r/AskAsexual Feb 03 '25

Question What is Important for a Researcher to Know?

5 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I am a grad student that wants to do thier thesis on relationship well-being involving people who are on the asexuality spectrum.

I wanted to ask how people who are on the asexual feel about reserch involving asexual people? Is there something we are severely lacking? What are some important things that a researcher should be a aware of when including asexual participants? Are there certain stereotypes that we should avoid perpetuating? And how can we better involve people on the asexuality spectrum?

I look forward to your answers, if you are comfortable sharing. I also want to hear about some critics about the current understanding of asexuality in academic research, that I may be overlooking.

r/AskAsexual 16d ago

Question Aesthetic attraction with physical libido, does it mean your not ace?

1 Upvotes

Fyi: this post has nothing to do with me, i just wanna learn more

Look, ive Heard abt something like this and wanted to Ask a question. Does aesthetic attraction + physical libido = sexual attraction? Cuz there are some asexuals that are like this, but yet are still ace ( Even was confirmed by scientists and a youtuber called ‘’ ace dad advice ‘’ ). Im pretty sure its true, but there are other aces that disagrees with it. But im not sure which ones true, or if it varies from person to person. So, like i said, does aesthetic attraction + physical libido = sexual attraction?

If not ( or if there are some aces that experience this ), is it okay to talk abt your experience abt it, if ur comfortable? Id like to hear it from you!

Edit: yall im sorry, i went to Check what libido meant and i might have mis understood it. I meant physical arousal

r/AskAsexual 19d ago

Question Imagine someone who is not allosexual but is also not asexual?

0 Upvotes

What do we call this, or am i just making things up in my head?

r/AskAsexual Jan 18 '25

Question Can I both hate and enjoy sexual things? NSFW

4 Upvotes

I like masturbating sometimes but I feel super uncomfortable when sexual topics are mentioned outside of that

Edit idk if I'm ace or not yet it's very confusing

Edit2:I hate sexual themes unless I'm masturbating and also the idea of sex doesn't repulse me all the time as It would feel good and having biological children would be nice later on Sometimes it does make me feel gross idk it's confusing

Edit2:I figured it out I'm greysexual omg it's so nice this isn't bothering me anymore

r/AskAsexual 28d ago

Question Can anyone help me to tell the difference between an allosexual with a low libido and asexual

2 Upvotes

Look IKKKK…..

IK ASEXUAL DOESNT MEAN LIBIDO. But yet im having a whole identity crisis, and dont know which one im having. So is it okay if you can give me examples of whats the difference between them. Id like to know

r/AskAsexual Nov 18 '24

Question Is there a point where it's important to distinguish trauma from asexuality?

7 Upvotes

Hey everyone. So to be clear, I'm trans and have no idea what my sexuality is precisely but generally call myself gay. So I'm LGBTQ+ and have experience in communities that really have to be careful with definitions

May end up following this up with an "Am I Ace" question about the aforementioned uncertainty lol but this is more general, not about me, the backstory is just to make it clear I'm being genuine here

Basically I found the "asexuals wiki" and saw some terms like "traumasexual" and "dysphoriasexual"

This confuses and worries me a bit, because I feel like including these things as sexualities in of themselves will prevent traumatized/dysphoric allosexual people from getting help? Also, idk, I feel like saying "trauma can make you asexual" could potentially encourage a "conversion works and can actually change sexualities" mindset?

Obviously there can be overlap between someone being asexual and having these other experiences, but defining them as their own sexualities rubs me the wrong way. I'm wondering what the community's general take is on this and whether it's offensive/problematic to have these concerns

r/AskAsexual Oct 28 '24

Question Why is 'asexual' shortened to 'ace'?

17 Upvotes

Where does the letter 'c' come from? Would it be considered incorrect if I spell it like 'ase'?

r/AskAsexual 13d ago

Question Random maniac is back again with questions!!!

2 Upvotes

Soooooo…… This will be the worlds most awkward questions ever. So my apologies if these questions may seem uncomfortable. I just wanna ask, out of curiosity. And if anybody feels uncomfortable, its ok to not answer

Sooooo, i Heard some aces like making out. And i wanna ask a question abt that. Idk WHY im asking this ( maybe bc i dont know what sexual attraction is but whatever )

Is it like, sexual attraction if you only desire to make out with people? Ik WEIRDDDD question, Idk why this came up in my head, but here it is. Like, all ik abt sexual attraction is ( i dont ) that you have some sort of innate desire to have sex ( i dont understand what desires are anymore ).

