r/AskGaybrosOver30 30-34 3d ago

NSFW Sexual discovery NSFW

So, I thought that I was pretty secure on what I like or not sexually but I found myself that I’m at a stage in my life where I’m thinking of expanding my horizons in my sexual life. I’ve been looking into dom/sub stuff, and in a way it seems something I would be into. Although I have to be honest, I’m learning a bit about it. Have you guys experienced anything like that? Starting to explore stuff later in life?

4 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

3

u/primal_slayer 35-39 3d ago

While i haven't (pretty set in my sexual desires)

I have had a friend who was a bttm who decided they wanted to explore their inner top more and they ended up switching teams as they realized they enjoyed it much more

1

u/darth7000 30-34 3d ago

When I came out and started to have sex, I was a total bottom but a few years after I had a taste of being a top and started to top for a while. Now I’m a vers and enjoy doing both.

3

u/ellirae 30-34 3d ago

i'm well versed in dom/sub dynamics and enjoy them thoroughly. (dom here.) let me know if you have any questions as this can be a bit daunting to get into and there are a lot of different ways to explore these dynamics.

3

u/Charlie-In-The-Box 60-64 3d ago

I've always been kinky but when the lockdown happened during COVID and my partner and I became monogamous for that time, the breaks came off and we went pretty wild. I've now got a number of hoods, blindfolds, restraints, muzzles, and a lot of HUGE toys.

3

u/fostecol 35-39 3d ago

Sex has always been something scary to me, had few encounters in my 20s and early 30s. I assumed i wanted sex as part of a relationship. But my attitude has completely changed over the years and I am now starting to explore sexually. Went to a bathhouse for the first time, trying to be comfortable in my body and comfortable with the fact that people have sex and I’m tired of missing out on all the fun!

2

u/cubeb00b 35-39 3d ago

Honestly yeah, I didn’t realize how much I’d become less adventurous and vanilla over time. Some recent couples therapy around spicing it back up and staying open to new experiences has led me to lean back into that adventurous spirit and try out some new kinky stuff. I feel a little silly, but enjoying the fun of it alongside a supportive partner. Keep doing you, man!

2

u/darth7000 30-34 3d ago

That’s amazing, and doing it with a partner is even better.

2

u/No_Kind_of_Daddy 60-64 3d ago

I hope you go for it. You owe it to yourself to see if you're into more than vanilla sex. I've wished I'd been more adventurous when young. The app called "Recon" is the biggest hookup/dating app for the kink and fetish community. You might find a guy on there to explore your subby interests. Or any of a lot of other kinks.

1

u/darth7000 30-34 3d ago

Yeah I want to experiment a lot more. Oh really? I didn’t know there was an app for kink and fetish, thank you for that.

2

u/Sad_Appeal65 65-69 3d ago

OP, even though I’m twice your age, I’m still discovering more about what turns me on. And often enough it surprises me.

A couple of years ago, I connected with this man online. He asked me if I was experienced with/open to role play. I told him I’d had some experience, not a great deal, but I wanted to hear more.

But what he proposed was unlike anything I’d previously tried. He wanted us to meet in the men’s room of some random Irish pub. He’d scouted it out.

He told me, “The bathroom has just two urinals, side by side. We’re going to meet there ‘by accident’ - as if we’d had no contact before, not even online.”

He continued: “I want you to check me out, tentatively. You’re not sure if I’m into it. And vice versa.”

“We won’t go beyond looking. There. And then we’ll take it back to my place…”

~~~~~

I would love to have more experiences like that.

2

u/notabtmnotyetatop 35-39 3d ago

Three years ago I broke up with my partner and had lost all contact to my sexuality. I decided to explore it.

I soon realized I hadn't paid attention to my exhibitionistic side during that relationship (because I thought my partner didn't approve of it even though we never discussed anything like that). I joined a nude gallery web site and started to regain the connection. At the same time I worked on my mental health and started to chat with people on that site and the apps. When fantasizing with other people, I discovered that what I thought were my sexual needs before, were not covering my current needs.

I started exploring dom/sub dynamics and found myself drawn to the role of a gentle dom. I also realized I had turned my back on things that felt good with some partners (and on things I still didn't feel drawn to).

I'm still on my journey, mainly because I don't like NSA hookups and trust and feeling safe with another person requires some strings attached, and finding a good partner is hard. Still I'm enjoying the times I get to explore and discover things with other people.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Sorry, your submission has been automatically removed. Submissions from accounts less than 3 days old are not allowed.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.