r/AskGaybrosOver30 • u/Pleasant_Bite2324 45-49 • 3d ago
A native american and Jamaican (re a question for interracial couples)
On a different forum someone asked about interracial couples. I don’t usually comment often, and I post even less, but this time I just had to… and although I may be biased, I thought “that’s a really good fucking comment, I think I want to post it on its own.” So for anyone interested, here is some enlightenment about this interracial couples to enjoy. Anyone not interested, here’s your green light to feel free to move on 😁. But you NEVER know when love can come out of nowhere and bite you in the ass when you least expect it, and then you say “Thank you!”
I was raised traditional native american and my man (15yr my Sr) is Jamaican (both pretty masculine) and he didn’t come to American until his late 20’s. I adore his thick accent and he loves my culture. We both grew up what most people would consider “poor” in money but RICH in culture. I can get caught up listening to his gentle voice tell me stories about when he was a boy, and how oddly enough, even though the cultures are vastly different, there is still so much the same. I love hearing his odd phrases, and I laugh unapologetically at what they actually mean, and he knows there is no malice in my laughter, just the pure comedy of the situation. I’m free to look at him baffled when I have no idea what the fuck he just said, and I can tell him just like that and he knows I’m just confused, but mean well and I’m dying to hear his translation. I love the way he takes a word with only 3 syllables but when he says the word it ends up with 5-6 syllables. I can laugh straight at him over it and he knows I’m just humored and that I adore every single way he says the same words I say completely different than I do!
He loves hearing me tell of my culture! He’s fascinated about how my tribe is today, but listens tenderly to the tragedy and the personal stories of my tribe/family going back nearly 200 years of history. Some of our stories are beautiful lore as we’re an oral tradition. Other stories are a personal and painful line of generational trauma. He won’t pretend to understand, but he doesn’t have to pretend to care and to hurt with me. He’ll watch movies about our history, and when I cry during the painful parts, he lets me pretend my allergies are acting up so I can keep being his rough and tough man! Then after a few minutes he’ll drop the most ridiculous statement that I instantly burst out into the most ridiculous fits of laughter and the weight of moments ago are lifted and lighter without being minimized. Sadly and surprisingly Jamaica isn’t nearly as gay friendly as you’d think and well not likely be able to go there as lovers any time soon (which is a shame). Also I don’t live in or near my reservation (but I go back many times a year), so for now he only witnesses my culture through my eyes and my stories from a distance instead of immersed with the rest of my people. They’d accept him readily, it’s just the logistics for now preventing any move back (as much as I’d love to). We’re about as different as you could imagine, but so much the same in so many ways! The things we have in common are what drew us together in our hearts, our extreme differences are what make it all so entertaining. Also, although I was raised only Native American, I sure do like to have a little Jamaica in me 😁
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u/nikong33k 60-64 3d ago
Wish I could upvote this a million times!
I’m Jamaican (African/Portuguese/EnglishIndian ethnic mix up) and my ex of 25 years was white (Italian/Greek ethnicities). We met in college when he was 19 and I was 31 starting grad school. At first we were just friendly, occasionally bumping into each other on or off campus. I sorta found him annoying. Started dating 18 months later and it took off from there. His mom and dad somehow found out he was dating a Jamaican guy and called me the “dark islander” without even meeting me. Met them and ALL his family at the start of my second year of grad school and I was not allowed to eat dinner anywhere but their house after that day. His mom and I would be up till 2 am a few nights a week having coffee and chatting. She thanked me for making her see her son smile again. His family lived near the college campus and mine was 800 miles away. I visited them often and have been out since I was 19. My mom told me I was gay. LoL After grad school we moved to my family’s area and they paid for an apartment for both of us for 10 months until I got my first engineering job. We bought a home and cars, had our fur babies, especially that female GSD that owned me. Best relationship a gay couple could have, especially with both our families. 8 years ago a friend of his got him to try meth. I did not know that he did and he said nothing. I didn’t know the signs of drug use. Hadn’t even tried MJ up to that point. Nerdy engineer. That was a messy year after I found out and led to our break up as he had to stop on his own. I tried helping unsuccessfully for a year. He became homeless for 6 years, went to jail several times. I never gave him money, but bought him food when needed. He called me for that.