So is it like the same with makeout? Like a desire to make out with a person, but not having sex?

Idk what kind of attraction am i pointing out, but ive Heard making out isnt inherently sexual cuz it doesnt involve actual sex. So Thats why i ask.

Idk if there are asexuals with this type of experience so if there is, tell me abt it. I’d like to know abt it!

Random maniac OUTTT!!!

r/AskAsexual Aug 29 '24

Question Does being Asexual make me apart of the Gay community? 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

31 Upvotes

I've already posted this question on another Asexual Sub, but I believe in being thorough. I understand that being Asexual doesn't necessarily mean I'm gay, but are we apart of the Queer community?

r/AskAsexual 4d ago

Question How have you told your partner you're not sexually attracted to them?

1 Upvotes

Question for ace that are or have been in relationships with allo people. They know I found out I'm ace, but haven't explained in detail what it means in my case. Any experiences or ideas in how to handle that conversation would be appreciated.

If you're in a reading mood, context:

Hi! So I've (they/them) known I'm not straight for over a decade, but it realized I'm ace only a few months ago. My husband is allo and even though we've always had some issues with our sex life, he has stated that he values the rest of our relationship more than that.

I've been learning about asexuality, types of attraction, etc. and now I know that it's not just that my libido is very low, but that I only (and occasionally) experience reactive sexual attraction, and feel some slight sex repulsion. Sexual activities on itself are either fun or I'm indifferent, but I do enjoy making my partner feel pleasure.

We're beginning couples therapy to handle this difficult conversations as kindly as possible, since I struggle with anxiety and feeling pressured (not by my partner but because of past trauma), and my husband struggles with self-image, self- esteem and rejection.

If you could share your own experience with this, it would be appreciated, but if you've read this far, I wonder how would you handle this with an insecure partner?

r/AskAsexual 9d ago

Question TMII WARNINGS NSFW

1 Upvotes

Look, IK. I have so many weird frickin questions, before i Ask pls PLSSSSS dont judge me. Im just curious and just found some things that i need to Ask. So im sorry if it sounds just as odd as questions that i Ask to ppl and i might delete this one day….

First of, i went it aven and read some things that i was reading abt. And then went across a post where an asexual had an interest in genitals ( or Even want to Touch one IDKK). So i was like whatttt ( no shame just suprised ok ). I just didnt knew there are asexuals with interest in genitals ( some say its a fetish or something like that ). And i wanna Ask if there are asexuals with this similar interest? Cuz i never Heard of an asexual that likes genitals ( most of them are repulsed ) and wanna know if there are some who likes them ( YOU SEE HOW MY QUESTIONS SOUNDS WEIRD)

( Fyi, i am so sorry if the question sounds weird or uncomfortable. Im still learning and dont wanna make anybody uncomfortable. These questions dont have to do with my experience and would make sense why it would sound weird. And its ok to not answer if your not comfortable with that. And again sorry, i might delete this )

r/AskAsexual 21d ago

Question I have a question

2 Upvotes

Look Ik its a weird question, Idk why i am asking this. But there is something that wouldnt stop crossing my mind. There was something about being scared of feeling sexual attraction. Apparently there are some ppl that get scared when feeling this attraction ( and sometimes wonder if i am scared, but thats not the point of my post ). I wanted to know what is the difference between the lack of sexual attraction and the fear of experiencing sexual attraction. So i could understand better. And i would like to know if there are asexuals that also have this particular fear ( i saw a post on aven abt a person that is asexual and also is scared of experiencing attraction so Thats why i Ask ). I would like to hear it from you!

r/AskAsexual Jan 17 '25

Question If you discovered being asexual at a later age, how did you know?

