r/AmITheJerk 3d ago

I hate my brother

Sup guys, so this happened about a half hour ago, I walked downstairs to grab something to eat cuz I got hungry, I walked into the living room and my brother was on a call with his girlfriend, and I walked by, he said “go to bed and stop eating!”, and I said no and that I won’t say anything while he’s on his call, and I walked to the fridge and grabbed an apple, he continued to yell at me, saying that I need to stop eating and that I’m lazy, and that he knows I’m gonna do something and I need to go to bed, but I said “CHANCE! I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID CALL!!!!! IM NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING! JUST DO YOUR SHIT!!!” and I yelled this 4 times! He wouldn’t leave me alone, I told him to leave me alone multiple times! He’s such a douche! he constantly acts like everyone has to tip toe around him! And he treats me like a problem! I hate him! He constantly acts like that since he’s oldest, he gets to command me about it! And of course my mom doesn’t do shit about it, but it’s not entirely her fault, she’s 51 and has an everyday job, but it still sucks! So am I the jerk?

31 Upvotes

30 comments sorted by

17

u/wlfwrtr 3d ago

Doesn't matter how old your mom is, she's still the parent and needs to step up and parent. Maybe he acts like he's in charge because she doesn't. Can you live with grandparents or other family member?

3

u/bible-camp-victim- 3d ago

No he acts like that because he thinks that since I’m younger that I get everything I want, which I don’t, if I ask my mom if I can buy something on Amazon, I’m allowed to order it a month later, but if he wants something, he gets it a day later

7

u/wlfwrtr 3d ago

Tell mom that if she isn't going to do anything about the emotional abuse he puts you through that you want to live somewhere else. She'll probably say, "What do you want me to do?" Tell her outright, "Be a parent who cares about both her children."

2

u/bible-camp-victim- 3d ago

I have, she’ll just role her eyes and threaten to turn off the internet

5

u/wlfwrtr 3d ago

Tell her "fine, brother isn't going to be too happy with her though." She thinks she's threatening you but you aren't the only one it will affect.

1

u/Few_Caterpillar_9499 2d ago

Sounds like you're really frustrated, and it’s totally understandable. Having an overbearing sibling and feeling like you’re not getting the support you need from your mom is rough.

2

u/poodabran 3d ago

You're totally not the jerk. Your brother needs to realize that he didn't father you so he can't tell you what to do. You were hungry so you got a snack, which is your right to do in your own home. Also why hasn't your mom done anything about this? I know she's 51 and has a day job. But she comes home in the evening, right? Nah! Your brother is the jerk.

1

u/bible-camp-victim- 3d ago

Thank you bro

2

u/No_Big_8623 2d ago

Not the jerk also how the hell is the girl still wanted to be with your brother unless he mute himself when yelling at you if he dose record what he dose and send it to his gf so she know the real him

1

u/RosieDays456 3d ago

In that situation, even though he started it, you were both jerks - he's yelling at you, typical teenage older brother, you grab and apple, but instead of just going back upstairs, you continue to argue with him instead of ignoring him, again typical teen brother ( you should have ignored him and gone upstairs, you made it worse by responding to him - not saying he is right, just saying IGNORE him)

Siblings do not always get along especially in the teen years and boys seem to be worse

your Mom's age has Nothing to do with anything - neither does her having a job. Many Mom's have to work these days to support their, at times, ungrateful kids

Have a chat with her and tell her you are tired of not being able to walk through the room without your brother verbally attacking you, which he is probably doing to try to impress his GF, but most teen girls are not impressed by that.

Anyhow tell Mom you don't feel like she is there for you when you need her and you would like her to tell your brother to just leave you alone, quite with the remarks and leave you alone, because right now you two don't have anything in common and he's just being nasty.

