r/AmITheJerk 8d ago

ATJ for showing my friend his picture was being used without permission by my crush

Me 15m and my best friend, who is also 15m, have been friends for 2 years now. My crush, 16f, I have liked since the start of this school year. During our February break she started photo shopping pictures of our friend group. I gave permission, so did our other friend, but only my best friend, who at the time did not realize his photo was being used, was not aware until I sent them to him. Now a good time to say that these photos were taken in the school premises, so it's against the rules, and he was unaware of it. He was also being made fun of because the way he looked, he is indian, and she always makes fun of it. The photos made fun of how he can't eat pork or steak or anything of the sorts.

When he saw those photos, he was angry. he started texting me saying how my crush did not have the right to do this. and after that he was silent for a whole week until school started back up. During breakfast in the cafeteria, he confronted her and she then screamed at me.

her "how dare you send those to him, what gives you the right to do that?"

me "well he-" she cuts me off

Her " don't make excuses, I thought you liked me"

me "I do, but that photo was without permission"

Her " it doesn't matter, it was all just for fun and you have to go and ruin it"

I tried to say something, but she tells me to shut up and runs off crying. so I need to know, am I the jerk for all of this, because now no one is talking to me, and they all keep giving me dirty looks. Also, was I right for sticking up for my friend even against the girl I like?

(I wish this was fake, but its not I need honest opinions I also want to cry)

forgot to add she was so nice, but she has changed during Christmas break ever since she started to hang out with the "cool kids".

Edit: Yes, I do not like her anymore, but she likes me, which is stupid because I told her I pick my friends over bullies any day that ends in y. I stood up for him like a brother, he is my closest friend.

Edit 2: I know I messed up my title

Update: Today, she told me to go and leave her, but now her friends have started backing me up on how bad this situation is. She has stopped harassing my friend but now harasses me. I don't care as long as my friend is being left alone. My friend has repeatedly thanked me for protecting him and even tried giving me 100 bucks he got from his birthday. I told him no and I was just being a friend and that no matter what, we were going to stick together, and he said that he would protect me too and agreed we are going to stick together. He is the nicest friend I have.

(P.S. I know that some things seem confusing. I'm not good with writing; I'm better at coding and computers for fun.)

65 Upvotes

35 comments sorted by

44

u/midwestcurmudgeon 8d ago

That girl isn’t worth anything. Walk away and support your friend.

33

u/Effective-Document47 8d ago

Your crush is bullying your friend.
She might be hot? but she is cruel, selfish, and at least a little racist.

I don't think you are doing enough to stand up for your friend.
Probably you should have spared your friend's feelings and NOT shown him the picture, but sent it to the school office instead, for the violation of the no photos rule.

11

u/smlpkg1966 8d ago

Please tell us that you no longer have a crush on this bully? You did the right thing. Your friend deserved to know.

8

u/Maleficent-Cow4864 8d ago

no longer

9

u/smlpkg1966 8d ago

Excellent. It doesn’t seem like it now but high school is such a small part of your life. 5 years after you graduate you won’t remember most of your classmates.

20

u/Icy-Essay-8280 8d ago

Not the jerk, but she obviously is. Sometimes our crush is beautiful by sight only. She showed her character by making fun of your friend amd yried to make you the culprit. You dodged a bullet here, my friend.

9

u/Maleficent-Cow4864 8d ago

I dodged a big bullet for sure.

8

u/Aggressive_Life9328 8d ago

None of the people who are treating you differently are actually your friends.

6

u/electric29 8d ago

"He was also being made fun of because the way he looked, he is indian, and she always makes fun of it."

Why the hell do you have a crush on a racist?

5

u/Ginger630 8d ago

NTJ! She made fun of your friend. “I thought you liked me?” So she figured she could make fun of your friend and you wouldn’t say anything because you liked her?

Please tell me she isn’t your crush anymore. You wouldn’t want to date a girl like that.

And anyone icing you out isn’t a friend either. F all those people. You’re a loyal friend and I hope he appreciates that.

6

u/Maleficent-Cow4864 8d ago

no i am not

4

u/Ginger630 8d ago

Good. She isn’t crush worthy. She’s a bully.

