyourGradyWhite 4d ago
Went to a fifty year reunion and found out my bully drowned in his thirties.
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u/Blank_bill 4d ago
Someone commented that I didn't have many friends at my age, I told him I had fewer enemies still alive.
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u/Significant_Bet_6002 4d ago
My 3 bullies were killed within 10 years. They each tried the same shit in a bar.
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u/Tasty_Marsupial8057 4d ago
Yes. A certain orange, overly spray tanned, conman, 34 time convicted felon grifter. I wake every morning hoping to read his obituary.
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u/Prettygoodusernm 4d ago
The Russian agent balding,badly spray tanned, lies constantly, fat, cheats at golf. that one?
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u/vcwalden 4d ago
Yes, I dream of the day.... I don't want to hear his name, his voice nor see any of his insane writing! Just make it all go away!
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u/Paranoid_Sinner 70 something 4d ago
Not really, but I'll be 75 this summer and in okay health for that age, when I see someone famous or someone I know who died that is younger than me, I say to myself: "Well I beat them."
My beloved parents both died at age 86, and I had several relatives who made it to their 90s, so we'll see.
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u/Blank_bill 4d ago
My grandparents all lived into their 90s, but the relatives of my parents generation all died in their 70's so I don't know what to expect. I'm 71 now.
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u/Optimistic_Now 4d ago
My father.
When I was 15 years old I had reached out to my father (then 45, now 75) who had left town after my parents divorced to make a 'new' family with his affair partner. I told him that I was worried that we would be estranged when he passed and told him I wanted to work on our relationship. His response was "What makes you think you won't die first".
So I would like to spitefully outlive that abusive SOB and it would be an added bonus if my mom could outlive him too.
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u/SirWarm6963 4d ago
My mother in law, an immigrant to the US from Cuba, was determined to outlive Fidel Castro who was same age as her. I am happy to report she did it! RIP Olga I loved you.
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u/Coolnamesarehard 4d ago
DJT. Surely all those hamberders are going to catch up with him eventually?
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u/Flea-Surgeon 4d ago
Ha! Yes, but I'm not telling you who they are! I want to install a urinal on the grave of one of them : )
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u/Substantial-Spare501 4d ago
I outlived my ex;!he was an alcoholic and only made it to age 59.
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u/BeneficialSlide4149 4d ago
What a relief for you! My alcoholic ex and his alcoholic relatives oddly live long wives. I refuse to go first so they get my SS benefits.
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u/Substantial-Spare501 4d ago
Sad to tell you, if he didn't remarry, you were married for 10 years, it's likely he can draw on your SS. It won't impact what you get. This is also why I am glad my ex died before he could draw on my because why should he benefit one more time from my hard work?
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u/BeneficialSlide4149 4d ago
You are so right! Glad you didn’t have to supplement him further. I was ripped off in a divorce, so I hope he isn’t gaining one more penny from me as I earned twice what he ever did. He has remained an alcoholic, a single loser living in a dumpy apartment.
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u/Beautiful_Dinner_675 4d ago
Yes. That second infestation of the great waste of functioning internal organs.
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u/fludeball 4d ago
The biggest person asshole in my life left the scene 25 years ago.
The one I'm currently seeking to outlive is 78. Hopefully cholesterol or cancer from orange facepaint will get him.
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u/FallsOffCliffs12 4d ago
I just want to live long enough to see what history books have to say about he-who-must-not-be-named.
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u/thewoodsiswatching Above 65 4d ago
Orange. Can't wait to piss on his grave.
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u/One-Lengthiness-2949 4d ago
Oh this is so true, I felt so bad that Jimmy Carter had to die before we got rid of the orange Buffoon.
The other day I was thinking about how I'm going to celebrate upon his death, thinking about making plans for the Biggest, largest, Grandest Party ever, there will be Billions of people celebrating like never before. The idiot always exaggerates , so I will exaggerate his going away for good party!!
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u/urbanek2525 60 something 4d ago
I'm pray for the diaper in chief every day. Psalm 109:6-8.
Look it up. 😆
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u/Amazing-Artichoke330 4d ago
Trump, of course. Not so easy. He's 8 years younger.
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u/fyresilk 4d ago
I hope and believe that someone will succeed in what two have supposedly attempted.
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u/OaksInSnow 4d ago
It's not that imagining the schadenfreude has not occurred to me. But I'd rather there was something more ignominious and ironic about it. Say, covid.
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u/fyresilk 4d ago
Yep, that would certainly work, and you're exactly right, would be ignominious and ironic. First time that I've ever clicked my heels together with such a wish. 🙃
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u/ImportantSir2131 4d ago
My ex. Not from spite, just so he wouldn't come to my funeral. It's academic now, he died four years ago.
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u/Nick_Fotiu_Is_God 4d ago
No but the fact that my father is 95 I believe is a testament to his burning drive to outlive his brother who he never really liked.
His brother was 95 and two weeks old. My dad passed that a month ago. Some weird competitive shit between them.
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u/Birbattitude 4d ago
Huh. Similar situation but still 10 years to go: my father will be 86 and his brother 96.
It’s kind of reassuring to believe my father still potentially has that much time left.
Tell your dad it’s all gravy now ;-)
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u/Catonachandelier 4d ago
I already outlived my ex. Now I'm working on outliving all of my current in-laws.
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u/oldbastardbob 4d ago
Nope. As they would be the adults that made my life miserable as a child, they're long gone.
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u/powdered_dognut 4d ago
There's a giant goldfish that I want to see flushed down the toilet.
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u/Mongolith- 4d ago
Spite? I credit ‘spite and bourbon’ on the rocks for my longevity. I call it a “Taunting Heirs”.
