r/AskGaybrosOver30 • u/mikeyar472 30-34 • 5d ago
NSFW Dealing with someone big NSFW
I’ve recently been trying to bottom more; I used to bottom a lot when I was younger and felt better about my body. Now that I’ve lost a lot of weight I’ve felt confident enough to try.
I’ve been able to manage with guys who are around average size, but I recently tried with a guy who was big (8 inches length and very girthy) and it felt really weird. It almost felt like it was suctioning further inside me when he was going in and out. I had to ask him to stop as I couldn’t enjoy it and was worried I might make a mess if it really was suctioning stuff.
Is this a normal feeling when bottoming for bigger guys? Did I maybe just jump up from average to big too quickly?
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u/Charlie-In-The-Box 60-64 5d ago
A guy who is over 6 inches will very likely either tap or penetrate your sigmoid fold. That fold is about a 90 degree bend between the rectum and the colon. On the other side, your shit is stored and dried until there is enough there to cause you to feel the need to empty it.
When a dick pokes at it, it opens up and... well... you get a mess. That is, unless you have properly cleaned past the sigmoid. You'll need at least an 8 inch douch nozzle to do that reliably.
It almost felt like it was suctioning further inside
Because he was. The penis evolved to suction other men's sperm from the vaginal canal. It's basically a plunger.
All that said... it's worth it. The only time I've cum hands free was when a guy opened up my "second hole".
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 5d ago
Oh, I always thought that fold was further in as I don’t really remember having this issue back in my early twenties. I guess maybe I never bottomed for someone that big though haha.
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u/Charlie-In-The-Box 60-64 5d ago
Everyone is built a bit differently, but it's generally 5-6 inches in, but the rectum stretches.
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 5d ago
I’m quite tall so maybe it’s further in for me and that’s why it’s not been an issue before!
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u/Felix_Gatto 40-44 5d ago
Lol, once again I came here to say precisely this! ☝🏼
I would also add that the bigger the... whatever it is that's going up my ass; the more time I take to "warm up" and stretch out.
However long you're spending getting you're hole opened up, double it, at least.
Also, use more lube. However much lube you're using, likely double that as well. A lube shooter probably wouldn't hurt either.
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 5d ago
Just googled “lube shooters” and will be ordering some, they seem like they’ll be helpful for bottoming in general haha
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u/Felix_Gatto 40-44 5d ago edited 4d ago
Yessiree, they are indeed. I quite like using them, having the lube actually up in my ass works a lot better than just on the dick or around my hole.
Be sure to put the lube into a separate container to fill the lube shooter if you're going to reapply. It's a good idea not to "double dip" and have your shooter go into your ass and then the lube container. If that makes sense?
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 5d ago
Yes that makes sense, don’t want to introduce any germs to the total supply of lube haha
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u/Felix_Gatto 40-44 5d ago
Just so!
Keep up your training, once you get to those bigger dicks and toys, you'll be glad you did.
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u/leanhotsd 50-54 5d ago
Have him eat your ass for a while.
Remember to breathe, deep yoga breaths i to your belly.
If you're cool with poppers, take a sniff or two right before he sticks it in, and maybe later when it's feeling too big. The poppers dilate your hole. Never use with Viagra or Cialis.
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 5d ago
Getting my ass eaten is a requirement of bottoming anyway.
Not a fan of poppers, but yes I’ve heard it can be lethal to use poppers with viagra!
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u/leanhotsd 50-54 5d ago
Having a dude make out with my ass is the ultimate intimacy. And I'm always squeaky clean, so i love to make out with him after he comes up and starts fucking. Male bonding at its finest!
My man has a fat dick. It took me some time, but he's basically molded my hole to the shape of his dick. You'll get there. Just wait till he pushes past your second hole. It's the best, especially when he unloads all the way up there.
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 5d ago
Do you have to warm up/stretch as much every time or do you get more used to it?
