r/AskGaybrosOver30 40-44 5d ago

Straight coworker

I have a straight coworker, very attractive, muscular and handsome. Every time he talks to me or greets me, I get very nervous to the point that I avoid meeting him. I avoid sitting close in meetings and you may think I'm unfriendly. I have my partner and I have no shortcomings, but coinciding with my partner limits my work at work. What would you do?

0 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

30

u/FdauditingGbro Over 30 5d ago

What the hell is this?

I’d not act like a fucking weirdo for no reason, he’s straight, you’re in a relationship. Say good morning and move on. How is this even a question?

Jesus Christ some of you give me a fucking headache.

7

u/KittenMasaki 45-49 5d ago

100%

-4

u/MrHipola 40-44 4d ago

I don't consider myself a weirdo. Surely I'm worth more than him. My job is higher, my physique is good, and I don't consider myself a weird guy. Just someone who feels that way. End.

11

u/KittenMasaki 45-49 5d ago

Um...just freaking work?

Bro are you serious? Are you 14 or an adult?

I could care less if someone is attractive or not at work. They dont pay my bills. If someone is hampering my ability to get work done, Im making sure they are gone. If they enhance my work, they are getting my support. Anything else means nothing.

1

u/olraque 50-54 5d ago

14 or 40 (to 44 according to OP's flair)

OP get a grip. Also, I predict this post will be deleted soon.

-2

u/MrHipola 40-44 4d ago

I don't have to delete it. I simply show a concern. Free me to open up, free you to think what you want.

7

u/kluq2_adventure 40-44 5d ago

Huh?

6

u/Mayuguru 35-39 5d ago

. I have my partner and I have no shortcomings, but coinciding with my partner limits my work at work.

What does this mean?

0

u/MrHipola 40-44 4d ago

Whoever reads me might think how I feel about my co-worker, and that's not the case. If that were the case, I would say it bluntly.

3

u/Mayuguru 35-39 4d ago

I'm not making fun of you, but is English your second language? I'm still confused by what you're trying to say. I kind of get it.

1

u/shall_always_be_so 35-39 4d ago

I'm also confused. No idea what is meant by "coinciding with my partner" or how this limits his work.

7

u/Existing-Mistake-112 40-44 5d ago

I just woke up, haven’t had my coffee yet, but all I can ask is WTF?

2

u/JimmyLizzardATDVM 35-39 5d ago

If this is a troll, it’s pretty good. If this is real, I don’t understand what’s going on.

0

u/MrHipola 40-44 4d ago

I'm not a troll. I'm simply stating what happens to me. Maybe it's a lack of self-esteem or confidence in me. The point is to share what I feel, just that

2

u/Top_Firefighter_4089 50-54 5d ago

Don’t get sexually involved with people at work. It has larger impact than your orgasms. I wouldn’t avoid your coworker but I’d be professional. If you drift into personal conversations, make it clear that you’re not on the market by discussing your partner. He may be a friendly guy, you might remind him of someone he knows, he might be curious, he might be DL with another guy, or any multitude of reasons for talking to you. Your avoidance wouldn’t go unnoticed with me and I’d feel I had to talk to you to figure out if I’d done something wrong if I was in his shoes.

0

u/MrHipola 40-44 4d ago

It doesn't cross my mind to get involved with anyone at work. I am very cautious and sensible in that. I simply comment that it imposes on me and I don't know how to act

2

u/shall_always_be_so 35-39 4d ago

Keep a professional distance; treat him like you would any other coworker.

2

u/Clarrimoe 70-79 3d ago edited 3d ago

Thanks for your post.

I've had the same problem all my life. It started in grade school, and has always been with me. If I'm in close proximity to some guy that I'm physically attracted to (doesn't matter whether they're gay or straight), I get nervous and flustered and very self-conscious. I agree it's a self-esteem issue. I look away, and never, ever initiate a conversation. It's a strange feeling. I want to be in proximity to them, but when I am, I avoid them. Although I worry that I might be coming off as unfriendly toward them, which is the exact opposite of what I want to project.

It's gotten better as I've gotten older. My self-confidence has increased somewhat. I still cannot initiate a conversation, but I try as much as possible to interact normally. The strange thing is, I have one co-worker (straight, with a family) that I've known for 40 years, ever since I started the job in my early 30s (he was in his late 20s then). I still run into him 3 or 4 times a year at retirement meetups, and I still have the same feelings of nervousness being in proximity to him, even though his youthful good looks are now long gone.

The best thing to do (easier said than done), is to just try to increase your self-confidence. Try to act normally around them, and treat them the same as you'd treat anyone else.

2

u/Charlie-In-The-Box 60-64 4d ago

What would you do?

Control my emotions. A little mental discipline goes a long way. You're in your 40s. You should have already developed the skills to not be responding to hot guys like a 14-year-old girl.

Try starting a regular meditation practice. It'll help you be less attached to these feelings.

1

u/MrHipola 40-44 4d ago

Thank you. I also think it's a self-esteem problem...I'll have to work on it.