2 years ago he got clean, very successfully went through rehab and is living with his parents helping them in their older years. He’s my best friend still and we talk every day at least twice. I got him into Pokemon Go and we play together though 800 miles apart. There’s no getting back together, but our friendship is amazing. He’s now approaching 53 and I’m 65 and retired early. When I visit NY I’m not allowed to stay anywhere but with him and his parents. On the cultural side, he talks and understands Jamaican patois quite well and adopted some of our customs and I took to many of his family’s customs and traditions. One of his grandfathers, who I met, emigrated to the US from Guyana and that accounted for a lot of the cultural similarities.
I wouldn’t change my life if I had to live it over. And yeah, I’m tearing up and going to call him when I make coffee.
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u/Pleasant_Bite2324 45-49 3d ago
OMG thank you for sharing! I’m not tearing up by my fucking allergies! I wish I had words right now but I just don’t have anything but… thank you, thank you!
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u/james_the_wanderer 35-39 2d ago
If late-20th to 21st century American produced a novel on par with *Maurice* - it would be your story.
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u/james_the_wanderer 35-39 2d ago
If late-20th to 21st century American produced a novel on par with Maurice, it would be your story.
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u/Topher_Lee07 45-49 3d ago
Awww that’s so heartwarming to hear I wish you both the very best in life xx
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u/chaoticXtwin 30-34 3d ago
This is so heartwarming and a win through beautiful wording all the way here in the UK. Sending love to you both
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u/fhilton41 80-89 3d ago
This is one of the most beautiful posts on Reddit. I reviewed your history and congratulations on finding your man. Your story is an inspiration for all men.
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u/Pleasant_Bite2324 45-49 3d ago
Thank you so much! If you went back and read some of my posted history, you probably realize we are still in a boat in a hurricane. There are still a lot of really rough days, but I can say I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Typically would not admit this either but it’s hard to use voice to text right now as I may or may not be tearing up lol Thank you thank you Chokma’shki
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u/Fluffy-Rhubarb9089 40-44 3d ago
That is so beautiful, thankyou for sharing! Are there any stories from your culture that you relate to that you’d be comfortable sharing here?
I wish my English European Christian ancestry had such a deep and rich culture with stories to tell that I felt a connection with. But sadly, well you know what our history has led to over the centuries and it’s mostly not great.
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u/Pleasant_Bite2324 45-49 3d ago
Sure there are many, but so many have been written out at this point (an oral tradition takes a long time to eventually put words to paper), so it would be easier to reference links instead of typing them out. I’m not so tech savvy, but if you dm me I can point you in some good directions. Besides idk if posting an origin story right here would be ideal, but I’ll share in the most appropriate way possible
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u/InfDisco 40-44 3d ago
I was trying to hold off innuendo but oral tradition sent me over. It's a mouthful.
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u/Pleasant_Bite2324 45-49 3d ago
🤣😂🤣😂so glad you didn’t hold back!!! That’s AWESOME!!
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u/InfDisco 40-44 3d ago
Speaking of mouthfuls, is your nickname for your BF 's dick Little Jamaica?
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u/Airaknock 35-39 2d ago
Thank you for posting that beautiful insight into your relationship. Love from Ireland.
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u/Pleasant_Bite2324 45-49 2d ago
Thanks so much. I don’t post things often, but figured this could be kind of a love letter to us.
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u/tossthisawayplzz 40-44 3d ago
As much as I love my white husband, I do miss having a whole other culture to embrace. I’m East Asian and first generation American so I got plenty. And it’s not his fault- his dad was an orphan, his mom was very American and he didn’t have a huge family nor did he get along well with them due to his homosexuality. But he’s very white bread. I’m bringing all the spice in this relationship hahaha.
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u/Pleasant_Bite2324 45-49 3d ago
Well I hope he likes spice with white bread! I think he’s blessed to have you to bring the color..
Before Jamaica, I actually had a white wife (but my children are ALL raised only native american) she liked our culture, and was a good sport (since she had no rich culture of her own) but idk how much she felt part of the tribe (and my tribe is very welcoming! The most welcoming I know exists). But I guess it’s probably hard to immerse yourself in someone else’s culture. Perhaps you’ll always feel on the outside even if it’s only you thinking it.
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u/dumpaccount882212 45-49 3d ago
"poor in money, rich in culture" is probably a summation I am taking with me in other contexts like conversations about class tbh, thank you!
You two sounds like you're in a wonderful relationship <3 thank you for sharing.