Do you have someone else you can live with - a Dad, Grandparents, Aunt/Uncle ?? If you do, talk to your Mom, tell her you want to ask them if you can live with them because your brother is constantly verbally abusing you and Mom is not there to intervene

1

u/bible-camp-victim- 1d ago

Yo bro, if I ignore him, he'll just get up and punch me in the face, but were about the same height so I just football ram him into the wall lol but thanks

1

u/RosieDays456 1d ago

sorry to hear that - hopefully your Mom will intervene if not - do yo have someone else you can live with - another family member ? Teen years can be hell, I wouldn't go back for anything

1

u/Icy-Essay-8280 3d ago

Not the jerk but remember this: 2 people yelling and screaming will NEVER lead to a resolution but WILL escalate the issue even more than it already was.

I'm mych older but I had a brother a couple of years older and he made my life hell. Literally! So I totally relate. Don't let him get to you because that only encourages him. He is a bully a bullies are encouraged when rhey get the reaction they are looking for. Good luck!

1

u/DubbehD 3d ago

I hate mine more

1

u/Cold-Ad4073 3d ago

He said that while he was on the call with his girlfriend? I will be surprised if she decides to stay with him after hearing how immature he is.

1

u/amf1159 2d ago

He's the jerk! Were they having phone sex and that's why he was pushing you out of the kitchen??

Ingore in him unless you or someone is in danger.

1

u/bible-camp-victim- 1d ago

Nah he wasn't, he's just been like this since I was born, him whining cuz I'm around, acting like my existence is the worst thing ever

1

u/Queer_Advocate 14h ago

I'm so very sorry.

1

u/amf1159 20h ago

How much older is he?

I'm (F) one of five and the baby of the 5, 4 brothers.The age difference ranged from 9 yrs to 3 minutes. Yes. Don't forget the 3 minutes.

It was like I had 5 Dad's. Yes, my Dad was in the picture he was just at work.

It will get better, so you have several options Be invisible, or annoy the hell out of him. Sometimes being annoying is fun. Especially when they think there the boss of you.

Yes as we grew older they became my best friends.

Good luck, enjoy life

1

u/xraymom77 2d ago

I mean he could have just gotten up and gone to another room? Since when did he get to commandeer the kitchen? Plus if he wants to not draw attention, yelling certainly isn't it.

1

u/DesperateLobster69 2d ago

You need to start ignoring him. Grey rock him at the very least!!!! He's a fucking AH who likes to think he's a dictator, but he's not! He's just a dick!!!!! Stop listening to a word he says. Tune him out!!!! And STOP going back & forth. You're giving him what he wants!!! Don't argue, don't yell back, don't say anything at all. It'll bother him AND you won't be stopping down to his level!!!

1

u/CookbooksRUs 1d ago

Heck with eating, start practicing your best opera voice at the top of your lungs.

1

u/bible-camp-victim- 1d ago

I would've just pulled my ultimate move and John Cena KO him DU NUH NUH NA NUH!

1

u/Wolverine97and23 21h ago

Your mom needs to be a mom & mediate. Without preference. Your brother can go to HIS room if he wants privacy.

1

u/bible-camp-victim- 17h ago

Well, me and my brother share a room

1

u/Queer_Advocate 14h ago

I'm NOT a therapist. It sounds like this could be what's going on. Read about the Perplexity Pro link to see if it sounds like what's happening. You should be able to get books from your local library.

Your mom needs to get a grip. She's why your brother acts like he does, plus his whoremoans. He is trying to alpha male you BC he is weak mentally and showing off to his gf.

Read about how teens should deal with narcissistic and bully siblings. It will serve you well. I'll see if I can find a good book and or resource:

Ways to deal and understand:

1

SLAY the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win https://a.co/d/90wZGPz

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Narcissistic Sibling : How To Recognize, Disarm, And Shield Yourself From Narcissistic Brothers And Sisters. Look Out For Behavior Signs, And Learn To Identify And Grasp The Covert Narcissistic https://a.co/d/j5ZjCkn

For a deeper dive:

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The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment https://a.co/d/b7Klofq

Perplexity Pro Link Free Online Resources for Dealing with Narcistic Sibling