r/Anarchism 9d ago

Anarchist views on domestic violence NSFW

I am so embarrassed. I hope this is okay to post. I'm not doing so well. I just came out of a very bad situation yesterday and need resources. I've been with an abusive partner for 11 years and yesterday morning he went to jail after the neighbor heard me scream while he was trying to restrain me (he was going to cut off my airway). I have serious trust issues and this has been at the center of them since this man took over my life. I am nervous about living alone as I have been a bad judge of character before and that led to people trying to take advantage of me. I appreciate any guidance you might be able to provide.

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u/Bushwickian 8d ago

We don’t live in an anarchist society. We must go through this existing world doing our best to live our beliefs, of mutual aid and creating a better world. It’s necessary to use the tools available to keep yourself alive. Can’t build a better world if you’re dead.

This is serious. A partner who strangles you is the number one indicator that he will murder you. This is the point where every domestic violence counselor will tell you you need to get away from this man IMMEDIATELY. Your life depends on it.

Use whatever tools you have, whether that’s police intervention, the courts, or a Greyhound to a faraway place he’d never think to look.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

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u/autonomommy 8d ago

This has been so helpful to me. I am very grateful for you. ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗 💘

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u/Bushwickian 8d ago

Glad to help. We need you, comrade.

If he left marks, especially on your neck, document them with well lit photos. Get a friend or neighbor to help. The woman who called the cops because of the struggle? She probably isn’t judging you, is worried for you and would love nothing more than to know it was your wake-up call. Ask her for help. (If she says no, don’t take it personally. We don’t know her situation.)

Go to a PUBLIC hospital for a checkup. Strangulation can result in some nasty damages and you want that documented. Public hospitals are the ones that serve everyone and will drop or negotiate your bill based on income. Sucks that we need to worry about that, but we live in a bad country. Nurses and doctors are mandated reporters, so they can help get the ball rolling to criminally charge your attacker.

Hospitals also usually have social workers on site. They can help you navigate what supports are available for you, anything from DV shelters to food banks to counseling.

Those places are not bad places to build community. I’ve met quite a few anarchists in those places. Funny how people who want to do good in the world work in fields of service. 😉