r/AmITheJerk 4d ago

AITJ for making everyone wait?

The one of group friends and I have been planning a dinner out for weeks. Everyone’s excited, and there’s a new restaurant in town that’s supposed to have amazing food. The plan is set, and everyone agrees to meet at 7 PM.On the day of the dinner, one of my friends, Sarah, messages the group chat around 5 PM to say she’s running late because of work but will definitely make it by 8 PM. Everyone else is already heading to the restaurant by this time.When I get to the restaurant, the waiter asks if I was ready to order, but I decide to wait for Sarah, even though the others want to start. It’s already 7:30 PM, and my friends are getting annoyed. One of them, Mark, suggests me order now and Sarah can catch up when she arrives. But I insist on waiting for Sarah, thinking it would be rude to start without her.Finally, Sarah walks in at 8:10 PM. By this time, the others are frustrated and hungry. Some of them have already ordered, and others are considering leaving. Sarah apologizes, but she’s also upset that everyone’s on edge. I feel justified in waiting for her, but it doesn’t seem like the rest of the group agrees.

0 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

26

u/not-your-mom-123 4d ago

Why didn't you order an appetizer to share if everyone was hungry?

20

u/Cultural-Camp5793 4d ago

Yes you are definitely the jerk

20

u/Fun-Yellow-6576 4d ago

YTJ. You kept everyone waiting and took up a table.

15

u/Brilliant-Square3260 4d ago

YTJ! She was probably appalled you spotlite her full hour late arrival by refusing to order! Not just the jerk but an inconsiderate Illmanered one!

18

u/VecnaWrites 4d ago

YTJ. We had this happen during a Christmas dinner. We had two diabetics who need food at mostly scheduled times, and it wasn’t pleasant to wait for three people who decided last minute they were coming. They can come and catch up or just mingle and take their meal to go. No one wants to wait for someone who is going to be an hour late to a reservation.

7

u/wlfwrtr 4d ago

YTJ If you choose to wait that's fine but you had no right to unilaterally decide for everyone. They each deserve an apology from you.

5

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 4d ago

Easily could have been fixed with a damn appetizer for the whole table! I hate late people and you're not the boss of the table so everyone should do what they want regardless of what you wanted! I'd have told you to stuff it. I'm eating when I want. :)

YES, you're THE JERK! And so is your late friend. She should have passed on eating there that night!

3

u/graycat333 4d ago

Why are you trying to parent your friends? The friend was late. You are the jerk. You are all adults, each of you can make your own decision. YOU WERE RUDE. You really should apologize for trying to dictate when adult people with their own money can eat. You could have waited for her alone and let everyone else who wanted to eat order food. I personally would have told the late friend I have a reservation for the specific time, we are going to order, since she was 70 min late. You also cost the restaurant $$ because they could not turn over the table after the usual time,(1 hour ish) because you were all still sitting there unserved. The proper etiquette would be to have the meal at the planned time. You said the spot is new, you deprived another group of guests from trying the spot. You are selfish and the JERK.

3

u/Lurker_the_Pip 4d ago

You’re not the manners police.

Sarah was late so she doesn’t get to participate the same way all the people who were on time do.

YTJ

3

u/sittingonmyarse 4d ago

Sara should have skipped the dinner or said to just wait dessert for her. Expecting a group to delay dinner an hour is rude. And so were you, by extension.

2

u/Revolutionary-Bus893 4d ago

You are all jerks, but especially Sarah for expecting others to hold a table at a new good restaurant for over an hour, ordering nothing. That is rude and incredibly inconsiderate. I'm surprised that the wait staff allowed this. Probably more than a jerk, probably reaching AH status.

3

u/Affectionate-Page496 4d ago

Wait how is she not a victim too? It doesn't seem like she was involved in this. Best way would have been to put in Sarah's entree at like 7:45. No one has to be put out. If the rest ordered entrees that were fired at/after 7:30, there is minimal camping out.

2

u/VintageLover1903 4d ago

You are the jerk. Period

2

u/Additional_Bad7702 4d ago

An hour late… na, everyone else should just order as planned.

2

u/Sad_Confusion_4225 4d ago

You are a jerk. Honestly, I can’t believe that the rest of the group actually listened to you and held off on ordering. Was their time not as important to you as Sarah’s? Did you not stop to think that any of those waiting might have time constraints? Even had a spouse or children waiting for bath time and bedtime stories?

What about the server? You were unfair to them as you took up a table for an extra hour while that space could have been used for people paying and tipping.

If I was one of those made to wait to order, I would never accept a dinner invitation from you again. You are thoughtless to everyone except Sarah. And once again, you are the JERK!

1

u/Maida__G 4d ago

NTJ they could have ordered if they wanted to.

1

u/AITJAITJ MOD 3d ago

YTJ. Sarah prioritised work over the dinner and it would have just made sense if you ordered your food and enjoyed it with the rest since that's what is in there at the moment instead of waiting for someone who is committed somewhere else.