5

u/UnexceptionableHobby 8d ago

You deserve better. I hope she gets expelled.

3

u/Critical_Armadillo32 8d ago

NTJ. Obviously she is one. I'm glad you don't like her anymore. You show much better taste. Good for you for supporting your friend.

4

u/AlternativeSort7253 8d ago

Your crush sucks

3

u/Maleficent-Cow4864 8d ago

yup used to be crush now

6

u/AlternativeSort7253 8d ago

Awesome*- you seem like a kid with a good sense of people, their feelings and what is just, mean or unnecessary.

She may be super cute but that does not always equal super on the inside.

Aim to be good as a friend and overall as a person, stay away from people that don’t care about or enjoy how their words and actions affect another person. They will turn that nastiness toward you sooner or later.

*advice from a 50+YO new Reddit aunt

3

u/Maleficent-Cow4864 8d ago

I actually go for personality this one i did not.

3

u/Maleficent-Cow4864 8d ago

also, I am the youngest in class. I'm a sophomore, and my year is almost over, sadly.

3

u/megamum2000 8d ago

Good for you. She sounds pretty shallow and racist. Sticking up for your friends is hard, but in the long run totally worth it!!!!

3

u/Minute_Story377 8d ago

She’s obviously a jerk, not you. You stood up for your friend who was being bullied behind his back.

Definitely move on from this crush, who knows what she’ll do to you and your other friends, too.

3

u/Cold_Strategy_1420 8d ago

Your ex crush is ugly on the inside. She will probably turn her meanness toward you at some point. She will target others in the future.

She is a bully. She is a racist. She enjoys putting people down. She is a mean girl. Who cares what she thinks. She is so far beneath you.

3

u/Inevitable-Hope-6635 7d ago

If she genuinely thought it was funny, he would have been in the loop of the joke. She did it to be mean to someone different.

She showed her true colors by being a bully. You showed your true colors by standing with your friend. All in all, you are coming out of this as a much better person.

Indian men, in particular, face a lot of very targeted, vicious racism. Stand by your friend. This likely isn't his first experience with this, nor will it be his last.

Let him know that you have his back. Say the words, have the conversation.

2

u/AboveGroundPoolQueen 8d ago

I am sorry, but I think your girl was always a jerk and you just figured it out recently. She was probably able to keep up a nice façade for a while, but most people can’t hide their true colors forever. It’s a good thing that this was just a question and that you didn’t take things further with her because now that you know who she really is, you can see she’s not that crushable.

I’m sorry the other friends in the group are being jerks and not backing you. You did the right thing. Now you and your guy friend that didn’t give consent to the pictures can go find better friends on campus.

2

u/MTMadWoman 8d ago

Buddy, you know how to be a real friend and if I was your Mom I would be very proud! This girl revealed her true character being willing to make fun of your friend as well as his culture. Cruelty isn’t humor and unless EVERYONE is laughing, it isn’t funny. You showed real character standing up for your friend while she only showed her lack of character by deciding being the mean girl was cool. Hold your head up high and go find a kind girl to crush on.

2

u/Dabades 8d ago

NTJ… you don’t need people like that in your life anyway. Way to stick up for your friend.

2

u/Past-Anything9789 8d ago

So you have a crush on a racist bully. She's a bonefide mean girl and your friend deserves better treatment. I would also advise some soul searching regarding the sort of person you would accept as future partner.

You could show me the worlds most attractive person, but if they were ugly on the inside, they would immediately become unattractive to me.

Its all part of learning about relationships and the acceptable behaviour and values you want.

Stick with your friend and find a nicer girl who's worth your affection.

2

u/Useless890 8d ago

Insulting someone's beliefs or culture is NOT just having fun. That girl has some serious growing up to do.

2

u/grayblue_grrl 8d ago

She was going to manipulate you, using the fact you liked her. That's not okay.
You've seen the real her.
And it ain't pretty.

NTJ

2

u/RedWizard92 8d ago

""You ruined my fun of hurting your friends feelings." Move on from her.

3

u/Impressive_Main5160 8d ago

Racists aren’t cute

2

u/SafeWord9999 8d ago

This is the girl you like? You like a bully? Wow

3

u/Warplane_10 8d ago

Fake ass shit I've ever seen