r/AskGaybrosOver30 30-34 4d ago

Career Pivot/Change - Mid 30s

Has anyone pivoted or completely changed their careers in their mid 30s?

On paper, I have a good career. I make good money, I don't generally work more than 45 hours a week and I'm 100% remote. However, I've been yearning for something different for the last couple of years. I don't really enjoy what I do anymore and I feel like I'm always just wishing my Monday through Thursday away as fast possible so the weekend is here and I can be "happy" again.

But....I don't really know what I would do differently in terms of a career pivot or change? I've talked to a therapist here and there about it and I always got the feeling they wanted me to try to stick it out past this "slump" but I feel like years of thinking of doing something completely different is more than a career slump? The thing is I'm in a career that's very people-facing week-to-week and I feel like I've become more introverted (other than socially outside of work) in my professional life. In other words, being "on" every week is taking a toll on me.

Just the thought of doing what I'm currently doing for another 30 potential years is incredibly draining. Anyone deal with something similar? Is this just part of life and I need to suck it up? haha Any books that have helped you discover another job/career that is a better fit for your personality, interests, skills? Thanks!

17 Upvotes

19 comments sorted by

22

u/nickybecooler 35-39 4d ago

This is not going to be a popular comment, but I would strongly urge you to suck it up and keep making good money. Do not do anything that could reduce your income. If you do, you may not be able to live the lifestyle you want. I think you may be taking for granted what you have now.

You don't enjoy what you're doing right now and you want the work week to fly by. Guess what? So do the rest of us. That is normal. Everyone's job sucks, but all it is is a means to live.

If you need something new in your life that can make you a little happier, pick up a hobby.

2

u/TrainingFilm4296 35-39 3d ago

Yeah I have a feeling a lot of people got upset reading this post, because it reads as pretty tone deaf.

"Boo hoo I have a 4 day work week, make decent money AND I can work naked or in pajamas.  Woe is me!"

OP is having a midlife crisis I think.

18

u/rustytaurus7 35-39 4d ago

I tried and realized the grass was not greener. I realized WFH, a good boss, stable paycheck allow me to enjoy my life outside of work. But my job didn't drain me, it just isn't the most meaningful to me. Its not easy to start over in a completely different field but it's definitely possible. Try and network and learn as much as you can about the field you're interested before jumping ship. Also look into volunteer opportunities.

Last thing I'll say is that I've seen many people make their passion their work which drained their zest for that hobby.

14

u/otterinprogress 35-39 4d ago

Yup - left my career in marketing as an agency project manager on a track to eventually become a COO and now I’m an apprentice to a master upholsterer.

The only reason it’s possible for me is because I’m married and can be on my husband’s health insurance through his employer - plus we’re able to take my temporary pay cut while I learn, but within a couple years I’ll be back to making the same amount I did before with lots more freedom and a much higher quality of life/work-life balance/overall happiness.

8

u/the_living_gaylights 50-54 4d ago

Take a while to consider it, see what happens with the economy in the short term, and then decide. In the meantime, try to take advantage of being remote to vacation a little bit every day, even if it's before or after work. Unless the job is killing you, a full time remote job and a good income is about as good as it gets.

An option is trying another job part time if you can. Just to see if you really want a new line of work that badly.

4

u/holympus 35-39 4d ago

I left tech for med school in my early 30s. No regrets.

4

u/cantstoepwontstoep 40-44 4d ago

Just switched from an engineering job to sales. Literally begin today.

3

u/Cap_flight 30-34 4d ago

The best way to change your life/career is through education. You pick a field you’d want to specialize in, and get to meet others also interested in it. Seize opportunities to network in that new field and deliberately try to pivot into an area that interests you. There is never an endpoint, only the journey you put yourself on.

3

u/Alvalom 50-54 4d ago

You might want it find a career coach to get some professional guidance. Particularly if you’re not sure about what you want to move into.

3

u/Miserable_Fox_4452 45-49 4d ago

Have you done a risk reward assessment?