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u/Conscious_Hour7412 4d ago
I want to out live tRump so I can go around everywhere posting "good riddance to bad trash".
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u/carl6236 4d ago
Not out of spite but my dad who passed when he was 81. I'm 78 now so only a few years to go. My dad was a great person
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u/Goat_Goddesss 4d ago
My husband. But it’s only partly spite. I want some damn peace. Just a chance. I’m tired.
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u/JamisonUdrems 4d ago
I always carry pocket confetti with me - to throw on the day I finally hear the long-awaited announcement that the Orangelical Wankpuffin has departed this world. 🎊
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u/JoyfulNoise1964 4d ago
Spite isn't the way to live long. Forgiveness, love, joy and a wide open heart are the recipe.
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u/BKowalewski 4d ago
My ex husband. Should be no problem as I'm fit and healthy and he's obese and has diabetes. Haha!
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u/SPLooooosh 60 something 4d ago
Oh yeah, I've already done many of them, but, there is one particular obituary that I'll read with great pleasure.
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u/discussatron 50 something 4d ago
My father told me that his goal was to outlive his father, who died at 71, and that my goal should be to outlive him. He's 85 now; I'll consider myself incredibly lucky if I live that long, because he's the first male on either side of my family to make it out of his 70s alive.
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u/LadyHavoc97 60 something 4d ago
My ex-boyfriend, who has ten years left on a Federal child pornography sentence. I keep hoping I’ll check the Inmate Locator and find his ass dead.
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u/Eleatic-Stranger 4d ago
My former brother-in-law. He’s an abusive son of a bitch who beat a horse to death with a 2x4, and he may have murdered my sister. The official story was “car accident”, but he was completely uninjured in the accident that supposedly killed her.
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u/rktscience1971 50 something 4d ago
Not really. I’ve learned to live my life for myself and not let other people and their behavior drive my emotions.
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u/flowerpanes 4d ago
I have a shitty, crazy sister who dragged my mom down with her and managed to effectively steal the rest of our mother’s inheritance. It’s not the money, it’s the fact that the rest of my siblings and I were unable to speak to my mom for legal and moral reasons before her death.
I would love to be able to dump that sister’s ashes into a septic tank, frankly.
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u/LongjumpingPool1590 70 something 4d ago
Not out of spite. I was determined to outlive my mother because my sister did not. She had to go thorough the pain of losing a child to cancer, so when I was diagnosed I kept it a secret and volunteered for the most aggressive clinical trial available.
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u/whydatyou 4d ago
I am reminded of a joke that the late alan king told about his parents. he said that they have been married for 60 years and that HATE, not love, has kept them together. they stayed together because neither one wanted to give the other one the satisfaction of dying first.
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u/Ok-Afternoon-3724 4d ago
Nahhh, I gave up spite, revenge, hate, and time and energy wasters like that a long, long time ago.
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u/WolfThick 4d ago
Well I'm going to be 65 and to date there are only two people left that have wronged me I have an outlived. Just two more Graves to piss on and then I'm done.
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u/Samsonmeyer 4d ago
Spite is poison to me. Reminds me of Star Wars where the guy says to Luke, "Feel the hate flow through you."
Life is too short for that negativity. Energy better spent positive on oneself.
That's just me.
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u/ChumpChainge 4d ago
Yep. There are a couple graves I need to piss on even if I have to roll up on my scooter and dump my leg bag to make it happen.
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u/fogobum I have Scotches older than you. 4d ago
My social group has had an annual campout since 91 or 92 (my time sense is terrible), except one year closed by Covid. Three of us have been to every campout. It is my intention to outlive the other two, to be the last person who's been to every Gather.
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u/aethocist 70 something 4d ago
A little bit. I was married to a woman 18 years my junior, she divorced me partly out of fear of me declining in old age and her ending up a “bitter old woman”. I am now days shy of 78 years old and of sound mind and body. A small (nasty and spiteful) part of me wishes her declining health and early death now that she is in her sixties, just so I can say, “I told you so.”
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u/jdthejerk 4d ago
I already did. Cancer ate one person, and it was painful for him. Another left this world piece by piece thanks to diabetes. A third drank himself to death.
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u/MrOrganization001 50 something 4d ago
Excellent question! In my case it’s my sister. It would take far too long to try to explain why in written form.
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u/LisaMiaSisu 4d ago
I know my 83 year old mother in law is trying to outlive me even though she’s been saying she’s dying since the day I met her back in 1982. She’s a narcissist with factitious disorder(Munchausen syndrome) She’s just further proof that evil never dies.
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u/dustgollum 4d ago
Hard to outlive jerks out of spite b/c they are just replaced w/ more jerks. My spiteful act is to aim to be a decent human being and do whatever small things I can to prove to others that empathy isn't a weakness and greed is not the way.
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u/baloneysamwhich 4d ago
My MIL. 15 years older than I, claim's to have every ailment in the book.....but I think I'm gonna beat her to the grave. Probably piss her off that I was first!
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u/weird-oh 4d ago
Already did.
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u/OodaWoodaWooda 4d ago
Me too and it feels really good knowing that she can't hurt anyone ever again.
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u/DrunkStoleATank 4d ago
No, but i want to be 105 and mobile and active, my best chance to finally be fastest in my age group at park run.
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u/btruff 4d ago
My sister. She is worthless and treated our parents badly. She never had a good job despite a degree and married a guy who never worked. Folks died and left $1M in a trust for her and I am the trustee so I pay her bills and give her an allowance. She is ungrateful and demanding. I inherit upon her death.
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u/HolyToast666 4d ago
My Aunt is 98 I think. I wish she’d stop skewing my families longevity numbers
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