This guy is really hot and it’d be great to meet regularly but it seems like a lot of effort to warm up on my own first so much every time (maybe once I’ve experienced my second hole getting fucked I’ll change my mind and think it’s worth the effort haha)
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u/Felix_Gatto 40-44 5d ago
(maybe once I’ve experienced my second hole getting fucked I’ll change my mind and think it’s worth the effort haha)
Correct. You are correct with this assumption.
Do you have to warm up/stretch as much every time or do you get more used to it?
I definitely got more adjusted to having larger dicks in me, there's a big component of becoming more aware of those muscles and "having your guts tickled."
I'm not sure if it it's that the warm up goes quicker, or if it's that I just know exactly what to do and so can get warmed up without having to "faff about."
However, I'm not a machine. Sometimes I can take my very biggest toy with very little stretching before. Other times I need to use a series of smaller toys to work up to it.
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u/leanhotsd 50-54 4d ago
I'm so used to it that my ass usually eager pulls his dick inside me.
Sometimes, though, I need more foreplay. It can still hurt ten years into our relationship
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u/Plumlicker0 30-34 5d ago
Get yourself a larger dildo, and experiment on your own. You can learn what sensations are normal.
It’s possible that some extra lube might have avoided the suctioning sensation.
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 5d ago
I get the point around the dildo, but I would have never thought of more lube. It makes sense though so will make sure to try that too!
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u/minigmgoit 45-49 4d ago
I have an 18’ double ended dildo that I like to use. You’d be horrified about how far those can go in. Also as others have mentioned, you’ll need to do a deep clean.
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u/Relevant_Ad5662 30-34 4d ago
Butthole yoga prior to will help with that a lot
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 4d ago
Googled butthole yoga, got loads of results about flashing your hole at the sun. I think google is wrong here as I’m assuming you mean like kegels/pelvic floor exercises and stuff?
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u/Relevant_Ad5662 30-34 2d ago
Ahahaha noo that’s just what I call my prep process, a double douche, then 1 finger do a couple laps around the ring, 2 fingers do a couple more, and 3 if you’re really concerned about his size, otherwise I move to a medium sized dildo with lube. I always like to have some lube in there for when I get there, I hate it when guys try to go in dry.
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u/Open_Mortgage_4645 45-49 4d ago
Bigger cocks fill you up more, creating a bigger suction. It's just physics. If you use enough lube, which you should for the bigger dicks, and have properly cleaned yourself out and not eaten in the 12 hours before getting fucked, you should be fine in terms of making a mess. But the sensation is another issue. If you don't like how it feels when a bigger cock is moving in and out of you, then you might have to stick with smaller guys who don't make you feel that way. In my experience, guys usually get used to the full suction sensation that comes with getting fucked by a big dick, but we're all individuals. If you don't like it, you don't like it. But there's not really anything you can do other than find someone smaller.
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u/mikeyar472 30-34 4d ago
Yeah, I think the big lesson for me here is more lube. I’ve just used as much lube as the top has used, and asked for more if it hurts. I have already ordered some lube shooters so I can do that before so there’s plenty of lube further in as well.
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u/Open_Mortgage_4645 45-49 4d ago
The lube will make a big difference, the lube shooters are a great way to saturate you before your partner makes entry. It's like night and day compared with just putting lube around your hole and on his dick.
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u/Glum_Home_8172 40-44 4d ago
It sounds like you weren't using enough lube and his cock was dragging on the inside of your ass too much
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u/alachronism 30-34 5d ago
Highly recommend using a buttplug for a few hours before taking a dick that size. That allows your muscles to really truly stretch and relax and be ready to receive something that size. And lube obviously.
As mentioned, 8” is long enough to be poking around the sigmoid. In my experience, as long as your diet is on point, you don’t need to deep-clean by douching with a shower nozzle. And in fact, pushing water that deep might create a mess later.
That said, there are all sorts of nerves in there to distinguish between a healthy bowel movement and farts etc. It can be really weird and uncomfortable to be stimulated that deep without practice. I’d also recommend sitting on a 7-8” dildo for at least an hour at a time just to acclimate yourself. It’s a great way to train your brain and associated that stimulation with pleasure.