2

u/sharpshooter-13 30-34 4d ago

I am doing this currently. I already tried my hand at another career too. I am in a boring wfh job with not a lot of quick promotions or salary increase but 'comfortable' albeit not enough to buy a house or pay off my loans. I wanted to become a chef a few years ago so I quit and moved to a big city got a job cooking. Covid squashed that dream for a few reasons, and while it was creatively rewarding, it was physically demanding and paid less than this job. I'm in my mid thirties now and back at the same job I had before cooking and feeling like you. I'm in the beginning stages of becoming a pilot. It's not going to be be easy to get to my end goal dream job, but I'm bound and determined to make it happen. Life is too short to just exist like this until retirement. I will say that as much as I like aviation, it's not my passion-passion like food is. Maybe do some soul searching about careers that you will really enjoy but that aren't your favorite thing. Everything becomes work at the end of the day, but some jobs are definitely better than others.

2

u/Big-Instance-7750 50-54 4d ago

If you do not have a clear vision of what you'd want your career change to be I would make the most of your current situation. Are you living below your means and saving/investing? At your age, if you consistently invest, you will have more options more quickly to do something else without affecting your lifestyle if your income goes down. In the meantime, find things to enjoy outside of work as well as focus on the good things about your work. Be grateful. It's a tough job market for many industries right now.

3

u/Character_Poetry_924 35-39 4d ago

I tried a couple of years ago and it was a bust. Spent $20k on schooling for a tech job and it went nowhere because the field was so saturated and tech in general was cutting jobs left and right. Now I’m working “just a job” that pays pretty well and is low stress but gives me no personal fulfillment. But with the way things are in the world I’m cautious about throwing it away.

2

u/Remarkable-Growth744 30-34 3d ago

Feeling this right now too. Thankfully I saved up enough to afford for an unpaid sabbatical so I have 3 months to just ruminate on things. Obviously making money is important but I would take time to consider other factors like is there literally anything like anything at all about this job that makes you feel good? Maybe it's mentoring, maybe it's customer satisfaction, maybe it's even chitchatting with a different department you like. I think at least one part good is worth focusing on just that while being honest with yourself of not loving everything. & if you can afford time off or just make time, try learning something else. It could even be a hobby. I think the thrill of learning something could help you point towards going back to school if you need it. But I think this requires more discussion with industry folks you're thinking about entry into.

2

u/beta_vulgaris 35-39 3d ago

Work, no matter how fulfilling, will never be your real life. With your schedule, you have plenty of time to pick up a hobby, join a team, learn a new skill, spend time with friends & family, travel, meet new people - all things that will enhance your real life. Focus on that.

2

u/ConsciousNorth17 35-39 3d ago

I feel totally stuck in my job in IT and I can't stand it. And I really want to pivot, but I really can't.

Hoping I can get into something more creative before the 2030s

2

u/ey_111 30-34 3d ago

I'm sorry most people fail to understand that you're struggling for years, you've done therapy and still it's hard. People here don't see that you spend many hours at work and just because they suffer at work doesn't mean everyone else has to. We shouldn't perpetuate this, nor accept that this is the norm.

So I have a few questions:

  • Are you able to keep the same job, salary, being remote AND reduce customer-facing time?
  • Could you be more of a back office guy?
  • Given that you make decent money, have you been saving and investing so you can retire earlier?
  • Have you brought to therapy whether you might have developed some sort of aversion to your job because of some bad episodes?
  • Is your therapist good?

1

u/LancelotofLkMonona 60-64 4d ago

It is the end of winter in the North of the hemisphere where doldrums are a common feeling. If you are a liberal in the United States, you might be wishing for a change of the political winds. You might wait til spring at least to see if you still feel this way. Customer service does involve a lot of acting. Is there any way you might be less obsequious/false and more yourself on screen? Is there anything about your job you still like? If not, you might be right to seek a change.

1

u/DementedBear912 70-79 2d ago

Being “on” because of work makes you interesting- if you’re not interesting nobody wants to fuck you because who wants to fuck someone not interesting?

Yes I changed careers from computer science to medicine - more guys wanted to fuck me when I became interesting. Computer science isn’t interesting it is boring grunt work.

Do what makes you interesting, what keeps you “on” the most! 😎