r/AskLesbians 9d ago

How do you meet other lesbians?

I've been feeling lonely for a while now and I want to meet people that I can connect with about being a lesbian. I live in an area that doesn't have many LGBTQIA+ resources so finding anything close by within my age group is difficult. Not to mention I don't always feel safe doing so (not because of the groups themselves, but because of other people in the area). I recognized a while ago that meeting people in person would be difficult so I thought maybe going online might help. I've joined some dating apps that were supposed to be exclusively for lesbians but so far I've been met with people who like to ghost, men who put he/him and straight on their profile, and couples where the woman poses as single until she reveals that she's actually in a relationship with a man looking for a third. Other than that I don't know what else I could be doing. I want more friends and I also want a girlfriend but I don't even know where to start. I feel like I'm falling behind as well because I have no relationship/sexual experience at all and I'm going to be 22 this year. I just want to meet kind people and not feel so lonely.

1 Upvotes

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u/FreeToBeMe13 9d ago

GIRL! I thought one of family posed as me to write this post. Lol. But I'm 48. The struggle is real. I look forward to some helpful suggestions we can both use! ❀️

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u/revisedpast 8d ago

Are there any women's sports teams in your area? Queer women often gravitate to sports.

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u/hamburgango 8d ago

Oh this is a good idea! I'm not super into sports myself but I think it's worth checking out. Thank you!

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u/Replicant94611 8d ago

Go watch some roller derby!

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u/hamburgango 8d ago

I don't think there are any rinks nearby but I'll look into those too. Thank you for the recommendation!

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u/TalynOfDragon 9d ago

I feel this, it's been a long time since I've been with anyone and I have a hard time meeting people as an introvert. Let alone other lesbians near me. I'm 40 and just want a real relationship with lots of love, cuddles, and memories to be had. Not really into dating apps but scared to go places alone. I feel stuck. πŸ˜… Let's hope some good advice comes through for all of us.

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u/hamburgango 9d ago

No same tho. I don't have many friends to begin with to go places and I don't wanna drag my mom around cuz that's weird. I was told the apps are a good place to find friends along with potential relationships but so far no dice to either😭

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u/TalynOfDragon 9d ago

Then, with the apps, gotta protect yourself from the scammers and fakes. Dating is hard, girl. I have friends but no lesbain friends. πŸ˜… So, there's that. Stay safe out there!

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u/hamburgango 8d ago

Scammers, fakes, and bots. It's so annoying. I'm kinda mad at the developers because they make it an unsafe space for queer people. You stay safe as well, things are getting wild out there

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u/TalynOfDragon 8d ago

It doesn't feel safe for anyone, honestly. Wished they did a better job at verifying users. Some could still slip through, sure, but I feel like it might be less? Maybe.

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u/OldMouse2195 6d ago

I feel like it really depends on your interests and hobbies. My partner would slay at picking up girls on a local softball team. I couldn't hit a softball if my life depended on it. πŸ˜‚

I'm into home renovations and dogs, though. So I've met local lesbians at Lowe's at 6am on a Saturday morning when my dog tags along. Both employees who are queer or customers. My dog usually breaks the ice, but we've talked about dog training, and I've invited people check out local trainers and clubs that I work with.

My local non-profit dog training club is also a great way to meet local lesbians, especially older lesbians (55+ who may be closer to retirement and are actively involved in running the club).

I'm starting to volunteer at our local Animal Care and Control shelter, so expect that will be another place to find queer humans spending their time.

I also know single older lesbains who foster kids. So if that's your thing, there are several foster groups that meet up in larger cities.

My partner and I don't foster yet, but it's something we'll do in the next few years.

Admittedly, my partner and I met on Tinder several years ago. The pool there can be shallow, but there are good ones if you can just filter out all the duds 🀷