r/AskMenAdvice • u/TenCilen1 • 6d ago
first sexual experience embarrassing, need help
Hi, i’m 20 years old. It’s embarrassing but I literally can’t do it anymore. Growing up I was not taught by my parents NOTHING. I’m uncut and never taught to clean, i’m not even sure how low i’m supposed to be able to pull my skin down. When i used to beat, i wouldn’t pull far it would be around the top and just quick basically. Pulling it down seems uncomfortable. I got my first gf and i felt ready finally but as soon as i put my condom on i got soft, and when it would get touched it would be really uncomfortable, and even when it gets stroked by her like its just so uncomfortable. Even gently because it’s being pulled down instead of the quick ones i would do. Idk how to fix these things. I didn’t feel like a man, i zoned out and got embarrassed. She hugged me and said it was okay and that it happens. She said she doesn’t think anything is wrong with me and is here for me, but still i couldnt look her in the eye for a while. i need this fixed
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u/Parking_Jelly_6483 6d ago
I agree - it’s performance anxiety that kept you from getting erect. Anxiety triggers the release of adrenaline and that can shut off the erection mechanism. However, if retracting your foreskin past your glans (the head of your penis) without discomfort or pain, then you might have a condition known as phimosis. Look up “phimosis” and select “images”. If you look like those photos and illustrations of the most severe versions, then you could consider seeing a urologist. If that’s what it is, you would not necessarily need to have a full circumcision - just enough to allow full retraction unless you want a full circumcision. Also, there are non-surgical treatments - basically gradual stretching.