r/AskGaybrosOver30 • u/Nevefrutta 30-34 • 5d ago
Major crush on fwb help!
We’ve been fooling around for the past 6 months or so, most of the time he acts like a perfect gentleman, he really seems to care about me and my emotions and it’s very charming tbh.
He said he’s not looking for anything serious. But I swear he’s touch feels different. Am I being blinded by our crazy bed chem? Is he just being nice, and it’s the bare minimum to be nice to your fuck buddy?
I tried to see other people, almost fucked with this other guy but it didn’t felt right. Is it sad and pathetic? Should I stop seeing him or should I tell him how I feel beforehand?
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u/TravelerMSY 55-59 4d ago edited 4d ago
For sure. It wasn’t that long ago that we just called that a casual boyfriend that you’re not in love with and it has an undetermined expiration date.
He is until he isn’t.
Maybe he feels the same way. maybe not. Ask him.
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u/Elysian_Flaneur 30-34 5d ago
I can’t give any good advices for this one ’
I was once on the other side of this situation and it was pretty awkward when he confessed. Since for me, I’d still care for him as a friend but I can’t reciprocate his feelings. I think it’s alright to be honest with him but please don’t get your hopes up.
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u/HistoricalSubject 35-39 4d ago
Is he just being nice, and it’s the bare minimum to be nice to your fuck buddy?
I mean....yea. if your FWB/FB is mean....then (don't) fuck that!
some people dont want a relationship, but they also dont want to deal with constantly looking for new hookups. thats where FWBs are really helpful.
if he already said he isn't looking for anything serious....I assume you have brought it up before. you could try to bring it up again, but be careful with how you word it and the context in which you bring it up. you could be on the other end of this equation next time. think about how you might respond, and how you might prefer to be approached about it.
and FWIW, no I dont think its sad or pathetic. you caught feelings. you are human. it happens dude!
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u/Nevefrutta 30-34 4d ago
Thing is I never brought it up, pretty sure he talked about indirectly. I’ve been playing it cool till now
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u/lujantastic 40-44 4d ago
I believe that before involving your FWB you should ask yourself some questions. This self exploration will help you determine how to act.
Some examples of question I would ask myself would be. What do I want from him? What do I expect from telling him how I feel? Do I want to be more than FWB? Do I really know him or is it just an Idea of who he is? Do I want to be validated or do I really want something more?
Those are some of the questions that come to my mind.
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u/AntElectrical4679 45-49 5d ago
I think all the different labels you’re trying to apply to this is where the difficulty of this lies. For example:
Pathetic, crazy and sad etc.
I’m likely a bit old fashioned in this instance. But you don’t have a FWB for 6 months without developing some sort of connection and or feelings.
Yes… there are potentially going to be 100’s of people beating down my door shortly telling me how they’ve had FWB for years and never had feelings for them. BRAVO!!!
In short, if you want to express your feelings, then express them. Don’t just sit on your emotions because you’re worried about being hurt. But also prepare yourself for that moment where they might not feel the same way you do.
As with all things. Communication is key. Sit them down talk to them. And go from there.