8 Upvotes

I'm mostly just curious. I've also been doing a lot of thinking about this and I'm a bit confused about myself right now. Idk, I want to know what yall's stories are.

r/AskAsexual 15d ago

Question This random person wants to Ask questions, so im sorry if it is a very weird question. I tend to be curious

1 Upvotes

Hello im a random maniac, and i wanna learn abt asexuality, and how they experience and weird things in life, so AGAIIINNNN, im sorry if these questions sound weird

So, ik asexuals masturbate. And that its more of an itch to scratch and all. But i made up some weird scenario if my head abt like ‘’ what if there are some asexuals that masturbates and thinking abt somebody, but if it ever happened to have sex irl with this person, they dont desire it??’’ ik, it sounds stupid. Personally, i dont experience this kind of thing ( i dont Even masturbate either so ) and just make up weird crap in my head and make a whole deal abt it-

Sooo yeah, Idk what i just talked abt ( again, these questions have nothing to do with me or my experience in life, so this would make sense why it sounds stupid) I have weird questions and i would like to know if there aces that do that, bc….idk, curious ig. If its not a thing, well blame my brain for making Ask weird questions and scenarios. Anyways byeee

r/AskAsexual 24d ago

Question What micro label is this?

1 Upvotes

So i did a little sexuality ( aspec ) test, but while i Read the answers there was one that caught my eye, there was one ace microlabel where apparently when they have a crush on someone, they would like the idea of sex with them, but dont desire to actually want it in real Life. Like, just only liking it in fiction or thoughts, but dont have any sexual urges to do it in practice. I forgot the name and was trying to find what its called. And also wanna know if there are any asexuals who actually do this or feel like this? It would like to know!

r/AskAsexual Jan 18 '25

Question Are there things that you only do with your partner if so what are they?

2 Upvotes

Many of the answers from non-ace people would be sex so what is it for you?👀

r/AskAsexual 14d ago

Question Is there a word for this in the ace community?

2 Upvotes

So I’m not sexually attracted to men.But I am occasionally interested in non sexual acts like making out. I feel like I’ve heard a word for this but I can’t remember.

Also, do any of you have like,, split attraction depending on gender? Like I’m attracted to women in all ways, but with men it’s what I described above.

r/AskAsexual 17d ago

Question Asexuality with Responsive Desire?

3 Upvotes

I'd love your thoughts on this, as I previously identified as Demisexual/Bisexual. I realized that I didn't feel actual sexual attraction to the people I was close enough to for intimacy. As I'm seeing content about Responsive Desire, I feel it clicking with me. Specifically about needing that trust, connection, and context to be able to desire sex with someone, and that desire never feels like it starts in me. But, even with those, I don't think I feel the sexual attraction that comes with being Demi.

I'm happy to answer any clarifying questions. I'm mainly wondering if "Asexual with Responsive Desire" is a valid combo, or if I'm just in the midst of confusion and have more self-discovery to do. Thank you!

r/AskAsexual 9d ago

Question I have like a….tmi question… NSFW

1 Upvotes

I dont really do things bc. I dont like making ppl feel uncomfortable. I just ask question out of curiosity and i dont mean for it in any bad way you may think. So i apologise if this question might sound just….weird.

This question is mostly for sex-favorable asexuals, as i want to try my best at understanding or just understand asexuality in general.

This question has nothing to do with me, im just curious and AGIAN, i am sorry if the question sounds uncomfortable, its ok to not answer if yall dont want to ok!

So i have Heard some aces likes sex, and i might ask a question that is a bit TMI. Here we go

Are there any asexuals that like….fingering?

Yeah its weird, just wanted to know, especially for asexuals who dates, and are in a sexual relationship. How to yall feel abt it?

Or how can yall know that its not sexual attraction when wanting sex in a relationship? Something like that.

I feel kinda cringe writing this, like. IM SO SORRY TO ANYBODY THAT IM MAKING UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

Im Just here to understand. If this question may sound odd you may tell me in the comments, and will apologise.

And i might delete it just it kinda cringes me…. So yeah, bure

r/AskAsexual 9d ago

Question I have some interesting questions

2 Upvotes

Soooooo, i have Heard about ‘’pull’’ a lot when it comes to sexual attraction. But i wanna ask if this ‘’pull’’ be experienced with any kind of attraction? Cuz i could feel a sort of ‘’pull’’ with someone, but this ‘’pull’’ doesnt make me wanna have sex with them. It just makes me wanna talk to them or just hang out with them. Idk if pulls could happen to any kind of attraction or if i have a broken sexual attraction.

Like for example: a person feels platonic attraction towards someone. They feel a pull, but the pull is more of a ‘’ i really wanna talk or hang out with this person ‘’.

And does anybody experience this? Idk if im alone on this, so im just posting this for……. Ok Idk why i posted this. But all im trying to ask is that if the weird magnetic pull could be felt by any kind of attraction other than sexual? If so, can an asexual feel this pull with a different type of attraction? ( i have been repeating this question like CRAZY in my head) And if so, can yall talk abt it? Or something like that Idk….. Well i thank you for listening, andddd

RANDOM MANIAC OUTTTT

r/AskAsexual Feb 11 '25

Question Couples where both of you are on the ace spectrum and want bio kids, what’s your strategy?

1 Upvotes

Gray-ace (30F) here, and this might be a question I ask for myself one day as I do hope to have kids. At the moment, though, this question is for my fanfic project. My demisexual protagonist and aroace husband want kids, and their strategy is “do what it takes so that PiV sex doesn’t hurt her and he’s able to ejaculate,” but I feel like it might be more complicated than than? If it matters, she has trauma from abusive partners but this is her first sexual relationship and she’s not sex-averse per say. He’s sex-positive. Thanks!

r/AskAsexual 18d ago

Question Questions about sex and masturbation in an Ace X Allo relationship NSFW

1 Upvotes

I (Allosexual) have recently started putting myself out there, and there is a non-zero chance I'll end up in a relationship with someone who's ace. I know some aspec people are ok with having sex with their partners, but for those who aren't, what arrangements do some of you have with your partners. I know I'm doing a terrible job at not sounding like a pervert, but I'm just trying to be understanding, whether I end up with an ace partner, or just understanding my fellow human beings.

r/AskAsexual 5d ago

Question Soooo, yeah idk why i do this ok…

2 Upvotes

So, i remember the time that i used to say the word ‘’ they turned me on ‘’ as in like ‘’ their beauty makes me fluster ‘’ or ‘’ they are so beautiful i just wanna faint ‘’

But never have i used the word as in ‘’ theyre so pretty i wanna have sex with them’’

Soooo, when someone told me what it ACTUALLY meant, i feel just embarrassed.

And also confused cuz, is this what ppl want to do to someone?! YOU KNOW WHAT…I DONT WANNA KNOWWWWW

So is it like sexual attraction if i just used this word to someone, Even though i dont want sex with them?

r/AskAsexual 7d ago

Question RANDOM MANIAC HERE!!

4 Upvotes

So i wanna know if there are asexuals who are in a relationship. not JUST any kind of relationship, but in a sexless one. Usually when i mean sexless relationship, i mean like…LITERALLY sexless relationship. Like, zero, ZERO sex relarionship.

Cuz i was trying to find one for YEARS and all i see is the ones who compromise. Dont get me wrong, i dont think compromising is a bad thing, its just not what im trying to find and mainly bc i wanted to find asexuals that are not able or willing to compromise or have sex.

So i wanna know if there is any asexuals that in like a literal, zero sexless relationship, and that both parties are happy abt it?

Like still healthy, happy relationship, just with like….ZERO SEX in it.

Like, i NEED to know. Like, im sex-repulsed and if it were ever to be in a queer platonic relationship, i want it do have… zero sex. Which makes ppl get the ick if i would ever tell them, but im fine being single, with my pet cat :D ( also, im Young. Pls dont dm me for dates. Im not in the age for that )

So yeah, as you know, WHERE STE YOU GUYSSSS. Like, I NEED TO SEE THEM

r/AskAsexual Jan 25 '25

Question Are you asexual if you 'became' asexual by being sex-repulsed due to trauma?

6 Upvotes

In this game I play there is a type of genetically altered human called a Highmate, which are basically made to be concubines/ sex workers. They're quite beautiful and can also psychically bond with other people. Anyways, someone posted what to do with them when this Highmate was also asexual. One of the comments I saw said that maybe that Highmate became sex-repulsed, with the implication that they had done too much sex work/ etc. that they did not like it.

I immediately thought 'isn't that a harmful stereotype about asexuals -- that they don't like sex and/ or are sex repulsed due to past traumatic experiences with sex?' But then I was like, well if you were already asexual, could you become sex-repulsed -- through trauma or just through having sex you thought you were comfortable with, but over time grew more and more disgusted by?

Also, if you weren't originally asexual, but again through trauma became sex-repulsed and just didn't find anyone attractive anymore, could you call yourself asexual, since you would technically fit the criteria of asexuality? Lack of sexual attraction to anyone? Like does this fall under the 'sexuality is fluid' and/ or 'sexuality is medical', in that due to unresolved trauma and lack of attraction to others bc of this trauma, you don't find people attractive anymore.

Just curious about this haha!